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Old 01-13-2013, 01:41 PM
 
5,064 posts, read 5,730,610 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elained10 View Post
Thanks everyone for the advice I really appreciate it. I sat him at the dinner table yesterday and he tried some new food even just a bite but that's more than what he was doing. I know it's not a texture thing with some foods as he use to eat he just woke up and stopped all of a sudden I don't know why or what happened. He was a good eater he always had breakfast lunch and dinner with snacks like a yogurt or something if I fell he was still hungry. He's never really ate dairy but he had a dairy intolerance when he was born and was very sick for 6months at 11 months he stopped drinking milk all together, that's when I tried introducing yogurt and to my surprise he was fine with it no reaction or anything.

I'm sitting just now and I have sat his breakfast down to him and all hells breaking loose!! He's throwing tantrums screaming etc, I deal with this by ignoring him as I don't want to get angry or raise my voice to him. The thing I find most challenging is my mother always gives into him and gives him sweets etc which I hate because hes getting his fill by eating junk and it doesn't matter what I say she will not listen to what I say so it causes tension between us.

I have made some food and sat it in his bowl and hopefully he will eat it and if not I'll just make something again later until he decides to try it. I don't make a big deal when I make him something new I never have as I don't want to put any pressure on him........ I know the one thing he won't eat is potato he's tried it I think 4 times and each time he's been really really sick so I dont try him with this anymore.

I know it will take him I just hope he eventually tries new foods.
Does your mother live with you? If so, you have to lay down some rules. He doesn't need to be getting all his calories from sweets and juice. I would way cut back on the juice too. Juice is not necessarily healthy, and it's bad for teeth. If he won't drink milk, give him water instead. Eventually he will get tired of water and might want milk again.

This is a power struggle and right now he's winning. And not just by a little bit. When he has adults running to Subway for him constantly, he's winning by a lot.

My oldest has texture issues and often threw up at dinner. So we didn't pressure him to eat a ton of foods, but we also didn't completely cater to him. If I'm making a casserole, I might pull out some chicken and rice as seperate items rather than give him the casserole mixed with soups or whatever.
And I always have big helping of fruit on his plate to help fill him up. (He loves pretty much all fruit). He's 11 and will eat all kinds of things now that he wouldn't eat in the past. He even has a few casseroles that he loves.

Stop buying the tuna rolls right now. Cut way back on the juice. And if the sweets from Grandma are an every day thing, lay down the law with grandma too. At the next meal, put down a few bites of a few different foods, and wait. Don't get into a fight with him. Do beg or conjole. Don't bribe. Just happily serve him his food, and when the meal is over, it's over, don't worry about what he has eaten. Repeat at each meal and snack time and after a couple of days things will be much better.
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Old 01-13-2013, 05:05 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 16,014,164 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
But it's also very hard because people are so judgmental and sanctimonious about it. "Give him to me, because I could do much better than you" - how is that helpful, exactly?
Maybe I came across that way, but the point was that it's the parents , not the kid.
It's a power struggle and mom is not winning...

It affects the whole family, stresses out mom and isn't healthy for the child.
I don't mean to judge, but the mom came on a forum to get advice.
I don't see how telling her other ways that she can jump through a few more hoops for
her childs eating style helps.

After the added info about his health up until now its completely understandable why she is worried about his eating ...I would probably be worse.. But figuring out how to quit the eating/meal time dance they have going on will help her...
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Old 01-13-2013, 05:33 PM
 
Location: San Marcos, TX
2,569 posts, read 7,744,488 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missRoxyhart View Post
I refused to eat a lot of food from a very young age too. My parents tried to ground me and make me stay at the table, things like that. I rarely gave in if ever. I'm still like that today in ways. It's true your kid won't starve himself, we all get hungry eventually but he may or may not grow out of it soon. Some people are simply picky. If he does stay that way, I guarantee he will find more food he likes either way.
My mother used to make me stay there to finish dinner too. I would outlast her, she'd fall asleep on the couch in the other room and my father would come and send me to bed! A battle of wills is never a good idea.
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Old 01-13-2013, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,259 posts, read 64,375,553 times
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That's a tough battle to have, op. I remember my parents' battle with my little brother.

We've been giving our son (13 months) every kind of food under the sun since he's been allowed solids.
Indian food, thai food, chinese food, japanese food/rolls, all kinds of veggies and fruits, meats, fish (sparingly - most big fish like tuna and salmon are heavily contaminated), cheeses, and very very very occasionally, dessert items (very sparingly). Most of the time, the only sweet thing he gets is fruit.
So far he eats everything. His favorite food is bananas. Hands down.
The next thing of note is that he prefers non-bland food...meaning he likes things with a little spice/flavor.

Do you think your son likes the flavors of the tuna fish sandwich? It kind of has a sauce to it.
Maybe he likes that it has a distinct flavor. Tuna is not subtle. You can try other distinctly flavored foods.

Frankly, the juice needs to go. Water or milk (again, sparingly) should be all you offer. And put brightly colored food with various flavor profiles in front of him. He'll eat.

Hope this works.
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Old 01-13-2013, 06:09 PM
 
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I would pay attention to the national guidelines(link below) for how much Tuna a child of his weight should have .
The mercury varies depending on the type, so it would help to know what type of tuna Subway uses..


NRDC: Mercury Contamination in Fish - Eating Tuna Safely
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Old 01-13-2013, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,731 posts, read 6,119,535 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
Maybe I came across that way, but the point was that it's the parents , not the kid.
It's a power struggle and mom is not winning...

It affects the whole family, stresses out mom and isn't healthy for the child.
I don't mean to judge, but the mom came on a forum to get advice.
I don't see how telling her other ways that she can jump through a few more hoops for
her childs eating style helps.

After the added info about his health up until now its completely understandable why she is worried about his eating ...I would probably be worse.. But figuring out how to quit the eating/meal time dance they have going on will help her...
What you don't understand is that it isn't always the parents. And there are any number of parents who have multiple children, treat them all the same way and 1 just doesn't eat everything. I don't expect you to believe me, because most people MUST believe that it is my fault entirely. That since their kids didn't do this it's because of something they did right. But it simply is not the case all the time.
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Old 01-13-2013, 06:40 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 16,014,164 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
What you don't understand is that it isn't always the parents. And there are any number of parents who have multiple children, treat them all the same way and 1 just doesn't eat everything. I don't expect you to believe me, because most people MUST believe that it is my fault entirely. That since their kids didn't do this it's because of something they did right. But it simply is not the case all the time.
I was one of those kids that was super picky..My siblings ate fine..I loved the attention it got me ...

I just think that if allowed to not eat a day or so, a child would eat what they are given.
That isn't something many parents would do..

I think its worse to continue an unhealthy diet everyday...
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Old 01-13-2013, 06:47 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 16,014,164 times
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I have a friend who has been catering to her daughter's eating habits all her life.
The daughter is 20 now and if we all go out of town , everyone is expected to eat at the
place that will have the one thing she will eat. This girl's eating is the main concern for her mom and
her mother treats it like an allergy or something that can't be helped.

When mine were little and someone invited us to dinner and asked about whether the kids would eat what they fixed I assured them that it would be good for them to be hungry, with new foods available and
no options. That helps them branch out...

If after the baby stage , people take their "special" food everywhere they go , the child learns that they don't have to try new things.
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Old 01-13-2013, 08:16 PM
 
5,652 posts, read 19,353,293 times
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Our pediatrician once gave us some good advice. He said don't worry about the kids eating vegetables, and fruits. You need to be more concerned about calcium and protein intake as those are most important for the bones and the brain development. So since he is getting the protein and the calcium... you can always sneak and get the OJ with calcium added. I did that with our child that refused milk. finally got her to drink chocolate milk at least. Our other child went through a stage where all he ate was peanutbutter, bananas and graham crackers (he at least was always a milk drinker though).
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Old 01-13-2013, 09:01 PM
 
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Re the potato refusal, potatoes, along with tomatoes, peppers and eggplant, are part of the Deadly Nightshade family and some people react very strongly, and badly, to the alkaloids in the skin. Let him set the pace on those foods. As kids get older, they often seem to be able to tolerate them more, but some people never grow out of the sensitivity.

Also, you could try mixing small amounts of protein powder into the yoghurt to up the protein count. And I too wondered if there was something in particular about the tuna sandwich that he really likes. If you can get some feedback from him and isolate the favoured taste, you might be able to replicate it with a different protein.
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