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Great answer Ringo and I agree. Personally, I'm glad that my husband and I had kids (well adopted) a bit later in life. I wasn't ready to be a mom and being a parent in my 20's probably would have made everyone miserable. We are financially stable, have traveled the world, and pretty much don't mind being homebodies at this point. However, there are a number of wonderful parents who had kids at an earlier age and are happy, the kids are happy and it was a good decision for them. I think that it varies in each case and no one size fits all.
One situation that bothers me and a number of my friends have family members doing this....young women in their early 20's casually having kids with the boyfriend of the moment. It is almost like they haven't heard of birth control and opps, here comes another baby. I've watched one of my good friends parent her grand daughter---her daughter really isn't interested and lacks the maturity to be a parent. I was just informed that she has a new boyfriend and expecting baby number 2. Her first boyfriend, although paying child support, wants nothing to do with the kid. This young man has fathered two other kids by different women. I mostly feel sorry for the child growing up in a household where they are a burden. This isn't an isolated case amongst my friends. Most of these young girls haven't aspired to higher education and scratch by in low wage jobs. I think that for a young, single woman, it sets you up for great challenges in life, especially if the baby is the byproduct of a casual relationship. I'm sure that some women manage just fine. In my circles of acquaintences, they are not.
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
There was a story recently about this and it mentioned most kids born to younger parents was out of wedlock and to less educated people.
There is a huge difference between early 20's, boyfriend of the moment, and late 20's, married. The title of the thread asks why people under 30 have kids. I think it is important to make the distinction. A lot of people in their 20's are perfectly well equipped.
There is a huge difference between early 20's, boyfriend of the moment, and late 20's, married. The title of the thread asks why people under 30 have kids. I think it is important to make the distinction. A lot of people in their 20's are perfectly well equipped.
Agreed Kibbiekat and hopefully I made the distinction in my post. I personally know many families, including many of my military cohorts, who did quite well parenting in their 20s. My comment was more towards what I'm seeing a few of my older friends going through...parenting their grandchildren.
Huh? Why would you be proud to be a single mom? It's one thing to be proud that you are striving despite being a single mom but I can't think of single motherhood is a badge of honor (unless times have changed) .
And as an academic you do realize the very direct correlation between out of wedlock/single motherhood and poverty rates, right? The deck is stacked but the scariest data is for single moms with no college so it's possible for you.
I'm proud of being a single mom because I am not ashamed of what happened to me. I got screwed over like everyone else has one way or the other, but life goes on. Why would I live the rest of my life ashamed and upset? I wouldn't. That would do absolutely nothing for my situation. So I suppose times have changed as in people are taking more charge of their lives and not letting society define who they are. Times have changed to when life gets terrible, we still keep a smile all the way through because our perception has changed from negative to positive. Single motherhood is my badge of honor because I made it one. It's called turning a horrible situation into a fantastic one. I'm not ashamed of who I am and even more so, I'm not ashamed of what happened to me because I know it wasn't my fault. As I stated way earlier, I wanted a child, I thought my ex wanted a child too and I thought he was going to marry me. He owned his own business and we lived together so anyone would think it would work. My child's father is currently in his late thirties so what does that say about people having kids over 30???? Age doesn't automatically create maturity. Anyway, it didn't happen and I wound up pregnant and alone. No I did not see it coming because he was a good liar and very deceptive but I refuse to let what he did make me ashamed. I'm just stronger and way more hopeful than that.
The statistics are very alarming but it still does not account for every individual single momma. I'm currently in college and going further. I have had college before too and I am continuing to advance myself so I don't really see where you're going with that. I'm not in the position where I have had no college at all.
Yes everyone should have babies in their 20s and let taxpayers pay for them!
And I hope you're equally up in arms about the mortgage interest deduction, and the lifelong learning tax credit, subsidies to large farms, low taxes on capital gains, and subsidized small business loans. Those are entitlement programs every bit as much as welfare, WIC, and Head Start are.
Personally I am thrilled that my tax dollars go towards welfare and Medicaid/Medicare and WIC and Head Start. The breadth and depth of the social safety net is what differentiates societies where people have the highest quality of life, by pretty much any measure you care to look at, from everywhere else.
And before you ask: no, neither I nor (to the best of my knowledge) any member of my extended family have ever been on welfare, food stamps, or any other type of anti-poverty aid.
In Illinois 54% of all births are on Medicaid and 94% of all teen births are. Think about that next time this comes up.
I don't understand why the taxpayers have to cover these costs. What about rounding up the fathers of these infants and making them responsible? Hasn't anyone thought of this? Or the parents of the teenager giving birth? Where were/are the girl's parent's? They never told her about birth control? Our society encourages these one parent families and rewards them with endless freebies.
I was married and a mom at age 20. My son is a Staff Sgt for the US Army.
Yup...draining your tax dollars protecting your freedom of speech.
Never once claimed any tax $ I was actually "entitled" to.
Yup...blame it all on the young people.
Mom of a Master Sgt here. He was born just before my 19th b-day. And, his father and I were together for thirty-four years, God rest his soul.
Too many people painting with a house-wide sized brush. I don't know if it is the company they keep or what, but, it is a sad commentary that so many seem to only know/associate with "takers."
Personally I am thrilled that my tax dollars go towards welfare and Medicaid/Medicare and WIC and Head Start.
HeadStart is a proven failure. Why be thrilled to encourage single women to bear fatherless children we the taxpayers are responsible for? Where are the men who impregnated these girls and women. What about the girl's parents? Let them pony up. If that happened you would see the out-of-wedlock births drop off to nothing.
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The breadth and depth of the social safety net is what differentiates societies where people have the highest quality of life, by pretty much any measure you care to look at, from everywhere else.
That net should not be necessary for single women. Cut that net loose or make her, the man and or her parent's (or all of them) responsible for the costs of raising the child. I mean, how dumb can a girl of woman be as to think having a baby while single is a good thing? What they see as a good thing is the free ride they get for the next 18 years. Why lower the standard of living of the taxpayers to raise the standard of living of such selfish people?
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And before you ask: no, neither I nor (to the best of my knowledge) any member of my extended family have ever been on welfare, food stamps, or any other type of anti-poverty aid.
I can say the same. I waited until I was married before I had children.
I have had college before too and I am continuing to advance myself so I don't really see where you're going with that. I'm not in the position where I have had no college at all.
I never said you didn't have any college experience. I said most of the studies relating to poverty and single parenting say that it's worse for those with no college background, then I explicitly acknowledged the fact that you had some college education so that statistic might not apply to you . no disrespect
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Why would I live the rest of my life ashamed and upset? I wouldn't. That would do absolutely nothing for my situation. So I suppose times have changed as in people are taking more charge of their lives and not letting society define who they are. Times have changed to when life gets terrible, we still keep a smile all the way through because our perception has changed from negative to positive. Single motherhood is my badge of honor because I made it one. It's called turning a horrible situation into a fantastic one. I'm not ashamed of who I am and even more so, I'm not ashamed of what happened to me because I know it wasn't my fault. As I stated way earlier, I wanted a child, I thought my ex wanted a child too and I thought he was going to marry me. He owned his own business and we lived together so anyone would think it would work. My child's father is currently in his late thirties so what does that say about people having kids over 30???? Age doesn't automatically create maturity. Anyway, it didn't happen and I wound up pregnant and alone. No I did not see it coming because he was a good liar and very deceptive but I refuse to let what he did make me ashamed. I'm just stronger and way more hopeful than that. 
