19 years old on pot and selling!!! What should we do?

[Keim]

Yep, Ankharu nailed it! Never mind the increased cancer risk, lung damage and documented loss of IQ in teens. Pot is good stuff! Also ignore the fact that most of the people I see in drug addiciton programs (I work in the field of Substance Use Disorders) started with either alcohol or pot, and pot can be psychologically addicting.

Move right along folks. Nothing to see here...

Originally Posted by Ankhharu

...You can't OD on weed. It's not a gateway drug. The benefits outweigh the negatives. Fortunately most of the BS religious and government propaganda is being exposed for what is is.

[RazorRob305]

Originally Posted by mwr1203

We have a 19 year old barely graduated High School. Got himself involved with the wrong kids and now he is not only smoking pot he is selling it. We have given him more than enough time to get his life started, but the outlook he has on life is absolutely ridiculous. We are filled with so much disappointment, sadness and shame that we don't know what to do anymore.
We took his car away recently because he got in an accident and we are paying for the car..

Don't pay for his car "EVER!'. He obviously thinks he knows what a good paying job is and acts like he's making good money doing it, so make him pay for his own car. My mom never paid for my car and I always paid rent or some kind of bills ever since I was 16. This is the problem with kids these days, they don't have the responsibility that older generations had. I would tell him if he wants to sell and use drugs then move out on his own because it's not worth you guys getting busted for something he did. He wants to live like an adult in the real world dealing drugs, then tell him to get his stuff and move out.

[Pear Martini]

Originally Posted by DewDropInn

What should you do?

Stop being afraid of him and tell him YOU pay the mortgage (which means it's your roof) and you aren't going to put up with him being the local pot dealer any more.

Then you take the door off his bathroom and his bedroom and tell him rent is $500 a month (food is extra - as is cable) and you get paid before his supplier. If he complains his mattress is suddenly at the curb waiting for bulk pick-up day. Tell him you hope his doper buddies have a comfy couch. (And give him a hug when he leaves because no matter what you love him.)

The problem is.... right now, he's the boss and calling the shots. You have to pull up the Parental Unit Pants and revoke that.

This.

I'm a millennial but a product of old school tough love (my mom wasn't in the U.S during 60s).

If I pulled the **** your son is doing when I lived at home, I would go home everyday in fear of finding all of my things packed up waiting outsde for me.

I probably would have been called a worthless druggy who would never amount to anything. I probably would have been smacked hard.

I had NO privacy. When I lived at home between the ages of 17-20. The only door my bedroom had was a sliding door and I was often not allowed to shut it. At the time, I hated it. But I didn't deserve privacy. I was smoking pot everyday and hanging out with a lot of criminal types.

I love my mom even more for her tough love because when she actually says something like "I'm proud of you" it means so much more when I know she isn't saying it for my "self-esteem" she is saying it because I worked my ass off for it and it comes from her heart. Plus, I'm tougher because of how I was raised.

I used to be a bad seed in high school, the worst among my friends. I experimented with drugs, never respected curfew, came home drunk every weekend, and attempted running away over silly **** like not being able to go to the beach with my friends. Now, at 23 I'm far ahead of the kids I hung out with back them academically and professionally. Their parents now tell them I'm a good example/person.

I credit this all to my mom being tough and even downright mean. I spent a lot of time hating her, but she made me who I am. Her method of raising me made me stronger than a lot of my high school peers, most of whom never went to college or use more drugs than just pot now. One is in rehab for heroin right now.

If I ever have kids I'll be like my mom. Its sort of like tiger mom except she never forced me to practice piano every night

We are very close now and I plan on moving somewhere close to where she is after I graduate from my program. We talk on the phone almost everyday and now that I'm on the right path, she treats me with a lot of respect and care. I earned it.

[RazorRob305]

Originally Posted by Pear Martini

This.

I'm a millennial but a product of old school tough love (my mom wasn't in the U.S during 60s).

If I pulled the **** your son is doing when I lived at home, I would go home everyday in fear of finding all of my things packed up waiting outsde for me.

I probably would have been called a worthless druggy who would never amount to anything. I probably would have been smacked hard.

I had NO privacy. When I lived at home between the ages of 17-20. The only door my bedroom had was a sliding door and I was often not allowed to shut it. At the time, I hated it. But I didn't deserve privacy. I was smoking pot everyday and hanging out with a lot of criminal types.

I love my mom even more for her tough love because when she actually says something like "I'm proud of you" it means so much more when I know she isn't saying it for my "self-esteem" she is saying it because I worked my ass off for it and it comes from her heart. Plus, I'm tougher because of how I was raised.

I used to be a bad seed in high school, the worst among my friends. I experimented with drugs, never respected curfew, came home drunk every weekend, and attempted running away over silly **** like not being able to go to the beach with my friends. Now, at 23 I'm far ahead of the kids I hung out with back them academically and professionally. Their parents now tell them I'm a good example/person.

I credit this all to my mom being tough and even downright mean. I spent a lot of time hating her, but she made me who I am. Her method of raising me made me stronger than a lot of my high school peers, most of whom never went to college or use more drugs than just pot now. One is in rehab for heroin right now.

If I ever have kids I'll be like my mom. Its sort of like tiger mom except she never forced me to practice piano every night

We are very close now and I plan on moving somewhere close to where she is after I graduate from my program. We talk on the phone almost everyday and now that I'm on the right path, she treats me with a lot of respect and care. I earned it.

Great story of your life. Glad you learned from your mother's way of tough love. I also grew up in a household similar to yours. It's a shame that so many parents these days let their children get away with so much. They are too afraid of hurting their child's feelings or making things uncomfortable for their children. Plus society frowns on physical punishment these days. I remember back in the 80's going to school and paddling kids was a normal thing when you did something wrong. I remember when spanking your kids was acceptable. Too bad society has made a change for the worst.