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Old 06-03-2013, 02:38 PM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,816,936 times
Reputation: 11124

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You disappoint with almost every update.

You need to tell her either she goes for counseling, or she just plain "goes."

And why the heck do you allow to treat your son like he's 5? Moderator Cut quit kissing her hiney. Jeez.

Last edited by Jaded; 06-03-2013 at 10:13 PM.. Reason: Language

 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:41 PM
 
7,743 posts, read 15,874,077 times
Reputation: 10457
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
2) I feel that his mom does treat him like a child and I feel like I have his best interest at heart.
How? You've set a bad example with your wife so far.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:42 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 857,552 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post

And why the heck do you allow to treat your son like he's 5?
She would view any objection as undermining her and that's a whole new can of worms
 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:42 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,192,076 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
1) I didn't want to fight about it in public( and yes she would do that)
2) I feel that his mom does treat him like a child and I feel like I have his best interest at heart.

Your intentions are good. I am going to say something that I hope you take the right way. I mean to try and be helpful. Grow a pair! If she starts fighting in public, you get up and leave.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:43 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 857,552 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
How? You've set a bad example with your wife so far.
I feel that the one on one time and the counseling is keeping his best interest at heart.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:43 PM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,816,936 times
Reputation: 11124
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Your intentions are good. I am going to say something that I hope you take the right way. I mean to try and be helpful. Grow a pair! If she starts fighting in public, you get up and leave.
and just give her one minute to follow you to the car.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma
6,811 posts, read 6,948,599 times
Reputation: 20971
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
I kept my promise to her and told her that i wanted to go out and have a nice dinner last night. I tried to keep things light hearted. She looked really beautiful and i told her she did multiple times( this made her blush). Turns out my son's Chicago trip was uneventful. She spent her weekend rotating between sitting in a bathtub and sleeping.The place we went was quiet and real romantic. Like I said, it was lighthearted and we spent our time reminiscing about our early dating years. She proceeded to drop a bomb on me " Sweetie, I don't want to go to therapy anymore." We don't need it, look at us, having dinner together, being nice to each other, we don't need it, we're fine". As I've said before, counseling helps my peace of mind and I hope and feel that my son feels the same way.
She proceeded with an overloaded amount of puppy dog eyes and lip pouting. She proceeded to ask me if I was going to make her go. I told her that she was a grown woman who could make her own choices but that I would still be going to marriage counseling( alone) and family counseling with him. She was pretty bubbly the rest of the night seeing as how she got out of counseling. She went so far as to tell me, when we got home, that I could give her a kiss, because I had " earned it." When we got home at around 1( after dinner and just driving around) he was just watching TV alone on the couch with his feet on the coffee table( no feet on the table is kind of a rule but not a serious offense) she yelled at him for being awake and having his feet up. I really see no justification for her anger, he's 18 and the table was no big deal. She told him to go to his room and she would deal with him in the morning. They were sleeping when I left so I have no ida what she said to him.
Irish, did you tell her that the marriage is NOT fine? She either has her head in the sand about your feelings, or doesn't care. If the marriage is important to her, she needs to participate in the therapy. It sounds as though she wants you to give up, go back to the way things were and have you "earn" her affections by treating her to what she wants. Please don't do that....you will be doing yourself a grave disservice. If she absolutely refuses to go, continue on your own. But I would tell her the progress you make in therapy may not have the outcome she expects.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:45 PM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,816,936 times
Reputation: 11124
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
I feel that the one on one time and the counseling is keeping his best interest at heart.
Part of that is telling her back off of him, to treat like he's 18 and let him flex some testosterone.
 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:53 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 857,552 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath View Post
Irish, did you tell her that the marriage is NOT fine?
I'm sorry to say, I changed the topic
 
Old 06-03-2013, 02:58 PM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,816,936 times
Reputation: 11124
And there you have it. Irish, give it up and just deal with it. Accept you have no voice or respect in this marriage. Just do her bidding and keep your misery to yourself. That'll make her happy, and in the end, that's all that matters to you.

You were meant for each other. Just how deep are those heel marks on your back?
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