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This is where some of us disagree in terms of "respecting authority." Yes, this father "demanded" all contact to end, but to me that sounds more like unreasonable, over-controlling, bullyish behavior than caring parental guidance. I cannot fathom why the father is so adamant about a complete lack of contact, considering his only reason was that "they are too serious and we all know where that leads". To my knowledge no girl ever got pregnant (or even touched) via email or phone.
I think this father's demands are arbitrary and his type of control is despicable. His daughter is 16 years old, for Pete's sake, she is not a little toddler incapable of making decisions. I have more respect for OPs son, who is continuing to be a supportive friend via email, than I do for that father.
A restraining order is granted only when abuse has taken place. I cannot imagine one being granted in this case, because I highly doubt the girl would lie about her (ex?)boyfriend and say that he had abused her.
What some of you just don't seem to understand or appreciate is whether we all like it or not (and I don't think anyone here likes the girls dad!) he has the right to make the rules for his own child!
Maybe you are not aware of it, but many parents do not allow kids to date at 16, for various reasons.
Again, it is none of our business and we get absolutely NO say so in whether or not that is "okay", "normal" or "right".
Sabinerose and her son get no say so either.
None of us have to respect the girls parents, not even Sabinerose's son.
But we do have to respect the fact that the parents are the ultimate authority of what their child does.
I think most of us think the girl's father is a dipstick, to say the least. However, he is not the one posting here. He's made his decision.
I'm not surprised the lying and sneaking has begun. It happens, when parents try to interfere with relationships. However, I think the OP should stay out of it. There's no way that copying emails will "prove" anything about who initiated what. The OP could find herself in hot water if she aids and abets her son.
Haven't read the entire thread. Think the OP has serious boundary issues . . .making her son give her his email password? Copying his emails to a disk for "evidence." Talk about drama . . .
OP: Give your advice and then BACK OFF. This is your son's life, not yours. Did you have overbearing parents growing up? Teens have all kinds of dramas that parents are better off not knowing about . . .think back on your youth . . .would you want your parents to know every dumb thing you thought and/or did?
I think most of us think the girl's father is a dipstick, to say the least. However, he is not the one posting here. He's made his decision.
I'm not surprised the lying and sneaking has begun. It happens, when parents try to interfere with relationships. However, I think the OP should stay out of it. There's no way that copying emails will "prove" anything about who initiated what. The OP could find herself in hot water if she aids and abets her son.
I agree. Age 16 is not mature enough to plan on having a life-long committment anyhow -- now would be the perfect time to encourage the son to date around a little, meet other girls. Go out with people whose parents allow it.
I don't know what the OP's goal really is here. If the youngsters break up -- they break up. They're far too young for marriage or or serious relationship anyhow. Encouraging the girl to lie and sneak isn't productive or positive. The son needs to learn to move on and to realize that if his relationship with this girl is really meant to be, they will meet up at some later point in time, for now she's a minor child and her parents say she can't date.
My son dated a girl who was 17 and whose parents said she had to be home by 9:30 pm -- I told him he needed to respect their wishes and have her home by 9:30 pm. It worked out better -- he could take her home by 9 or 9:30 and still have plenty of time to hang out with his guy friends until he had to be home by 11 pm.
Haven't read the entire thread. Think the OP has serious boundary issues . . .making her son give her his email password? Copying his emails to a disk for "evidence." Talk about drama . . .
OP: Give your advice and then BACK OFF. This is your son's life, not yours. Did you have overbearing parents growing up? Teens have all kinds of dramas that parents are better off not knowing about . . .think back on your youth . . .would you want your parents to know every dumb thing you thought and/or did?
How about giving him some privacy?
Maybe you should have read the whole thread and her previous one before you passed judgement?
This kid has a good relationship with his parents - a difficult concept for many here to imagine I'm sure - but Sabinerose and her husband are giving him plenty of respect, privacy and mentoring, which is what good parents do.
I think the son should change his email password and not give the new one to his mom. I think the mom should destroy whatever emails she's already copied. Let them carry this out on their own if that's what they want to do.
I think the son should change his email password and not give the new one to his mom. I think the mom should destroy whatever emails she's already copied. Let them carry this out on their own if that's what they want to do.
Then mom needs to take away the computer, or just not allow him to use it without 100% supervision.
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