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Perhaps you can think of more activities that you can do together with your daughter. Going to the library every other week (or once a month) and check out new books together and then read those books together at home.
Libraries also have many books about free, fun activities and crafts do with young children. Perhaps you can go online to look for activities to do with your child or free coloring sheets to print out . I know that you probably really miss your child but constantly looking for more toys to buy won't ease your pain.
Even simple things like going to a fruit stand and buying fruit and making fruit salad at home for lunch can be an exciting experience for pre-schoolers. Or packing a lunch and going to park for a picnic and then to play on the equipment would be a wonderful idea.
Too many toys is a problem for many children. Think of it this way, If you spend $10 on books or small toys and $10 at McDonald's a week after a year that is $1,040. Perhaps, you could save up that money and put it towards training for you to get a better job or to move to a better neighborhood or even for a college fund for your child.
Do you want your child to think of you only as the "Gift Daddy" ? I don't know about your situation but I have seen far too many families where the "Fun, Weekend Daddy" takes their child to Chuckie Cheese (or an expensive restaurant) every week and buys lots of expensive gifts and toys while the mother is struggling to pay for basic necessitates, like shoes or haircuts, for the children. It is really very sad.
Good luck to you. BTW Kids of all ages love to play with big empty boxes. Think about that for next week.
Without getting into too much detail beyond the scope of the question, we do a lot of activities. Many more than the average family. There are many websites that list childrens' activities in our area and I have at least one planned for each day. She's been to all the museums, petted all the animals, done train rides, boat rides, several libraries, pumpkin patch, swam in all the pools, been in the planetarium etc. So with regard to that I think we're far ahead of the curve.
She loves to color. Although staying in the lines isn't a facet of her artistic style. Printing out free coloring sheets is definitely a good idea. I don't feed her McDonald's. We're very diet conscious. With regard to job training, I'm trained about as highly as you can get as far as degrees go and published in my field. While I did have it rough growing up, been homeless etc. That's not our situation now. We're not in Malibu, but she's a baby and frankly there are still a plethora of cultural activities for kids a short cab ride away. I run several businesses. I just don't make a killing doing it. I've been applying to traditional jobs for a couple of years now with no luck it's really rough. I've had maybe 3 interviews out of about 250 applications. And then the second round of applications and then dead air. So I do the businesses to make ends meet.
Also I have her more than the weekend (because running my own businesses gives me the opportunity to stay at home with her more often). I don't rent out an office space. So I'm saving money there and I'm generally with her several days a week. Most museum memberships etc. are relatively inexpensive. With regard to the essentials her mom and I do those separately. While we share, and it's not a volatile situation between us, she has everything at my house that she has over there. (Even though I'm technically paying for it twice by providing the support and then still buying the goods that support 23is supposed to cover). Her needs aren't met there and this is the wild kingdom. Her needs are equally met in both homes and if she's experiencing an equal amount of education/cultural experience in her other home that would be miraculous. With regard to support I pay much more than the average father of one child. I voluntary pay what most states order for multiple children. Of course kids are very expensive so I recognize even that can't be covering it all. But I pay a hefty support and am glad to. I also contribute to her daycare on days she's not with me. Additionally her mother's side is very wealthy and caring, so she's not in a situation where she's foregoing basic necessities. She's taken care of on both ends.
We just live in a place I wouldn't dare let her go to public elementary school. So we'll be moving before then.
I understand what you're saying about the $1040 and that's something to consider. But $1040 won't get you an English Basement in my zip code (gentrification). Let alone the areas I'd like to move to. And, unfortunately I'm spending a lot more than that annually. But you're right. You can never go wrong by saving.
My question was more-so is there something mentally unhealthy about all the purchases and constant gift giving (not as in me being crazy for doing it) but is it damaging to her? Out of the gifts a few are building sets but most are books and DVD's. I'd say she has an extensive vocabulary for her age full sentences, can count to 20 etc. She can identify shapes, animals, letters, numbers, although she's not reading yet. I think she's doing pretty good for a 2 year old and I attribute a lot of that to these books, DVD's and just being around and putting in the time.
Maybe my initial post gave a poor impression that I'm struggling to feed her chicken nuggets and can't afford to keep decent shoes on her feet whilst "blowing money" on these gifts. That's not the case.
My question is, is there a negative psychological impact to her for always coming over to a couple new items? Or, is it okay to provide what you can for your child? I don't want an entitled, spoiled brat, with a consumerist complex. But past purchases are a part of the reason she does know her ABC's, colors, shapes, animals, etc. on a Kindergartener's level at 2. So I wouldn't really want to cut those out, but is too much?
My question was more-so is there something mentally unhealthy about all the purchases and constant gift giving (not as in me being crazy for doing it) but is it damaging to her?
I see nothing wrong with it. Pay attention to signs that she is getting too picky, like getting whiny about not having the right item or something.
Personally, I wouldn't do it as a gift with a big to do, but just have it in the house for her. At this age, she doesn't care a lot about where things come from.
Growing up, my parents were togther, but I knew kids who went to different parents at differen times (your situation if I'm reading it right) and some of the kids hated going to one paritcular parent because there wasn't much to do there. I think having stuff for her to do - both now as well as when she is in grade school and a teenager - is important so the time spent in your house is interesting.
I see nothing wrong with it. Pay attention to signs that she is getting too picky, like getting whiny about not having the right item or something.
Personally, I wouldn't do it as a gift with a big to do, but just have it in the house for her. At this age, she doesn't care a lot about where things come from.
Growing up, my parents were togther, but I knew kids who went to different parents at differen times (your situation if I'm reading it right) and some of the kids hated going to one paritcular parent because there wasn't much to do there. I think having stuff for her to do - both now as well as when she is in grade school and a teenager - is important so the time spent in your house is interesting.
Thanks. Yeah I don't make a big to-do really except I do let her open the boxes because she enjoys the feeling of accomplishment/self-sufficiency and perhaps the surprise. I just don't want her to set a precedent where she relates gifts to love or is expecting Louis Vuitton bags at 12 because she got Toystory 3 when she was little.
Without getting into too much detail beyond the scope of the question, we do a lot of activities. Many more than the average family. There are many websites that list childrens' activities in our area and I have at least one planned for each day. She's been to all the museums, petted all the animals, done train rides, boat rides, several libraries, pumpkin patch, swam in all the pools, been in the planetarium etc. So with regard to that I think we're far ahead of the curve.
She loves to color. Although staying in the lines isn't a facet of her artistic style. Printing out free coloring sheets is definitely a good idea. I don't feed her McDonald's. We're very diet conscious. With regard to job training, I'm trained about as highly as you can get as far as degrees go and published in my field. While I did have it rough growing up, been homeless etc. That's not our situation now. We're not in Malibu, but she's a baby and frankly there are still a plethora of cultural activities for kids a short cab ride away. I run several businesses. I just don't make a killing doing it. I've been applying to traditional jobs for a couple of years now with no luck it's really rough. I've had maybe 3 interviews out of about 250 applications. And then the second round of applications and then dead air. So I do the businesses to make ends meet.
Also I have her more than the weekend (because running my own businesses gives me the opportunity to stay at home with her more often). I don't rent out an office space. So I'm saving money there and I'm generally with her several days a week. Most museum memberships etc. are relatively inexpensive. With regard to the essentials her mom and I do those separately. While we share, and it's not a volatile situation between us, she has everything at my house that she has over there. (Even though I'm technically paying for it twice by providing the support and then still buying the goods that support 23is supposed to cover). Her needs aren't met there and this is the wild kingdom. Her needs are equally met in both homes and if she's experiencing an equal amount of education/cultural experience in her other home that would be miraculous. With regard to support I pay much more than the average father of one child. I voluntary pay what most states order for multiple children. Of course kids are very expensive so I recognize even that can't be covering it all. But I pay a hefty support and am glad to. I also contribute to her daycare on days she's not with me. Additionally her mother's side is very wealthy and caring, so she's not in a situation where she's foregoing basic necessities. She's taken care of on both ends.
We just live in a place I wouldn't dare let her go to public elementary school. So we'll be moving before then.
I understand what you're saying about the $1040 and that's something to consider. But $1040 won't get you an English Basement in my zip code (gentrification). Let alone the areas I'd like to move to. And, unfortunately I'm spending a lot more than that annually. But you're right. You can never go wrong by saving.
My question was more-so is there something mentally unhealthy about all the purchases and constant gift giving (not as in me being crazy for doing it) but is it damaging to her? Out of the gifts a few are building sets but most are books and DVD's. I'd say she has an extensive vocabulary for her age full sentences, can count to 20 etc. She can identify shapes, animals, letters, numbers, although she's not reading yet. I think she's doing pretty good for a 2 year old and I attribute a lot of that to these books, DVD's and just being around and putting in the time.
Maybe my initial post gave a poor impression that I'm struggling to feed her chicken nuggets and can't afford to keep decent shoes on her feet whilst "blowing money" on these gifts. That's not the case.
My question is, is there a negative psychological impact to her for always coming over to a couple new items? Or, is it okay to provide what you can for your child? I don't want an entitled, spoiled brat, with a consumerist complex. But past purchases are a part of the reason she does know her ABC's, colors, shapes, animals, etc. on a Kindergartener's level at 2. So I wouldn't really want to cut those out, but is too much?
You have to consider whats more important to you. If you really don't want a spoilt consumerist brat (which she won't necessarily become getting gifts all the time of course but it does increase the chances) or you would rather she learn things a couple years earlier (which won't make a difference to her intelligence/educational achievement in the long run).
You have to consider whats more important to you. If you really don't want a spoilt consumerist brat (which she won't necessarily become getting gifts all the time of course but it does increase the chances) or you would rather she learn things a couple years earlier (which won't make a difference to her intelligence/educational achievement in the long run).
I absolutely see both points.
I mean if she gets to Kindergarten and needs to skip it and go to First Grade does that ensure that she'll become Secretary of State or a neuro-surgeon? Probably not. But I do think fostering/encouraging curiousity/love of learning early on could pay life long dividends.
I was just wondering if anyone would offer that the behavior is actually potentially damaging.
I mean if she gets to Kindergarten and needs to skip it and go to First Grade does that ensure that she'll become Secretary of State or a neuro-surgeon? Probably not. But I do think fostering/encouraging curiousity/love of learning early on could pay life long dividends.
I was just wondering if anyone would offer that the behavior is actually potentially damaging.
Its more likely the fact that you are spending quality time with her doing plenty of activities that is helping her learn things early than the educational dvds etc.
Like I said, its potentially damaging but not necessarily so. At 2 years old I doubt its damaging but I think there is more a chance of it negatively effecting her if you continue giving gifts all the time as she gets older.
I just don't want her to set a precedent where she relates gifts to love or is expecting Louis Vuitton bags at 12 because she got Toystory 3 when she was little.
This is what you're setting her up for, and the fact that you are here asking about it indicates that deep down you know it.
You are conditioning her to expect something new every time she comes over. If you are worried it will be harmful, you need to phase it out.
Its more likely the fact that you are spending quality time with her doing plenty of activities that is helping her learn things early than the educational dvds etc.
Like I said, its potentially damaging but not necessarily so. At 2 years old I doubt its damaging but I think there is more a chance of it negatively effecting her if you continue giving gifts all the time as she gets older.
I could see that. I think the activities make her more "worldly." But the books/toys/DVD's have definitely helped with problem solving/vocabulary/numbers IMHO. If at 6 or 10 I'm getting her learning games designed for kids around that age I think that would be productive as well. I just don't want me getting her books or blocks to turn into dad I need this Hermes belt all the cool kids have one. Although the latter may be inevitable when she hits her teens no matter what I do now.
This is what you're setting her up for, and the fact that you are here asking about it indicates that deep down you know it.
You are conditioning her to expect something new every time she comes over. If you are worried it will be harmful, you need to phase it out.
No, I don't deep down "know it." It's something that occurred to me that may be the case, that's why I posed the question, because I could very well be very off-base. I think it may phase itself out as she grows older and doesn't want to do the things I'd require her to do for the privilege of receiving certain gifts. You want a copy of Catcher in the Rye fine, that's on me. You want some silly fashion fad item, cut the grass, take out the trash, do the dishes & laundry, write me a book report on Catcher in the Rye and I'll think about it.
I think it may phase itself out as she grows older and doesn't want to do the things I'd require her to do for the privilege of receiving certain gifts. You want a copy of Catcher in the Rye fine, that's on me. You want some silly fashion fad item, cut the grass, take out the trash, do the dishes & laundry, write me a book report on Catcher in the Rye and I'll think about it.
This could backfire and cause her to become MORE fascinated with the "forbidden" item. If you place a "premium" on an item you deem to be less worthy, it will immediately become MORE important to her.
Too many toys certainly can be harmful socially and developmentally, especially for toddlers. It can shorten their attention spans. They rarely focus because there is always "another" option coming along.
It can cause them to not take care of their "stuff" because something new is always coming.
It can cause them to judge people based on "what they gave me."
Lots of potenetial itfalls.
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