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very interesting article which mentions some good resources about boys and their feelings and why we should not discourage boys from expressing all their feelings and even letting them...gasp...cry.
All this needs to start very early but any conversation with your boy about the importance of not keeping it all bottled up inside is a good step.
I grew up with a father who had no trouble expressing anger but that was the only emotion he ever showed and I was determined to do just the opposite with my own children. I'm especially proud of the closeness my 30 year old son and I share.
I teach our sons that it is good to express your feelings. This doesn't always mean crying, but it's ok to show vulnerability or uncertainty. I think too many boys are taught to keep a stiff upper lip. I never understood why the males of our species were EVER taught to "hold it all in".
I think it is perfectly fine for boys to cry but I disagree with the scenario in the article completely.
I do not care if you are a boy or a girl, crying in the middle of a game is just poor sportsmanship. The same way yelling, cursing, etc. would be. Expressing your sadness in other ways or cry if you need to when it is over but I have told my daughter the same thing, crying during the game can ruin team morale. Everyone, male of female, has a responsibility to the team to keep their head in the game, especially by the time they are teenagers.
Like IKB, I have no problem with boys crying over something deserving of tears. A strikeout during a baseball game is not one of those times. Team sports depend on the resiliency of the players. If they fall apart over a play gone wrong, they are focusing on themselves, not the team.
I had one very competitive baseball player in my house. He wouldn't cry, he would get angry. I had to tell him at a very young age I wouldn't let him play any more unless he could handle his emotions better.
We never discouraged tears in this house though. Even DH has been known to tear up at times.
Um. Crying (boy or girl) is for some deep hurt or death or something like that.
Not for a sporting event. As an ex-athlete, I can say that there are times of great disappointment, foul-ups, humiliation, embarrassment...but the character building opportunity there is to buck up and stand strong despite this.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I grew up with in old school Southern home where I got yelled at for being too sensitive. With that turned into me keeping it in until a breaking point where I acted up and cried which was often at school which caused more trouble more me.
Of course, there were no restrictions on real sad events. For instance both grandparents on mom's side died during my HS years in 9th and 11th grades. And my dad moved away and let me down on a few occasions where he said he was coming to see me.
I think if we allow boys to express their emotions a little more, it won't manifest in some other negative way later.
Like IKB, I have no problem with boys crying over something deserving of tears. A strikeout during a baseball game is not one of those times. Team sports depend on the resiliency of the players. If they fall apart over a play gone wrong, they are focusing on themselves, not the team.
I had one very competitive baseball player in my house. He wouldn't cry, he would get angry. I had to tell him at a very young age I wouldn't let him play any more unless he could handle his emotions better.
We never discouraged tears in this house though. Even DH has been known to tear up at times.
I think it is perfectly fine for boys to cry but I disagree with the scenario in the article completely.
I do not care if you are a boy or a girl, crying in the middle of a game is just poor sportsmanship. The same way yelling, cursing, etc. would be. Expressing your sadness in other ways or cry if you need to when it is over but I have told my daughter the same thing, crying during the game can ruin team morale. Everyone, male of female, has a responsibility to the team to keep their head in the game, especially by the time they are teenagers.
I agree, there is the time and place for crying, for both genders.
I've known some college aged males to cry in the workplace, over totally non cry-worthy scenarios...not a good way to make a good impression.
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