Telling kids to say hi to strangers? (teaching, infants, toddler)

[LovelySummer]

Everyone, what do you do when adult strangers talk to your little ones and the little ones look at you? Do you tell the adult ur teaching little Johnny not to speak to strangers, do you tell little Johnny to say hi?This is awkward for me. I dont want to rebuff a perfectly nice person but at the same time, it seems should we teach our kiids to essentially talk to strangers? How do you handle this situation? Our little guy is still a toddler.

[twoincomes]

The Bernstein Bears book "Don't talk to strangers" explains it well, in my opinion. If you're toddler likes books, I'd suggest getting this one (or checking out from library) and reading it to him/her.

Essentially, as an adult we pick and choose which strangers we talk to. Strangers that we are acquainted with in some fashion (co-workers that we haven't met for example) we gladly talk to, while others (panhandlers) we avoid speaking with.

[stan4]

Um...he is 20 months old and fist bumps total strangers all the time.

We are here.
It is cool.

Not worried about it.

[kygman]

Here where I live, I say hello to most people and, when driving, will give a little wave to drivers going the opposite direction, whether I know them or not. Just the way I learned. It's one thing to say hello and wave, but for the youngsters, unless you're with them, they shouldn't start talking to someone they don't know, unless they can tell you know them.
I kind of agree with stan4.

[EvilCookie]

My 3,5 year old says hi to random strangers all the time, and informs them of what he's doing and where he's going. We were at a lake resort and he'd come up to people on the beach and tell them his name, age, and our suite number, lol. My dad told me to make sure he never sees our credit card numbers! I'm not too worried about it at this point - we try to teach him what's appropriate to tell strangers and what isn't but I don't want to discourage him from being friendly and outgoing. It's not a concern right now because it'll be a while until he's ready to be somewhere without adult supervision; sometime before that point I'll start teaching him to be careful around strangers.

[Mightyqueen801]

I don't think I ever worried about this. I do think parents have to take things a little further than "don't talk to strangers", if they're going to go that route.

I was kind of annoyed one time when I visited a friend at her apartment complex. She'd mentioned a little neighbor girl named Katie who played with her son. The kids were around six. We were walking across the common area, and this little girl was playing in the grass, and my friend said, "Hi, Katie." Katie looked up and said hello to her, and my friend said, "This is my friend, Mighty Queen." I said, "Hello, Katie", but she just looked back down at whatever she was playing with and ignored me.

I said to my friend as we walked away, "Well, I guess no one has taught HER any manners. She didn't even respond to me." My friend said, "Well, she's been taught not to speak to strangers." C'mon. I'm there with and being introduced by an adult she knows. By that age, I think she should have been taught something a little more progressive than "don't speak to strangers".

[Natsku]

If a stranger says hi to my 2 year old I tell her to say hi back. She doesn't do it though because she's scared of strangers (whats worse and rather embarrassing is that she is absolutely terrified of black people as she's not use to seeing them so when one says hello to her she starts screaming for help, wish that phase would pass soon!).
I won't be teaching her to not talk to strangers, thats not the right thing to teach as sometimes she will need to talk to them (like if she gets lost) and I don't want her to be scared of asking for help.

[wino8660]

You won't encounter that much. We avoided guys walking down the road with wild hair and an axe or strange looking men with trench coats. I told my kids don't go anywhere with strangers and if they were walking along side the road and someone stopped to haul arse.

[Oleg Bach]

I love children and have raised four of my own- If I see a mother with a beautiful child...you have to use good judgement and figure out quickly if the mother is intelligent...and also has good human judgement. Infants you can talk to and make faces at - and get them to laugh or smile....once a child gets a little older it seems that parents are more on guard...People should be able to enjoy people...mothers can usually tell who is a "creepy" stranger and who is not...Fathers are more protective and suspicious .

To teach your children that all strangers are all evil...is not a good thing....teach them to learn to judge..through example... The other day at the butcher shop I spoke to a couple of mothers with their infants and the mother said "say hello to the nice man" - The kid can learn through experience and through observation and example - how to judge...You can not fool a kid if you are a creep regardless.

It's just a shame that the days of people communicating with others of all ages is now restricted through fear are gone.

[no kudzu]

I can't imagine any situation where a young kid would be alone to talk to a stranger. I always kept my eye on my kids when shopping, eating, playing and they were never away from either parents ability to be right there if need be. Also more harm comes to kids from family members than strangers.

In the South it is very common to speak to somebody in a line at a post office, buffet, waiting for transportation, etc. We are a friendly bunch. I know this doesn't happen in other parts of the country and some transplants here are uncomfortable at first with strangers striking up conversations in public places.

My son was especially outgoing. He never met a stranger and I have to say I didn't discourage him. Once we were walking in a mall when a couple of ladies came by with an elderly woman in a wheelchair. This was his first time seeing a wheelchair and he was fascinated. He pulled me over to them and we started chatting. The ladies were very gracious and let him touch it and they explained to him what it was and why their mother and grandmother was in it. The older lady was beaming as she talked to my 2 year old tow headed son. I saw her reaching for him just to touch him and he was very receptive to that. I judged at the time that it would be OK to ask her if she would like him to sit in her lap. I asked him if he wanted to sit in her lap and go a bit with her in the chair. They both were so overjoyed to share that moment.

The lady told me her mother had been very depressed since moving in assisted living and this was her first trip out of the place. She thanked me over and over again for letting my son sit with her mother and that it did her mother a world of good. We never know how a greeting from a stranger can improve the day and outlook of somebody.