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Yes, under strict guidlines. IE: 30 minutes of TV and 30 min of screen play (DS, Wii, or tablet) and ONLY after homework, shower and dinner is done. Most nights she doesn't have time for any of it. She is in karate until 5:30 and has to do what i just listed above and be in bed by 7:30. So yes... she does.
I agree MIL should have asked but she didnt and it is purchased. I can put the same limits on this, I just have an issue with being able to say she has an ipad at 8. But apparently there aren't many people who feel the way I do about that. So... it might just be me
Does she get up very early? That's an incredibly early bedtime for a 8 year old.
I agree with your concerns about the Ipad. My MIL often wants to buy technology gifts for our kids. In fact, much of the technology we have in the house was bought by her. I resisted at first, and then I let my guard down, and the gifts came. There are times that having a gizmo can make parenting easier, like when you are on a long car ride. However, in other cases, I think it is too easy for kids to get drawn into these passive electronic devices and want to sit there for extended periods of time rather than doing something more active. It is a pain to try to keep on top of this as well. There are times when I'll suddenly realize my 7-year-old has been staring at the Ipad for too long, doing those wonderful games where all you seem to do is swipe your finger back and forth. It is frankly too easy to be lazy when you have access to so many electronics, and if you are busy and your child is being quiet, it may not dawn on you that the kid is getting too much electronic time.
Putting limits on a device may work, but if you have other devices, they want to just go from one to the other. This can create a parenting headache that would not happen if all these options were not available. I am happier when the electronic devices are away and my kids pick more creative or active options. Controlling this can be tricky because my oldest child in particular now legitimately uses the Ipad and sometimes other devices for homework. Therefore, locking them away is not always the best option.
Luckily my kids have retained some sort of balance most of the time. They are not addicted to video games like many boys in particular seem to be. Overall, I don't see most of the electronic devices though really enhancing their lives much. The electronic devices I don't mind are the XBox Kinect since those games are active and the Nook for the most part since my daughter who has it reads a ton of books and she uses the Nook for much of her reading. I also have heavy parent controls on the Nook that almost entirely limit her ability to go on the internet etc. We can't really do that with the Ipad because of homework needs. Therefore, outside of homework time, the Ipad is just a distraction. My kids don't use it for anything productive.
Agreed and I'm sorry this is happening to your thread
Can you give us an update on where your husband currently stands on the issue?
Did he like the idea of getting his mother to make this a "family gift" instead?
Thanks, loves. Husband and I spoke and he will talk to her. I told him he can present the issue being about DD behavior, not about the present itself. Ex: "Mom, we've been having a hard time with DD behavior, obeying our electronics rules, tantrums for not getting her way and maturity for what she can/cant access. She's been dl apps without asking, even though so far they've been safe. We're concerned that the iPad will create the idea that its hers to do with, even if we control it." My concern is how he will present it. He says hes on board but I can see he isnt 100%, so I'm afraid how it will come off to her. He isn't good with words, never has been great and mix in his desire to not disappoint her, She will know something is up and directly ask if its me causing the controversy. I'm ok talking to her myself but he says he wants to.
Thanks, loves. Husband and I spoke and he will talk to her. I told him he can present the issue being about DD behavior, not about the present itself. Ex: "Mom, we've been having a hard time with DD behavior, obeying our electronics rules, tantrums for not getting her way and maturity for what she can/cant access. She's been dl apps without asking, even though so far they've been safe. We're concerned that the iPad will create the idea that its hers to do with, even if we control it." My concern is how he will present it. He says hes on board but I can see he isnt 100%, so I'm afraid how it will come off to her. He isn't good with words, never has been great and mix in his desire to not disappoint her, She will know something is up and directly ask if its me causing the controversy. I'm ok talking to her myself but he says he wants to.
Good luck and hope it works out. You can also give him an "out" and blame the ADHD too.
Good luck and hope it works out. You can also give him an "out" and blame the ADHD too.
I think thats what all the above issues are, but if its not spelled out for her she wont even have a clue what he means. They both fail at communication. He has gotten a lot better though.
I think thats what all the above issues are, but if its not spelled out for her she wont even have a clue what he means. They both fail at communication. He has gotten a lot better though.
Which is why I gave the suggestion of using the phrase ADHD. It funny how others communicate. What's so obvious to you and me can be completely missed by others. I will listen to my husband say something and it sounds so complicated and convoluted, I will point out later why didn't you just say it this way with one sentence. And his eyes will go wide and say, "Oh I didn't think of it that way." LOL My mom is the same exact way. I joke with her that I don't know how she got along without me all those years when I wasn't born.
The kid can "own" an Ipad and you still place restrictions on it's use. Take it away from her if it causes issues.
Take off the internet access if that is the issue. Our daughter has an older Ipad and it is not an issue. We have no internet on it, and she must use it in our presence. No big deal.
Let grandma give it to her. That's a grandparent's job.
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. And she can only use it when other people aren't using it?
