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Wow. What a self-centered thing to say. Your parents raised you, fed you, clothed you, wiped your a**, stayed up all night with you when you were sick, educated you, went to your baseball games, helped you with your homework, taught you to ride a bike, and the list goes on and on and on.
Now, true to form, this is where half a dozen posters will start to gin up all these outrages in order to justify their self-centeredness. As in:
"Why my parents never fed me. When I was two, I lived off Rice Krispies that I picked up off the kitchen floor and had to change my own diapers. I was fed a steady died of ground glass and arsenic while the parents took terms beating me with unyielding metal objects. My father never called me by my name, but rather just called me by the nickname Ugly. They would leave me for days at a time with 38 cents to buy groceries at age seven and actually forgot to pick me up from school once for six weeks, where I lived off what I could scrounge in the cafeteria."
When my Dad dropped dead, I worked a second job to support my mom until she could get back on her feet. Just handed her the check. And while I don't have to do it now, if my eighty-year-old mother needed money, you bet your sweet ass I'd stroke her a check. Because she's my damn mother, that's why.
Mind you, I'm well-off now, so my kids will almost certainly never have to support me. And I would live in a cardboard refrigerator carton under the interstate before I'd ask. But we've taught them that family is supremely important. And a person who is not loyal to his own family, then he isn't loyal to anyone.
Back when my son was growing up and working so hard and we pushed him for success because we saw a special talent in him, we always said once you are an adult and are a millionaire, you can support your Mom and Dad.
Now that boy is a man and is in fact a millionaire. We would like to believe that part of his success is a result of us pushing him to succeed. So we are in part responsible for his success.
Is it his responsibility to send us money now we don't work anymore and no employer will hire my wife and I- too old?
Your threads are getting more and more bizarre and unbelievable.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,585 posts, read 81,206,701 times
Reputation: 57821
We have always done our best to provide the best possible opportunities for our kids to do better than we did. When that happens and they end up financially secure (or rich) we will be happy for them. it would be irresponsible of us to retire early with a limited income and sponge off of them. That's one reason we have had long term care insurance for many years so that if/when we require home care or a rest home they won't have to pay for it. Unexpected things do happen, and I'd like to think that if something happened along the way the kids who were able would help out, but they don't owe us anything financially.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Wow. What a self-centered thing to say. Your parents raised you, fed you, clothed you, wiped your a**, stayed up all night with you when you were sick, educated you, went to your baseball games, helped you with your homework, taught you to ride a bike, and the list goes on and on and on.
Now, true to form, this is where half a dozen posters will start to gin up all these outrages in order to justify their self-centeredness. As in:
"Why my parents never fed me. When I was two, I lived off Rice Krispies that I picked up off the kitchen floor and had to change my own diapers. I was fed a steady died of ground glass and arsenic while the parents took terms beating me with unyielding metal objects. My father never called me by my name, but rather just called me by the nickname Ugly. They would leave me for days at a time with 38 cents to buy groceries at age seven and actually forgot to pick me up from school once for six weeks, where I lived off what I could scrounge in the cafeteria."
When my Dad dropped dead, I worked a second job to support my mom until she could get back on her feet. Just handed her the check. And while I don't have to do it now, if my eighty-year-old mother needed money, you bet your sweet ass I'd stroke her a check. Because she's my damn mother, that's why.
Mind you, I'm well-off now, so my kids will almost certainly never have to support me. And I would live in a cardboard refrigerator carton under the interstate before I'd ask. But we've taught them that family is supremely important. And a person who is not loyal to his own family, then he isn't loyal to anyone.
If I become rich, I don't OWE my mother a dime. However, because she was there when no one else was I'll make sure she never has another car note or mortgage she needs to pay again. Now if my father were still alive and I were rich, I would not give him a quarter for a parking meter. Since he did not invest much of his time into being my father, why would I invest a dime into making sure he is taken care of?
This idea that kids OWE parents anything is foolish. Your parents raised you because that is what they are SUPPOSED to do since they decided to bring you into the world. If you were a decent parent, your kids will WANT to make sure you were taken care of. But, by no means are you entitled to have your kids take care of you.
You may have pushed your son but you didn't make him successful - that was his accomplishment. There are plenty of parents that give their kids everything and they still never amount to anything.
YOU chose to be a parent, which means he is YOUR responsibility, not the other way around. It's time to push yourselves to become more successful (see how much that helps) or live within your means and not expect to mooch off of him.
I would be horrified to ask or expect money from my child, but would be delighted if they treated me to anything.
I don't think anyone is saying that they wouldn't help a parent in need. I think we all would. What I have a problem with is the OP raising his child with the expectation that he would someday take care of him. The OP should have taken care of himself. A lot of people have fallen on hard times in the past few years, even people who planned well. It sounds to me like the only plan the OP made is sponging off his successful son. That's wrong IMO.
And a person who is not loyal to his own family, then he isn't loyal to anyone.
So..... Is the woman who was raped by her father when she was growing up supposed to remain loyal to family?
Though my guess is that woman, or any adult who survived a horrendous childhood, would be the first to tell the Loyalty Police to take a hike. Goodness knows I would.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
So..... Is the adult woman who was raped by her father when she was growing up supposed to remain loyal to family?
Though my guess is that woman, or any adult who survived a horrendous childhood, would be the first to tell the Loyalty Police to take a hike. Goodness knows I would.
Another fact that makes his statement flawed, we cannot choose our family we are born into. It is one thing to be loyal to a family you created. Quite another to choose to be loyal to a family that you were born into without a choice.
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