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For the past 2 weeks, there is this group of boys that keep bullying my daughter. I have called the school principal, and they said "we are looking into the matter. We will talk to the group of boys to get them to stop bullying your daughter." Within 2 weeks, my daughter and her friends said they did nothing at all. I emailed the school principal and school board. They said they "looked into the matter. We are trying to do all we can to get these boys to stop bullying your daughter." They wont do anything else. I would go into the school board, but I dont want to get into a fight and yell at them because when other parents went in, they got into a fight with the school superintendent.
Best solution is to threaten to pull your daughter from the school and cyber school her, and probably follow through with that threat as well. Other than that, only other recourse is to take legal action. Just remember the school is fully responsible for anything that happens to a student from the time they leave your door in the morning, to the time they get to where they are going in the afternoon.
I am sorry that this is happening to your daughter.
As a retired teacher, I can assure that most schools treat bullying very, very seriously.
However, due to confidentiality laws, the school probably can not share with you or with your daughter exactly what measures that have put into play. It is likely that they have discussed it with the boys and their parents, involved teachers and playground aides and probably have set up procedures (extra supervision, consequences, and notifications) that they are not allowed to tell you about. If it is serious they may have even contacted the police regarding this matter. Many parents would be surprised how often police are involved in situations at school, but since it is confidential, most parents assume that it rarely or never happens at their school.
How do you know that the school social worker, guidance counselor, school psychologist or school principal (or all four) did not talk to the boys and their parents? Or did not notify all of the playground aides and teachers to keep an extra close watch on the situation? Perhaps, some of the children may even have special needs or some type of special situations?
I have been in many situations, where as a teacher, I simply could not legally share information with a parent of a classmate. It may look like nothing is being done but itmay be just because the school can not tell you what they are doing.Sometimes, it was terribly frustrating because the school was doing many, many things regarding a certain problem but since it was "behind the scenes" it wasn't obvious to the other children and we couldn't tell the parents (of the other children).
Look at it this way, would you want the parents of your daughter's classmates be told private information about her medical needs or special educational needs or that she was visiting a psychiatrist to work on mental health needs? What if the school knows this about a bully, should they be forced to tell you those private things?
Talk to the teacher and principal again. Let them know that you aren't asking for private information but just want to make sure that they are taking this seriously. Be sure to get specific examples from adults who have observed the bullying.
BTW, what age is your daughter? Especially with elementary students much of the extra supervision, extra consequences, extra visits/discussing/planning with guidance counselors are done without the other students even being aware that it is happening.
If you give a few more details about the age of the students, what exactly is happening (name calling or physical) and when/where it is happening (in the classroom, during lunch, on the playground) readers may be able to give you more assistance.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-04-2014 at 09:23 PM..
Reason: Minor additions & modifications
1. Find out from your daughter exactly what kind of bullying is going on.
2. Look at your school's handbook and find out what the school policy on bullying is.
3. If this is happening during school hours, start with your dd's teacher first. Set up a face to face meeting with the teacher. Emails don't cut it. Don't yell. Stay calm and focused.
4. If the teacher cannot help, then set up a face to face meeting with the principal. Once again emails don't cut it. You have to actually talk to the principal.
5. At the meetings ask them for a plan to address the bullying. Take copious notes. Have them put the plan in writing. If they will not put it in writing, write up your notes about what they say they will do.
6. If there is no progress after a week, write to them and explain what you expect. If necessary, carbon copy the school board on any further correspondence. Ask for a return receipt for written correspondence and don't email, snail mail or drop it off in person and get a receipt.
7. Let them know you will take this further up the chain, perhaps even to the media if it is serious enough.
How is your daughter being bullied? Bullying is the hot buzz word that gets thrown around all the time (and too much) for...childhood foolishness. Children are going to be children. A little tomfoolery is to be expected.
Has there been any violence or something that would cause serious alarm? What have you taught your daughter in order to diffuse the situation?
it is sad that politically the schools cant do anything about bullying but when kids fight back they talk about the horrors of violence in the schools.
Option 1: Say this to the principal, "If my daughter does something to herself because of what these kids are doing to her, you can bet your retirement pension that we'll see each other in court."
Option 2: File harassment charges with each of these kids
Option 3: Find the school's "Student Handbook" and look up the rules against harassment. Mention to the principal that they haven't been following protocol; therefore, you request that they are expelled from the school.
I am sorry that this is happening to your daughter.
As a retired teacher, I can assure that most schools treat bullying very, very seriously.
However, due to confidentiality laws, the school probably can not share with you or with your daughter exactly what measures that have put into play. It is likely that they have discussed it with the boys and their parents, involved teachers and playground aides and probably have set up procedures (extra supervision, consequences, and notifications) that they are not allowed to tell you about. If it is serious they may have even contacted the police regarding this matter. Many parents would be surprised how often police are involved in situations at school, but since it is confidential, most parents assume that it rarely or never happens at their school.
How do you know that the school social worker, guidance counselor, school psychologist or school principal (or all four) did not talk to the boys and their parents? Or did not notify all of the playground aides and teachers to keep an extra close watch on the situation? Perhaps, some of the children may even have special needs or some type of special situations?
I have been in many situations, where as a teacher, I simply could not legally share information with a parent of a classmate. It may look like nothing is being done but itmay be just because the school can not tell you what they are doing.Sometimes, it was terribly frustrating because the school was doing many, many things regarding a certain problem but since it was "behind the scenes" it wasn't obvious to the other children and we couldn't tell the parents (of the other children).
Look at it this way, would you want the parents of your daughter's classmates be told private information about her medical needs or special educational needs or that she was visiting a psychiatrist to work on mental health needs? What if the school knows this about a bully, should they be forced to tell you those private things?
Talk to the teacher and principal again. Let them know that you aren't asking for private information but just want to make sure that they are taking this seriously. Be sure to get specific examples from adults who have observed the bullying.
BTW, what age is your daughter? Especially with elementary students much of the extra supervision, extra consequences, extra visits/discussing/planning with guidance counselors are done without the other students even being aware that it is happening.
If you give a few more details about the age of the students, what exactly is happening (name calling or physical) and when/where it is happening (in the classroom, during lunch, on the playground) readers may be able to give you more assistance.
My daughter is currently 12 turning 13 late Febuary. She is in the 7th grade and this group of boys is in the same grade. It mostly happens when the classes switch. The worst they have ever done was they pushed my daughter against a locker and punched her in the face. I checked my emails and at 2:46PM the school board sent me an email saying that they didn't have any proof of the bullying because they abuse her in the hall that dosent have a camera. They are having students go into the principals office and explain what is happening. So they are doing something. I requested that hallway get a camera. However, my daughter might get in trouble also because when they pushed my daughter against the locker, she slapped one of the boys in the face. Should I fight self-defense, or be passive?
1. Find out from your daughter exactly what kind of bullying is going on.
2. Look at your school's handbook and find out what the school policy on bullying is.
3. If this is happening during school hours, start with your dd's teacher first. Set up a face to face meeting with the teacher. Emails don't cut it. Don't yell. Stay calm and focused.
4. If the teacher cannot help, then set up a face to face meeting with the principal. Once again emails don't cut it. You have to actually talk to the principal.
5. At the meetings ask them for a plan to address the bullying. Take copious notes. Have them put the plan in writing. If they will not put it in writing, write up your notes about what they say they will do.
6. If there is no progress after a week, write to them and explain what you expect. If necessary, carbon copy the school board on any further correspondence. Ask for a return receipt for written correspondence and don't email, snail mail or drop it off in person and get a receipt.
7. Let them know you will take this further up the chain, perhaps even to the media if it is serious enough.
Excellent suggestions.
Please get specifics from your daughter. Find out exactly what was said and/or done to her. Was it said or done once? Once a day? Ten times a day? When? Where? Did her friends see/hear it? Do they say the same thing? Where was the teacher?
PS. OP just added additional information.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-04-2014 at 09:59 PM..
Reason: added PS
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