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Sigh. To the person who sent an anonymous rep telling me I shouldn't worry about the daughter being ostracized by her peers, I wonder if you have had a child in middle school. Being known as a tattle tale is the kiss of death. I have no issue with the girl defending herself, and I hope her friends circle around her in the hallway. Right now, she has those friends, but using the press to complain about bullying can change that in a heartbeat.
Several of the suggestions have been excellent, and I would follow the documentation, complaints to the administration, and making police reports where justified route.
A story in the newspaper will contain, at the least, the name of the child's parent. It isn't a leap to the child at that point.
Should other parents have similar complaints, then, yes, plaster them everywhere. In the meantime, don't make things tougher on the child by making it easy to figure out who is making the complaints.
AS parents you have to condition your kids NOT to be a squishy little marshmallow waiting to be stepped on!! TEACH your kids how to fight the good fight, and have pride and confidence in themselves!! Running to the school board, or the cops is NOT helping your kids! Take them out to the gym or garage and show them HOW to take care of business. The "other" kid is the one you want in the hospital, not your own.
I second teaching your kid to stand up for themselves. I remember back when i was in school we stood up for ourselves. Nowadays they teach everyone to turn the other cheek BS.
AS parents you have to condition your kids NOT to be a squishy little marshmallow waiting to be stepped on!! TEACH your kids how to fight the good fight, and have pride and confidence in themselves!! Running to the school board, or the cops is NOT helping your kids! Take them out to the gym or garage and show them HOW to take care of business. The "other" kid is the one you want in the hospital, not your own.
Um, you do know this thread is about a girl being picked on by 4 obnoxious rude boys. Right? If not stopped now..... you have a picture into the future rapists, animal abusers, bully or worse when they don't get their way with a woman, job, life or whatever. It is not the girls job to beat them and teach them a lesson. Now we see why many kids bullied kill themselves, many adults wimp out on solving or holding accountable. The US school system has become the new " its not my job" mentality or we need a camera proof of the violation.
By the way the reason for the school board suggestion of many is the fact they are RESPONSIBLE to the taxpayers for what goes on in the district. Yes it is true teachers, administrators, and school boards are responsible for the safety, and academics of their district. Taxpayers, students and parents deserve more then what they are getting in most cases. If you are in that position, hold them accountable end of story. Hold the bullies, their parents, and school district before the girl or others in the situation end up really hurt or dead. Look up how much this is happening in America, see how many kids are maimed, hurt or dead. Shocking to say the least but hey lets pick on the home school kids, or better yet how about picking on the kids bullied because they didn't take on the problem themselves. Good lord.
I strongly suspect we are not getting all the facts...
I am shocked at the number of people recommending "running away" from the problem by home schooling...
I am shocked at how passive aggressive many of you are...
I probably shouldn't be given the number of people who think that step one is to call the media and have them do the dirty work...
There are some situations that a kid can't deal with. They are situations that an adult would have trouble with also...how would you handle getting beat up by a group of men? I've taught my daughter how to fight off one person, but how would she handle a group? The only way I'd be able to fight off a group of attackers is with my gun, and obviously that is not a solution for school.
Maybe it varies, but here if your child defends herself, she's considered just as guilty as the person who started the fight. If it happens enough, your child will be considered a troublemaker and sent to alternative school. The only way not to get in trouble when you get in a fight in school is to stand there and let yourself be beaten.
Home school is not running away, it's not being too lazy to solve the problem...you'd be amazed at how much work it is sometimes. But it's amazing to see how much your kids can learn when they're not worried about being beaten up or groped.
...and she wants to know why 2.5 year olds are flipping her off on the playground...
Bingo. None of this touchy feely crap and relying on "higher authorities" to save the day. Teach your kid, boy or girl, how to rumble and deal with verbal and online bullying as well. Teach them YOUNG, teach them before they even go to school. It starts by you not running to their aid when they're two and get pushed on the playground by a bigger kid. Life isn't fair, learn to deal.
Does this same logic apply to adults? If I got pushed into a wall and punched by a group of men at work, should I just handle it myself and not report to HR? Just curious.
Maybe it varies, but here if your child defends herself, she's considered just as guilty as the person who started the fight. If it happens enough, your child will be considered a troublemaker and sent to alternative school. The only way not to get in trouble when you get in a fight in school is to stand there and let yourself be beaten.
That's because the public school system has largely become an employment solution for idiots and/or the lazy. Who cares if some half brain-dead school administrator considers a child defending themselves to be just as guilty as the aggressor? It's important for kids to be taught to defend themselves because they can't count on anyone else to do so in the real world.
Um, you do know this thread is about a girl being picked on by 4 obnoxious rude boys. Right?
My experience being on a forum is that things that seem extreme are often being exaggerated and we are only hearing one side of the story. I sincerely doubt we have heard the entire story or even got an accurate telling of events.
As for kids defending themselves, it's a necessary component and it starts early in life. It's not victim blaming to point out that many of the current progressive attitudes and policies are what is creating the victims.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
There are some situations that a kid can't deal with. They are situations that an adult would have trouble with also...how would you handle getting beat up by a group of men? I've taught my daughter how to fight off one person, but how would she handle a group? The only way I'd be able to fight off a group of attackers is with my gun, and obviously that is not a solution for school.
Of course there are situations beyond control where you need to seek help. In this girls case, there is no reason why her parents shouldn't be in that school raising holy hell over what happened. They shouldn't be "looking at hallway maps" and debating calling the media or home schooling. It's the passive aggressive, cut and run attitude that just makes the problem worse.
Quote:
Maybe it varies, but here if your child defends herself, she's considered just as guilty as the person who started the fight. If it happens enough, your child will be considered a troublemaker and sent to alternative school. The only way not to get in trouble when you get in a fight in school is to stand there and let yourself be beaten.
Schools here have the same policy. I have always told my kids to ignore that policy. If they are phyiscally attacked, then I expect them to defend themselves. In return I will standby them and deal with the administrators, teachers, district, etc.
Quote:
Home school is not running away, it's not being too lazy to solve the problem...you'd be amazed at how much work it is sometimes. But it's amazing to see how much your kids can learn when they're not worried about being beaten up or groped.
It's running away if ones sole reason is a desire to avoid having to deal with a situation. I can see where it reaches a point when there is no other choice. However, that point is only reached after years of failing to address or learning to deal with the problem. Learning to deal with it starts young.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower
Does this same logic apply to adults? If I got pushed into a wall and punched by a group of men at work, should I just handle it myself and not report to HR? Just curious.
First, children are not adults, do not reason like adults and do not behave like adults. If I was 'assaulted' in work, my initial reaction would be to defend myself to the point of stopping the attack. After that I would contact HR and allow them to follow company protocol. If they did not take the matter seriously, then I would elevate it and contact the police to file charges.
This isn't much different then the school situation except for the people seemingly advocating against or claiming that kids are incapable of defending themselves.
Last edited by Jaded; 02-05-2014 at 11:16 PM..
Reason: Left relevant posts
That's because the public school system has largely become an employment solution for idiots and/or the lazy. Who cares if some half brain-dead school administrator considers a child defending themselves to be just as guilty as the aggressor? It's important for kids to be taught to defend themselves because they can't count on anyone else to do so in the real world.
The reason you don't want your child to be considered guilty of fighting is because you don't want them sent to alternative school where all the real troublemakers are.
My daughters can defend themselves, but it's not anything that can be used at school. We've taught them how to defend themselves against other kids, what to do if someone tries to grab them and carry them away, what to do if someone breaks in, etc. My older daughter can shoot every gun we own. But she didn't know how to stop the boys who kept squeezing her butt in the lunch line, or other unwanted physical contact. If she turned around and hit them, that would definitely catch a teacher's eye...but then the boy would deny his part in things and my daughter would probably be the only one who got in trouble.
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Now we see why many kids bullied kill themselves, many adults wimp out on solving or holding accountable. The US school system has become the new " its not my job" mentality or we need a camera proof of the violation.
