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Yep I agree with the poster who said to contact the local media tv , newspapers etc and make sure you dont mention any names and anything personal just make sure everyone knows that the school wont do anything after contacting them . You would be surprised when you embarass the local school district how fast they act . Good luck to you and if all else fails yes get her into some sort of maybe home school or cyber school .
Teach her to kick the boy in the groin when assaulted.
Bingo. And then when the school calls to tell you your daughter is getting suspended, laugh at them and tell them that your daughter will receive presents on each day of her suspension congratulating her for her good work.
Option 3: Find the school's "Student Handbook" and look up the rules against harassment. Mention to the principal that they haven't been following protocol; therefore, you request that they are expelled from the school.
Definitely do this one. Use their own policies when you can.
A hit in the face is serious.
My son was bullied for years this was 4th and 5th grade, but as far as I know it was never physical to this extreme. The principal did nothing and when I say did nothing I mean they sent my son and the bully to counseling separately.
Here are some things we did and some things I wish we had done. We went to lunch more and sat with him. We spoke to the Principal and let the counselor work with him on how to be more assertive. We sometimes spoke to the teacher and one time this really helped with one girl (who I personally witnessed) who was being mean and excluding him, giving him mean faces.
I wish I had a more outgoing personality and I could have some really good, strong (no cussing) words to the bullies when I went to lunch with my son. Words like "people bully because they are insecure about themselves, why are you so insecure, tell me? I just want to help."
I wish after my son's coat was slashed and left on the playground I had called the district office. I wish after only hearing that the other kids were getting counseling but they gave me no details of actual punishment I had gone above the Principal and spoke to someone again at the district level.
I wish the school had voluntarily spoken of options for my son for middle school and helped with ideas for transfers due to the bullying. I wish we had thought of it and got on that sooner.
I looked thoroughly at my son's schools discipline policies and I see where the problem is with so many school districts. They focus their policies on abstract cushy psychological theories rather than matter of fact principles.
It used to be if you did something wrong when I was a kid you would say talk to the other parents or make the kid apologizes in front of the other kids. I believe these things made children stop the behavior. It is embarrassing to have to apologize publicly and it lets you know your parents don’t approve of your bullying if they make you do it after hearing from another parent.
Where it all went bad was this idea that confidentiality is the most important goal and that every child responds to mild therapy which basically says "don't do this to another kid because it made the other kid feel bad". You can see the problem right there, unless the kid is being raised in a home to care they won't. This type of psychology is great among 5 year olds and it works then but in current 4th grade classes when some 4th graders are emulating 7th graders and skipping school-you have made a terribly ineffective policy.
A bully kid can stuff that down and just smile inside and say "yes I feel bad" and then give another kid a high 5 for getting off so easy.
Our situation ended by my son leaving public school at least for the time being. I wish Austin’s public schools got their ethics, morals and standards back, I guess some never changed maybe. I hear it is hit or miss some schools better than others.
The scenario they laid down with that inability to deal with the discipline issues earlier created a scenario where if my son had gone to his slated middle school I think he would have been done in possibly by his own bad self image.
This is the sad fact of our situation. I do see change though, the past couple years as anti-bully campaigns are growing. Celebrities are coming forward to talk about bullying. My son's former school got a new principal and I like to think it might be partly because of a letter I wrote to the district telling them about 2 and half years of ineffective dealing.
I have looked at some other states school discipline policy and by memory Colorado had a good one. We have to get away from airy fairy bull**** Psych models created by some Ahole who wants to be a Psych Star and use what works and ties into all human behavior.
One consolation I ran into one of my son's bullies one year after he left the school taking my son to the school playground. Being a nice person I said hi to him attempting to wipe the slate clean, hoping he might speak to my son, I naively thought they could maybe be friends. He sent a messenger, his little cousin on the playground to my son with a middle finger sticking out saying this is from me. Mama bear came out from my pent up anger from 2.5 years of lip service and that kid got the verbal public humiliation of a lifetime.
I wish you all luck with this. Yes many have had good ideas. Taking martial arts is always good too. Changing her route is good. Not being too nice as a parent is important, nice people are ignored, we were nice people.
This is the reason we started home schooling over 12 years ago. Our pediatrician suggested that we sue the school district. We didn't .. maybe we should have. The school systems should be held accountable.
For the past 2 weeks, there is this group of boys that keep bullying my daughter. I have called the school principal, and they said "we are looking into the matter. We will talk to the group of boys to get them to stop bullying your daughter." Within 2 weeks, my daughter and her friends said they did nothing at all. I emailed the school principal and school board. They said they "looked into the matter. We are trying to do all we can to get these boys to stop bullying your daughter." They wont do anything else. I would go into the school board, but I dont want to get into a fight and yell at them because when other parents went in, they got into a fight with the school superintendent.
Have your husband or S/O teach her how to DEFEND herself! Don't rely on the school to solve this, that's useless. Boys are afraid of being hurt by a girl, because A. the don't expect it and B. they won't admit it when it happens due to their ego. You did not mention her age, but this is the BEST thing you can do for her! Teach her how to go for the NOSE, the EYES, and the GROIN to inflict PAIN! Once she does this once, word will get out and they will leave her alone. Sure, the staff won't be happy, but it's NOT their kid right?
Are you insane? Your daughter is being beaten by males at school. Bigger, stronger males - these are not little boys. Get a lawyer, call the police when it happens, DO something when your daughter is assaulted. It's could be a prelude to sexual assault at that age, too. Have a friend video the incident. Get everything in writing - do not just make some half hearted phone calls. If they call you, respond in writing with a summary of what was said. Go to the school in person and talk to the principal. Document every single thing and take action - school administrators are often only interested in making sure they have plausible deniability. Don't let them.
When I was a teacher I saw so many instances of unchecked bullying, of teacher abuse, of sexual assault, and every time the parent did nothing besides, at best, speak quietly to the principal. I never understood it. You better believe the bullies' parents were in their yelling and screaming if anything happened to their kids.
Amen. I'm reading her story and thinking that if some boys had pushed my daughter into a locker and punched her in the face and the school didn't do anything about it, I'd be visiting those boys myself.
I wish I had a more outgoing personality and I could have some really good, strong (no cussing) words to the bullies when I went to lunch with my son. Words like "people bully because they are insecure about themselves, why are you so insecure, tell me? I just want to help."
Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see how these are "really good, strong" words.
I strongly suspect we are not getting all the facts...
I am shocked at the number of people recommending "running away" from the problem by home schooling...
I am shocked at how passive aggressive many of you are...
I probably shouldn't be given the number of people who think that step one is to call the media and have them do the dirty work...
I agree. Children need to fight their own battles. My tactic as a teenager, was to single out the bullies in the bathroom, because that's when they're vulnerable and NOBODY likes getting their head stuffed in the toilet!
I wish I had a more outgoing personality and I could have some really good, strong (no cussing) words to the bullies when I went to lunch with my son. Words like "people bully because they are insecure about themselves, why are you so insecure, tell me? I just want to help."
Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see how these are "really good, strong" words.
...and she wants to know why 2.5 year olds are flipping her off on the playground...
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwest61021
I agree. Children need to fight their own battles. My tactic as a teenager, was to single out the bullies in the bathroom, because that's when they're vulnerable and NOBODY likes getting their head stuffed in the toilet!
Bingo. None of this touchy feely crap and relying on "higher authorities" to save the day. Teach your kid, boy or girl, how to rumble and deal with verbal and online bullying as well. Teach them YOUNG, teach them before they even go to school. It starts by you not running to their aid when they're two and get pushed on the playground by a bigger kid. Life isn't fair, learn to deal.
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