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I went through this with my son, really picky. To the point of eating the same lunch every day for five years.
1. He would eat anything and everything. Suddenly he started to stop eating certain foods. I let him guide me (mistake!)
2. I started to add a new food on his plate every day for a couple of weeks. He started to pick up the new food after a couple of weeks and eat it. (this was saving grace). I didn't keep it up, really wish I would have.
Hind site is 20/20. If I had it to do over again!
-Feed your daughter a certain meal. If she doesn't eat it, let her be hungry. She'll eventually eat. This is very hard, but worked for many, many friends.
-Try the adding a new food (same food every day) for every meal. This is a trick that really works to add new foods to the diet!
My son is now a teenager and has expanded his selections a bit. However, it is really challenging going on vacations or out to eat with him. Now since he is older, if he is hungry, too bad. We went on a cruise and the kid literally ate an apple or a roll a day and that was it.
It's much easier when they are younger to teach them how to eat healthy.
I'm happy this approach worked for you, but I assure you, many children do not naturally outgrow pickiness.
Sadly, that is true. I know this is just one example, but my oldest brother (the first of 4 children in my family) started being very picky around age 2. My mother followed the doctor's advice to not make a big deal out of it, to feed him only what he liked. Bad advice in his case. My brother is now 56 years old, and it's far easier to list what he WILL eat rather than what he won't. He eats PBJ, cornflakes, mashed potatoes, applesauce, bananas, and cheese pizza. And some desserts of course (cake, cookies, ice cream). NO meats whatsoever, NO vegetables, no fruits other than what I mentioned, only white bread.
I honestly don't know how he has stayed alive this long.
Mother's tolerance for pickiness went to zero with her other three children. Yes, we three had to eat whatever she served, brussel sprouts, sauer kraut, you name it, while oldest ate PBJ every meal. Created quite a bit of resentment toward the oldest during our childhood years, but we finally got over it. Glad I'm not him now.
I just see the conversation about "making" kids eat things as astonishing...I don't think non-picky people will ever really get it. And I guess since most people aren't that picky, it's not a big thing to you or your kids who hopefully don't have whatever issue it is that causes picky eating. I am thoroughly convinced that it's something physiological or neurological, it's NOT just a battle of stubborn wills or a prissy child putting their nose in the air or trying to get a sugary snack instead. It's not about being full of soda or hungry or not hungry.
As a kid I very clearly remember the adults in my life who felt the way most people do about this. I remember sitting for literally hours at a table alone, staring at food long gone cold and crusty, knowing that the last bite I forced down made me gag until I nearly vomited, and crying because no one understood that while I was hungry, I simply could not make myself like this food. Inevitably the adults would get tired of watching me like a hawk and I would sneak to a trash can and bury the food under other trash where it couldn't be seen and then pretend I'd eaten it. I was hungry, and I went hungry. It wasn't because I had filled up on soda or juice or snacks. The bug analogy is the best way I know how to explain it to normal people. Really, think about those big squirmy yellow grubs you've seen the survival show people eat. You know it won't kill you. How hungry exactly would you need to be, before you ate one? I'd need to be starving, and frankly I think any parent who starves a kid to that extreme, is committing an act of child cruelty. And that's how I feel about:
-most fruits
-most vegetables, especially onions and green leafy veg
-all condiments
-rich foods
-spicy foods
-nuts and seeds
-unflavored or low fat milk (whole milk after cereal is fine, even Cheerios give it an acceptable taste.)
-all forms of seafood
-wheat bread (because of the little grainy bits)
And yet I can find something to eat most anywhere I go, if we're talking about eating out anyways. I might commit the faux pas of ordering a steak at a seafood restaurant, but I rarely go without. The only time it's problematic is going to meals at a friend's house. Most of the time as an adult I'm able to tactfully ask ahead of time what's being served, and then I know whether to eat before I go or not. If this happens, and I arrive deliberately un-hungry, I plead some BS excuse like a big lunch with coworkers or digestive upset and apologize and maybe nibble some bread or something if it's available and sip some water. I assure my host that it's me and not them, which is nothing but the truth, and still complement them on how lovely it looks and smells.
Like anything, it's something I've adapted to live with.
My husband accuses me of having "made" our younger son a picky eater because of how I am, but I just am not sure that's possible. My older son isn't picky and tries even weird and unusual food items (like when we went to a Brazilian Grill and he tried the quail eggs and chicken hearts.) My younger son however is very picky. Yet there are things he likes that I don't and vice versa. I have flatly refused to engage in food battles with either of them. During the years where they didn't eat much, they always had carte blanche access to some other food options...cheese, crackers, bread, peanut butter, fruit, etc. I'm not insulted if they prefer that over what I have cooked, but I also have no special love of cooking and no emotional investment in whether anyone loves it or not.
Long story short I simply never felt that I had a choice as to whether to be a picky eater or not. If I had ever felt that it was a simple matter of choosing not to be, I would have chosen not to be. I'd love to know if there is any measurable scientific basis for this.
Also worth mentioning: Although family members on both sides are heavy, I am slim and healthy and so are my sons. And we do take multivitamins.
I just see the conversation about "making" kids eat things as astonishing...I don't think non-picky people will ever really get it. And I guess since most people aren't that picky, it's not a big thing to you or your kids who hopefully don't have whatever issue it is that causes picky eating. I am thoroughly convinced that it's something physiological or neurological, it's NOT just a battle of stubborn wills or a prissy child putting their nose in the air or trying to get a sugary snack instead. It's not about being full of soda or hungry or not hungry.
As a kid I very clearly remember the adults in my life who felt the way most people do about this. I remember sitting for literally hours at a table alone, staring at food long gone cold and crusty, knowing that the last bite I forced down made me gag until I nearly vomited, and crying because no one understood that while I was hungry, I simply could not make myself like this food. Inevitably the adults would get tired of watching me like a hawk and I would sneak to a trash can and bury the food under other trash where it couldn't be seen and then pretend I'd eaten it. I was hungry, and I went hungry. It wasn't because I had filled up on soda or juice or snacks. The bug analogy is the best way I know how to explain it to normal people. Really, think about those big squirmy yellow grubs you've seen the survival show people eat. You know it won't kill you. How hungry exactly would you need to be, before you ate one? I'd need to be starving, and frankly I think any parent who starves a kid to that extreme.
Sorry I disagree. I am very picky so I fully understand. It had a lot to do with my parents not having me try new foods. We used to eat fish, one day my sister said she hated it and my mom never cooked it again. Now I can't stand seafood.
It isn't cruel to have children eat healthy foods, and not cook something special just for them. Absolutely there are exceptions to this if a child has sensory issues to food.
Sorry I disagree. I am very picky so I fully understand. It had a lot to do with my parents not having me try new foods. We used to eat fish, one day my sister said she hated it and my mom never cooked it again. Now I can't stand seafood.
It isn't cruel to have children eat healthy foods, and not cook something special just for them. Absolutely there are exceptions to this if a child has sensory issues to food.
*nods* I don't cook anything special just for them. If they don't eat what I make, they make their OWN something else. I've been teaching and encouraging them to learn how to prepare various food items and get their own food since they were little. And I do still make them taste things. Even I will taste new things sometimes, and have discovered new foods that I like on (rare) occasion. I always say, "Try one bite." And they need to not be dramatic about it.
I didn't say that it was cruel to have kids eat healthy foods. I did however say that letting a kid get so hungry that they will eat anything you put in front of them or starve, is cruel to the extent that it applies to someone like me. It's viewing it more like a battle of wills than I think it ever should be seen. No kid should be at the extreme of eating anything to avoid starvation, not in America, not in a normal household.
Forget picky kids. How do I deal with picky adults?! I like to cook so I used to host the family dinners but I've virtually given up. Every one of the people in my family has so many things they absolutely won't eat, I can't keep track, let alone plan a complete meal. One won't eat fish, one won't eat pork, one won't eat anything that has a bone in it, one is gluten free (yet doesn't even understand what gluten is), one is a vegetarian who doesn't eat salad, one is a vegan but suddenly isn't at dessert time, one is on strict Weight Watchers but doesn't count her alcohol intake, one won't eat eggs, one won't eat anything that is "too cold," several won't eat nuts even though there is no medical evidence of an allergy, etc., etc.
Good luck getting this in hand. You'll be doing some cooks of the future a big favor.
I do the same thing as I always do, the invitations are sent with the menu, if you don't want to eat fine don't eat but you can still show up and no I will not be fixing anything else other than what is on the menu.
I always have a good selection of foods that are vegetarian friendly and gluten free and if I am serving pasta for guests I will keep two sauces, one with meat and one without or I will make meatballs and meatless sauce.
It does take extra planning but if invited guests want to come and visit without eating that is fine as well, there are always plenty of raw fruits, vegetables, cheese crackers and dips they can pick at if they want.
The very term "picky eater" sets my teeth on edge.
I will eat almost anything and try most things at least once, so it was a bit of a challenge initially to realize that my son is not a picky eater, but has genuine sensory processing issues that make certain foods that we enjoy as a family nauseating to him. Yes, he will gag and vomit with particular textured foods, and can't stand particular smells. He's not picky and fussy. He does in fact eat a huge variety of different and healthy foods, just not some particular ranges of foods.
I remember reading a blog post one day about a mother who felt guilt at forcing her child to eat tomatoes no matter how upset and resistant they were to it, only to find out that the child had an intolerance for nightshade foods. It wasn't easily and readily apparent initially so they didn't realize and thought their child was just being picky.
I think what parents need to come to terms with, is that there are millions of different things we can eat for sustenance, and rarely any one nutrient that can't be gotten from multiple sources of different food types. Nature is wonderful that way.
If your child hates milk and you're worried about their calcium intake, big deal? do they eat cheese, yogurt? Are they dairy intolerant to boot? Not a big deal. Google a list of calcium rich foods. You may be surprised at what you find. Blackstrap molasses for example contains more calcium than milk, and is also rich in iron and other trace minerals.
In most cases, as long as you are providing healthy foods, you need to trust your children, and continue to offer a variety of new and different foods without involving emotion or negativity about food and mealtimes and eating.
We have a toddler ourselves... actually she's 19 months as of today.... she goes through phases. More often than not though she'll eat no matter what if she's hungry.
She had her "go-to" foods... but she normally eats whatever we make for dinner for ourselves as well.
Just keep implementing other foods and be diligent... they'll come around!
I didn't say that it was cruel to have kids eat healthy foods. I did however say that letting a kid get so hungry that they will eat anything you put in front of them or starve, is cruel to the extent that it applies to someone like me. It's viewing it more like a battle of wills than I think it ever should be seen. No kid should be at the extreme of eating anything to avoid starvation, not in America, not in a normal household.
I don't think anyone in this thread is advocating that kind of extreme case. I did say that my kids had to eat their tiny portions before they left the table, but it never got close to the case you are describing. Maybe we were just lucky?
I do know that if my kids had a palate as limited as yours or some others that have been described, I would be taking them to a doctor or psychologist to try to find out what was going on. If you view a nut or a leafy green on the level of a live, squirming grub, you have some serious underlying issue. Maybe therapy would help/would have helped.
Sadly, that is true. I know this is just one example, but my oldest brother (the first of 4 children in my family) started being very picky around age 2. My mother followed the doctor's advice to not make a big deal out of it, to feed him only what he liked. Bad advice in his case. My brother is now 56 years old, and it's far easier to list what he WILL eat rather than what he won't. He eats PBJ, cornflakes, mashed potatoes, applesauce, bananas, and cheese pizza. And some desserts of course (cake, cookies, ice cream). NO meats whatsoever, NO vegetables, no fruits other than what I mentioned, only white bread ...
If someone could show me statistics proving that there are as many people like this in India, Somalia, Nigeria, Indonesia, Brazil, etc., and other hotspots of world hunger, I might believe this is something other than a psychological issue.
According to Save the Children, One in every four children in the world is suffering from chronic malnutrition that is affecting their ability to learn. They say undernourished children are an average of 20% less literate than those who grew up with a nutritious diet. Action Against Hunger says that 48% of child deaths worldwide occur to children who don't get enough to eat. That's a real tragedy.
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