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Larry Bird has a child he doesn't the care of, and doesn't want to acknowledge, he just pays the child support and is done with it.
That's still really crappy. These completely fatherless children are the victims here. And I have a feeling that the amount of money that Larry Bird is paying goes a lot further than the money this guy plans on paying.
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Don't beat the guy up. At least he is willing to pay support. Nothing says you have to claim the child. Hey some times BC effs up. The woman chose to keep the child, he is choosing not to be involved in the kid's life. Totally his right.
Can you imagine how much better the world would be if everyone actually took responsibility for themselves and thought of how their actions affected others?
There is also the possibility that once you see/hold that little mini-you in your arms, you'll fall in love and want to be a part of his life. Just because you had a bad father does not mean that you'll be one. You at least know what not to do - whatever your father did to you.
At least give yourself the chance to see how you feel once he is born. You can be a regular part of his life without giving up that much freedom. Presumably you have a job with X number of vacation weeks for you to do your traveling. The rest of the time you can be around and part of his life.
I'm just saying, wait until your son (try those words on for size - Your son, YOUR SON)) is born and then see how you feel about it.
Yes, I'm sure that's hard but I offered to pay for the abortion and in the end she didn't do it. I'm not using it against her but she also made a choice.
And you made the choice to have sex with her in the first place. Surely you understand how babies are made?
Of course I'll sign the birth certificate if he's mine and I'll pay CS. I don't want him to go through any difficulties. But I'm not sure I want anything else to do with him apart from sending the money. It's a big responsability, I'm not good with children and I don't thing I would be that good to him.
I've discussed this with her and she just said it's my decision. However, she expects I won't come and go like the child is a toy. I assured her I won't if I decide to stay away.
I'm really not sure what to do...no one in my family knows about the baby.
It was a big responsibility when you decided to have a sexual relationship with this woman.
Dude, honestly grow up. You are 34 and taking flings with women in my age group . Here I am thinking you are in the 24-26 range. You know, the time when men do crazy shyt and end up in stuff like this. Honestly, you have passed that level. You are a fully grown man, and can take up responsibilities to be a parent. There is so much guidance available nowadays.
You mentioned you " are sure she'll find someone to take the boy as his own ". You've got to be kidding me.
Most men have no interest in raising children that are not theirs. A great deal of child abuse comes at the hands of step-fathers towards boys and girls alike. The stepfather is interested in the mother - not the kids.
You have a responsibility to this child. Do the right thing.
That's still really crappy. These completely fatherless children are the victims here. And I have a feeling that the amount of money that Larry Bird is paying goes a lot further than the money this guy plans on paying.
How do you know. I plan to pay a nice amount like I've said, probably much more than what the court will decide.
Not that Im on the OPs side, but the mother also holds some responsibility here. If she didnt want a child, she shouldnt have slept with this guy, and let him rely on birth control.
edited to say, after re reading the first post, Im not sure who was responsible for birth control. Seems to me, tho, that was up to her whether she slept with this guy or not.
Well to all those "it's a woman's body she can do what she wants" morons, this is the flip side. How does it feel? He has the choice here, he chose not to. Deal with it.
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. Here I am thinking you are in the 24-26 range. You know, the time when men do crazy shyt and end up in stuff like this. Honestly, you have passed that level. You are a fully grown man, and can take up responsibilities to be a parent. There is so much guidance available nowadays.