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Yesterday, I received a response from someone who thought that the list I gave for talking to your kids about sex was off.
Here was the actual comment:
"your time table is way off for many kids. it is about the emotional and physical maturity for each child, there is no time table. You follow your child's lead".
And here was the list:
Age 2 --> body parts "penis" and "vagina" (not wee-wee or vah-jay-jay)
Age 3 --> the "don't let anyone touch you" talk
Age 4-5 --> babies live in mommy's womb which is in her tummy
Age 6 --> sperm from daddy and egg from mommy makes baby
Age 7 -->puberty talk (what happens when someone of their sex goes through puberty)
Age 8 --> puberty talk (what happens when someone of the opposite sex goes through puberty)
Age 9-10 --> sex talk (penis enters vagina, define ejaculation, egg fertilization)
Age 11 --> sex talk #2 (STDs, condoms, define oral sex & masturbation)
Age 12-13 --> pornography talk (or whenever they start using the computer unsupervised) and consequences of having sex (emotional attachment, sl*t-shaming, etc.)
Age 14-18 --> constant communication btwn parent and child about sex
Do you agree with the list I created, if not what changes would you make? Do you think the child's emotional and physical maturity should play a part in how deep in conversation you go?
I think talking to your kid about puberty when the opposite sex goes through puberty is important. In 5th grade, I remember a boy saying, "OMG! Suzie, you're bleeding profusely. Someone call 911!" and the class laughed at him.
When my brother was 11, he asked my neighbor (who was my age, 14, and quite the trouble maker) if she could tell him what masturbation was.
Another area I think parents miss are the other consequences of having sex (besides unintended pregnancies and STDs).
I agree.
The effectiveness of ANY message depends on the ability of the audience to receive it. Maturity plays a HUGE role. Your timetable would not have worked for my sons.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 01-23-2015 at 08:57 AM..
There is no set time table or schedule....it should be ongoing education with age and maturity level appropriated answers for eachieving individual.
There simply is not one perfect time table for sll kids and schedules like that give that impression.
I know for one...though we hit all the highlights....I never explained oral sex to my daughter! (She's 20, never got pregnant and is sexually responsible....so I don't think that damaged her in any way.)
The key is keeping the lines of communication open and honest...and making sure your kids feel they can cone to you. Human maturity and sexuallaity isn't tidy enough to be put into a chart...and pushing the issue with a child that isn't ready is as bad as never addressing it at all.
I agree.
The effectiveness of ANY message depends on the ability of the audience to receive it. Maturity plays a HUGE role. Your timetable would not have worked for my sons.
Agree completely. My daughter is 11 and I've had frank talks with her about sex and puberty for close to two years now.
My son is 8 and I can't even say the word penis without him collapsing on the floor in hysterics. He's not getting a sex talk anytime soon.
My son is 8 and I can't even say the word penis without him collapsing on the floor in hysterics. He's not getting a sex talk anytime soon.
Now that you mention it, the talks were a LOT more difficult to get through with the boys.
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