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Every time I read or hear "Daddy's polishing his shotgun to protect his little girl" it makes me cringe. Newsflash, girls and women don't belong to anyone but themselves.
Newsflash: Men are hardwired to protect their family. To a man, that means threatening--sometimes half-joking, sometimes not--other men who could hurt those for whom we are responsible. I understand that a woman will have different mechanisms for coping with this boy, and thus may not get the "joke".
I'm not going to apologize for the way nature made me, or change beyond what is required to function in society. If you don't like it, simply avoid relationships with men or find men in whom this impulse is suppressed.
This is the father's humorous and clever way of saying "you be good to my daughter... or else." A good guy will not have any problem getting the message, or delivering it when he's got daughters of his own.
Fathers can go overboard with this, of course, but this guy clearly did not.
Rape culture really exists in this country, and it starts in high school. But when I propose that I should attempt to protect my daughter from this horrific reality, you declare that I am trying to "own" her body or show off my male superiority. Not true. I'm acting like ... (gasp) ... a father.
Far more effective than building a barrier around your daughter would be role modeling to young males how they should behave.
You seem to be of the mindset that guys just can't help being disgusting monsters.
That's just lame excuses.
Then teach your girl how to tell the difference. Don't teach her she's just a victim waiting to happen.
You're not a woman and so you cannot possibly understand how disrespectful and dangerous it would be to have her believe that.
It's not the joke. Which is a stupid joke, but I mean, it's just a joke.
It's the whole mentality.
You don't own your daughter.
Your daughter is not (hopefully) a freakin' mindless idiot with no will of her own.
All boys are not predators.
The message is that women are weak, defenseless, need a man to protect them from themselves and other men...is both stupid and undermines your daughter's confidence and how she sees herself as a participant of society.
A 14 year old girl is not a woman. Not yet.
Even a 16 year old girl is still not an adult woman.
This has nothing to do with portraying women as weak and defenseless. This has everything to do with a parent wishing to protect their own children.
And no, not all boys are predators. Does that mean none of them are?
You want to criticize me for a desire to protect my children? You want to portray me as a narrow minded misogynist because I worry that my daughter might possibly be taken advantage of and deeply scarred both physically and emotionally any time she is out with a boy? You see, some people would just say I'm being a parent. But, okay, I guess you are entitled to your opinions.
Far more effective than building a barrier around your daughter would be role modeling to young males how they should behave.
You seem to be of the mindset that guys just can't help being disgusting monsters.
No. Just teenaged boys. And not all of them. Just most of them.
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Don't teach her she's just a victim waiting to happen.
I don't. Far from it! But I still worry about what the world will throw at her before she even becomes an adult. That's what parents do. Well, most of them anyway.
So you admit you think most teenage boys are disgusting monsters who can't control themselves.
That's not delusional or paranoid at all.
14 year olds shouldn't date anyway. Pointless.
You can protect her by meeting her friends...spending time getting to know who she is, how she sees the world, which activities she's interested in, accounting for her whereabouts, etc.
Not by repeatedly sending the message that she is an incompetent that someone will take advantage of if you're not there to protect her.
So you admit you think most teenage boys are disgusting monsters who can't control themselves.
Hey I was one once, remember?
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You can protect her by meeting her friends...spending time getting to know who she is, how she sees the world, which activities she's interested in, accounting for her whereabouts, etc.
What a GREAT idea!!! Now why didn't I think of that?
What a GREAT idea!!! Now why didn't I think of that?
All that proves is that you were a disgusting monster who couldn't control himself.
I dunno why you couldn't think of it. Maybe you were too busy with the immature hypermasculine posturing. Threatening people with physical violence isn't exactly great role modeling, either.
When I was a young teenager, a couple of really bad things happened to me. I told my mom both times (the second time, because I needed medical treatment) and she said we had to keep it a secret, because my dad would feel like he had to hunt down those boys and kill them, and then he would go to jail and it would be my fault. I think she was really just embarrassed and didn't want me to get a bad reputation (or help) so she was using the whole protective daddy thing against me. That's part of why I respond so negatively to it. I can totally understand wanting to keep the kids physically safe, but the idea that their value is somehow lessened once they've lost their hymen is a dangerous thing.
There's a difference between rapists and horny teenage boys...the horny teenage boys wait for the horny teenage girls to say yes, and the rapists don't. I need to protect my kids from rapists, and that includes teaching them how to defend themselves and teaching them not to put themselves into situations that put them into danger. But I don't need to intimidate the teenage boys into staying away from my daughters, the nice boys are the only ones who will be scared away, and that's not what I want for them.
If a father makes it obvious that he is involved in his children's lives and insists on meeting his daughter's dates, it should be pretty clear that he is a protective parent. I'd expect would-be predators to have a strong nose for this sort of thing and not need anything more overt to get the point. Threats and brandishing weapons seem like grandstanding to bolster the father's ego or efforts to chase away normal guys.
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