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He wants to get a job after school. Cannot do that with our schedules.
Packing him around is very tiring.
Also, he has a girlfriend who just got her license. I don't want her to start having to pack him around.
In some states a teen with a new licence can receive a ticket , lose points and a get a huge fine or even lose their drivers license if they drive with other teenagers in the car. Check that out before you just "assume" that it is OK for his girlfriend to drive him places.
It's something that nearly everyone should at least know how to do/be able to do. If he never wants to own a car, etc. Fine. But it's an important skill and sometimes necessary for jobs. He can get his license and then never drive again, as long as he has it. I also think it's better to learn with parents/guardians at a young age then try to figure it out with whomever. I only knew one person that didn't get her license until a sophomore in college. Fortunately she lived close enough to home to not be completely on her own. When the time comes, I much rather my kids learn from me while at home than from someone else while away at college.
If he says he’s not ready, he’s not ready. However, you mentioned that you’ve taken him out (driving), perhaps he would be more confident with having a few lessons from a driving school.
My D has had her license since she was 16 (she's now 20). Her boyfriend (20) just got his permit. It's been a huge butt pain for her with him not able to do his share of the driving and it has cut into the activities they do. Then again, by the time he gets his license he won't have experience driving in our heavily congested area and she wouldn't be comfortable with him doing the driving. Can't win. Don't let your son be like D's boyfriend!
My grandson is 21 now, and a super smart kid. I don't think he got his DL until he was about 18. For some reason, he was nervous about it. His friends drove him places. At some point, not driving became an inconvenience for him, so he did it.
I didn't get my licence right away either. There was no point since my parents weren't going to buy me a car. These days kids have carsjust given to them. Or at least a car they can borrow. My parents were big fans of teenagers walking, riding bikes, or taking the bus/train :-)
Driving is not "popular" compared to 10 or 20 years ago. My teens have no interest in driving because we live in a city with good mass transportation, ride sharing services, and bike paths. Also they would rather surf the internet while riding. My 80 year old mother acts like the world is going to explode just because driving doesn't interest them.
You can get your license here when you're 17 - but I didn't get mine until I was 22.
Even now, I mostly get around via public transport. When I was 16, me, and all of my friends, just got the bus or train, to wherever we wanted to go.
We walked to school, or got the bus.
Problem solved.
This was 12 years ago.
I suppose it depends on where you live. In a large city, it isn't necessary, as public transport is available - and is often much quicker than driving too, particularly rail/subway/tram, and even some buses use segregated routes so they don't get stuck in traffic - at least, they do here. It saves a lot of time.
It depends on how public transport is viewed too. Here, riding the bus isn't seen as something you have to do when you have no choice - people do it because they don't want to drive - it's expensive and time-consuming. Getting the bus to work, for me, is a lot quicker than driving - traffic is terrible, and parking is expensive.
There has been a HUGE decrease in young people driving here, and it's down to the recent trend of young adults gravitating towards cities where owning a car is seen more as a burden than a necessity or luxury.
Simply put, in many places, public transport is better, more widespread, and owning a car isn't seen as the gateway to independence it once was - and it isn't 'cool' anymore.
This isn't the 1980s. Nobody needs to know how to drive, if they can get through life without it. I'm tempted to sell my car, and I'd be considerably better off without it - nothing but a financial black hole as far as I'm concerned.
Last edited by dunno what to put here; 10-23-2015 at 08:26 PM..
Oldest son did not get his either until his wife was pregnant with their child, did not stop him from doing anything.
He still does not like to drive, his choice.
Don't "Pack him around and don't pay for other sources other than perhaps a bus pass.
His friends will do it for awhile but they'll get tired of it eventually.
IF he doesn't want to drive yet, it's no big deal but he's also old enough to make his own way to work, school, etc via public transportation or walking. Only provide transport when it's convenient or if you choose to do so. For example, you might choose to drive him to and from school but not to and from work.
I say the above from experience. I didn't care about getting my license at 16 either (I learned how to drive in school) and that's basically what my parents did. I eventually got my license when I was 18.
Leave him the eff alone. I think letting kids drive is bad parenting. He apparently has more sense than his parents. Get off his back. Support his decision to leave driving until full adulthood, where it rightfully belongs. Hopefully he feels the same way about sex.
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