Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You gotta do what you gotta do... if this is what it takes to be able to provide for your daughter and get yourself in a good financial situation, then do it. Look at it this way.. it's temporary.
Best of luck!
If you share custody with your mother, and she's moving to Florida in May, then why are you asking this question?
The OP's mother is moving to FL, not the mother of the child.
OP, please weigh your options. FL is not cheap. When you get a car down there your car insurance is going to be double what is in MD.
Do you have a firm written offer in regards to this $17 an hour job? Or is this someone just telling you "anytime you want a job you have one". Which means nothing.
Many people make mistake of thinking moving to FL is going to make their problems go away, FL works best for retired people, not a young guy like yourself.
Salaries are very low there, if this job doesn't come through, than what? Can you stay with your grandfather indefinitely? Do you get along with him well enough to do that?
The main thing is your daughter, you will be missing a big part of her life, and once that time is gone, it's gone.
Not saying you shouldn't go, but you better do more research on cost of living vs. salaries. FL is cheaper when it comes to home purchases, but you're not worried about, day to day life, as I mentioned car insurance and groceries are pricey.
Do it, OP. Go. Grow. Learn. Your daughter is young. If you are confident you have what it takes to become a "better man" then take this opportunity and make the most of it. Don't squander a minute, don't date losers, don't drink/do drugs, waste time or money in any way. Your daughter will thank you.
OP, my dad "disappeared" for a few years of my life when I was 4-6 yrs old. I learned many years later that he was in and out of a few rehabs and halfway houses during those years. My mom eventually gave me the letters and pictures he sent me during that time (intended to be given at a later date) and I understood that he was doing everything he could to become a better man and a better father. Honestly, I barely remember those years (30 yrs ago)
What I do remember: him hitchhiking 500+ miles to visit us, my mom crying as we dropped him off at the interstate exit to hitchhike back, going to visit him and my grandparents...Fast forward a few yes: going to his graduation from graduate school (magna *** laude); his love, non-judgemental support and wise advice during my high school years; his financial support and sage advice during my college years; his financial support and his arm at my wedding; his close bond with my husband (both have immense respect for one another); his amazing interactions with my kids; his willingness to make the long drive for each of my kids' birthdays every year--he's here at my house right now to celebrate my youngest's birthday
He's a great guy, and his backstory is inspiring and complex. But, OP, even though the substance abuse part of his story doesn't apply to you, think about this: he wouldn't have been able to be in any of those memories of my life if he'd not been willing to do what it took to become a better person--including moving across the country. Think about from a kids pov: they don't know any different, really. But when a kid reaches the age to understand that you, because you are their parent, sacrificed for them: that is powerful,
You are not going to get real work in Florida. Not going to happen. You might find a nice place to sleep at night in your grandmothers, but the "back on feet" part will never happen. 10.50 an hour is a good wage in Florida. If you need more than that, it isn't going to happen. Go to court and get your stipend lowered or suspended for a while. My Brother was in a similar situation and it has ruined his life. Not going to put anymore than that in a public forum, but running--especially to Florida, is not going to help things. Will just let it snowball into a worse situation. Sorry. Not what you might want to hear. But Ive watched this exact scenario ruin a loved ones life.
There are decent-paying opportunities in Florida. Not sure why that would be questioned. Do you think that everyone in the state makes $10/hr?
OP it sounds like you know what you have to do. It's not ideal, but it's better than your current situation. You can sustain a close relationship with your daughter if you have her during the summer and especially if you also have her for Christmas and spring break. Skype in between and plan to fly up once per year, maybe for her birthday. Build your life and a life for her. She will thank you for it later.
There are decent-paying opportunities in Florida. Not sure why that would be questioned. Do you think that everyone in the state makes $10/hr?
OP it sounds like you know what you have to do. It's not ideal, but it's better than your current situation. You can sustain a close relationship with your daughter if you have her during the summer and especially if you also have her for Christmas and spring break. Skype in between and plan to fly up once per year, maybe for her birthday. Build your life and a life for her. She will thank you for it later.
I lived in Florida. There is no opportunity for 'real' work. Statistics bear this out. ITs a service based economy with high unemployment. I don't what to go off-topic, but I stick by what I said. To move to florida and think you are going to get a 'real' job shortly thereafter is not even remotely realistic. A waiter job, yeah, but not a real, career position. The OP will have to be the one to research and determine what career path / risk he wants to take.
Do you have to move all the way to Florida? I agree that you need to do something different, but there are lower cost of living areas far closer than Florida. No, you won't have free rent but you can probably manage without that too.
Do you have to move all the way to Florida? I agree that you need to do something different, but there are lower cost of living areas far closer than Florida. No, you won't have free rent but you can probably manage without that too.
This.
People supporting running 1000 miles away, and all will be well, and the kid will appreciate it later etc, are just not realistic at all. It's not a Tv show.
People supporting running 1000 miles away, and all will be well, and the kid will appreciate it later etc, are just not realistic at all. It's not a Tv show.
I agree. A more likely scenario is he moves away, and his relationship with his kid slowly disintegrates. 5 years down the road the mom is remarried and someone else is raising his kid, Dad sees his kid once every 2-3 years, or less.
I agree. A more likely scenario is he moves away, and his relationship with his kid slowly disintegrates. 5 years down the road the mom is remarried and someone else is raising his kid, Dad sees his kid once every 2-3 years, or less.
Only if the OP allowed this to happen...which would be a cop out...but he doesn't sound like that kind of father...he has stepped up since he was 19...many young men his age don't...it is all about making the effort to build a relationship with his daughter and it can be done from 1000 miles away...just with greater difficulty...To another point...yes by all means the OP should have the $17.50 job 100% lined up before making the move!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
