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Yet if the parents of a gay child don't accept them, they are branded as being "Intolerant" when they are staying true to their religion. But guess that's what they're not supposed to do from what "Others' think they should be doing.
A sad society when people care more about ancient folk tales than their children.
As a parent, it's a non-issue. As a member of the LGBTQ community, sexual orientation is something I speak openly about with my older children. They understand it is perfectly okay to identify however they wish. There's a chance one of my children will have a non-hetero sexual orientation, and when I speak to my older kids about romantic interests/partners it's always in the context of boyfriend or girlfriend, never favoring one over the other.
I live in a fairly progressive area (Nor Cal), and we'll likely stay in a similar progressive location. I can only hope that we continue to see progress so that if one of my kids identifies as non-hetero they won't face the kind of crap that so many have for many years.
I told my mom years ago that I'm attracted to men and women, and she was all "Cool. I totally get it." I would never divulge that to my father. He's about as fundie as you can get (as was I in another life). We have an awkward/strained relationship as it is, and I don't need any sort of approval from him.
I think it takes time. I have 3 LGBT kids (all girls). I always "knew" my 2nd child was gay (don't ask me how, I have known her whole life). My oldest came out as bi at 16 and I was shocked. For one, I didn't really understand bisexuality (I always assumed bisexuals were really just gay people who hadn't come to term with it yet). At the time we had just moved to a very liberal place (Seattle) and all her friends were lesbians/bi, so I assumed it was just a phase and told her so.
That didn't go over really well.
It took me some time to get educated about bisexuality. I bought her some books and we talked. I think she's still mad that I didn't handle her coming out the way she wanted me to, but it was never about not accepting her, or not accepting her sexuality. One of the books I read said, "It can take a person years to come to terms with their own sexuality, and it's not much different for parents. Their dreams for you have changed (marriage, maybe having grandchildren, etc) and it just takes time to adjust." I think this is probably the most apt description for what it's like. I think kids want their parents to say YAY! When really it's mostly just a shock. Once the idea sinks in, and you realize nothing has changed, it is no big deal. She is still the same person I've always loved.
When my 3rd child came out as bi, her older siblings had stolen her thunder hahaha. I think she was disappointed everyone said, "So?" LMAO
I think your Dad will come around. Just give it some time.
Many posts have been edited and deleted in this thread. I understand it is a sensitive topic, but it can and will be discussed sensibly in this forum. No fighting or off topic sidebars are allowed.
I frequently tell my kids that if they come out as gay, I'd be okay with it and would love them unconditionally no matter who they were or who they loved. And I would. My husband would be the same way.
However, I shudder at my own parents' reaction to the news that one of their grandkids is gay. It would not be pretty and most likely would come down to being MY fault somehow. *lol*
I frequently tell my kids that if they come out as gay, I'd be okay with it and would love them unconditionally no matter who they were or who they loved. And I would. My husband would be the same way.
However, I shudder at my own parents' reaction to the news that one of their grandkids is gay. It would not be pretty and most likely would come down to being MY fault somehow. *lol*
Seriously at this point with all that is going on in this world. If one of my kids or now grandkids had come out I would be relieved not having to worry what kind of world my decedent's would be living in.
You handled it very well, that was a brave thing to do! One of my kids came out to me recently. I had also had that mother's intuition and was happy to have my kid's trust. If your overall relationship with your parents is good, it makes it much easier. A parent will always want the best for you. In my case, I do not like my kid's choice in a partner, because this person happens to really not be a great influence, nothing to do with gender. When I mention to my kid how this partner is rude to me despite opening my home and being most welcoming, it comes back to "I wish I hadn't told you etc..." it really saddens me not to be given more credit than that. Please do not get overly defensive towards your parents who will always see, sometimes better than you will, whether someone might not be the best influence; it's not necessarily a gay issue!
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