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Let's play devil's advocate for a minute. You are in a college class, and a Brad Pitt look alike with huge biceps and a six pack comes in with no shirt on and sits down right across from you.
Any chance you will hear any of the lecture? Yeah me neither.
Perhaps the particular girls at this particular school had got it in their heads to do something relatively similar. I could see a girls assembly being appropriate in that case.
I don't have to play this game.
He sat behind me in AP Spanish. Peter.
He was sculpted in every way, everyone thought he was gorgeous, he smelled...AMAZING...and he wore these plain white t-shirts and jeans that grabbed his anatomy (biceps, shoulders, ass, thighs) juuust right.
On top of that, he was smart, funny, nice, and a state champ at his sport.
I have honestly never before or never since been in the presence of a guy who would just take the whole room like that...in every room he was in.
We were like, "Tee hee," Omg, and then we got on with our lives.
It can be done.
Think about every school crush you ever had. Insanely distracting, but yet you make it through classes without creating chaos. Why? Self-control.
^ unless you've been a teenage boy, you just can't say "control it" and expect it to happen. Is it just 1 boy? Come on.
They're not asking for loose t-shirts (that was just a comparison) - they just want skin covered up enough so it cannot be a contributing factor. They are trying to address the overall issue here, right? Non-form fitting clothes with minimal skin exposure absolutely helps in the sexual attraction distraction factor. How can you say otherwise?
Interesting. Perhaps since you've never been a teenage girl you don't understand that boys will flirt with you and be distracted no matter what you're wearing ...depending on the boy!
I am all for a simple and common sense dress code. I'd go for one similar to, but less strict, than what stan4 posted upthread.
But, even if it's not "dress code appropriate" a boy should be able to be in the same room with a girl dressed like the girl in the picture you posted without being "uneasy" or otherwise too distracted to function.
Obviously not all boys have this extreme problem. As Mattie posted: boys still focus on football even with cheerleaders on the sideline. Track runners still run even though female teammates are wearing tiny shorts and tank tops. Male swimmers can still swim, even though female teammates have on *gasp* bathing suits!
^^This is why appropriate for the situation is important. If a boy is frozen with nervousness in the very presence of girls who are dressed appropriately for the situation, the issue is with the boy, not the girls.
It's not right in terms of equality, but it's the best way to go about it. Again, there is no "controlling distraction". On that topic - you would stare (or avoid looking altogether) at a woman's exposed body just as much... if she stays in the room, it's a distraction until she's gone. Explain how you control your uneasiness.
You left out the rest of my quote. I said "stop putting all the responsibility on the girls" but I added this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by elvira310
Stop putting all the responsibility on the girls. Any well-endowed girl will tell you that she will get plenty of creepy looks and unwanted attention, regardless of what she wears. How about the school hold an assembly and lecture the boys on any creepy behavior? How about that be dealt with as well, huh?
I was one of those well-endowed girls. NOTHING would completely conceal what was underneath my baggy clothing. Some boys (and men) would get "distracted" in an inappropriate way. That made me uneasy, to say the least. A guy behaves like that in a workplace or out in public life, he gets labeled a creep, doesn't he? What he does is not waved away like, "Boys will be boys," is it? Well, why not hold high school boys to the same standard? The sooner they learn to act civilized, the better.
Fortunately, most of them do manage on their own. It's the few who don't that are the problem, and they are to blame for how they behave, not anyone else.
I taught 10 years and 8 of those were in high school. I never enforced the dress code as a teacher. Why? Because it was never such a distraction that it prevented me from teaching and the kids from learning.
The irony is that the dress code is only a distraction when you try to enforce the code. You have to interrupt class, address the student, get out a ruler, find a "neutral" set of 3 finger widths, deal with teen's attitude, speak to parents, send them to the office, etc.
And to be honest, aside from a few boys trying to stealthily eye a girl as she was walking by to get to her desk, I have never witnessed this "distraction" the schools are all trying to prevent.
If a boy is that uncomfortable in the presence of girls, perhaps his parents should explore therapy or an all boys school.
Seriously. He's gonna see some exposed flesh, right? How much exposure can this particular kid handle before he looses it?
His "uneasiness" is NOT the girls fault if they are dressed appropriately for the situation.
This is where I stand somewhat. Mainly, it's this--eventually, these guys are going to have to deal with women who are dressed comfortably for the warm weather and yet behave themselves. They might as well learn that early on.
I don't like some of these "Band-Aid" solutions to things. The same goes for school uniforms. The idea is that students fight over clothing in terms of jealousy and envy and so let's make everyone dress the same. My thoughts--eventually you're going to meet someone who has nicer clothes, nicer car, nicer house, nicer electronics etc, and you have to deal with it. Kids should be taught that they have no right attacking someone to steal their nice shoes from them or their nice car from them. Why should someone who can afford nicer clothes or car etc have to dumb down their freedom of expression because of someone else's envy and failure to control themselves?
I drive a 2000 Toyota Corolla. Every day I see people driving 2009 BMWs and 2012 Toyota Camyrs etc. It's life. I have no business taking from them, they have the right to drive something nicer and I have no right to take it from them. They shouldn't have to compromise and drive a 2000 Toyota Corolla like I do so as to spare my feelings, I just have to deal with that reality.
Now, don't get me wrong, at some point I do think it's silly for a woman to dress provocatively (as in ultra low-cut tank-tops wearing no bra and showing TONS of cleavage) and then getting mad if a guy so much as glances in her direction. That's ridiculous. However, at the same time, a lady (and a guy too) should be able to dress reasonably comfortably for the weather and in a stylish manner, and others can deal with it or get over it.
He was sculpted in every way, everyone thought he was gorgeous, he smelled...AMAZING...and he wore these plain white t-shirts and jeans that grabbed his anatomy (biceps, shoulders, ass, thighs) juuust right.
On top of that, he was smart, funny, nice, and a state champ at his sport.
I have honestly never before or never since been in the presence of a guy who would just take the whole room like that...in every room he was in.
We were like, "Tee hee," Omg, and then we got on with our lives.
It can be done.
Think about every school crush you ever had. Insanely distracting, but yet you make it through classes without creating chaos. Why? Self-control.
^^^ thank you. It is ludicrous to body shame girls because boys can't control themselves. What type of lesson do you think that is teaching both genders?
Girls are being taught if they flaunt it, they are asking for it.
Boys are being taught if a girl flaunts it she's asking for it.
Let's play devil's advocate for a minute. You are in a college class, and a Brad Pitt look alike with huge biceps and a six pack comes in with no shirt on and sits down right across from you.
Any chance you will hear any of the lecture? Yeah me neither.
Perhaps the particular girls at this particular school had got it in their heads to do something relatively similar. I could see a girls assembly being appropriate in that case.
You don't see the difference between a guy coming to class shirtless and a girl wearing a tank top that *gasp* shows her shoulders?
Perhaps none of you has any experience with a school that has quit enforcing dress codes for students. It has been three years since we had a principal who would back teachers up on enforcing dress code violations. Now we have girls wearing see-through shirts with just a bra on underneath, girls with midriff tops up to their bras, boys wearing their pants three inches below the bottom of their buttocks with knit boxers underneath that leave no illusions to their manhood, students wearing shirts advertising drugs, alcohol, or with nearly naked women on them, sweat pants on both boys and girls which also leave nothing to the imagination, boys with just wife-beaters on for shirts, and hats on both boys and girls. The one rule I don't care about is earrings on boys, which is no longer just a gang sign. There are gang members displaying all over the place, including wearing their hats cocked to one side. I can't go for that at all.
ETA: By the way, when the parents come to the school, they are quite often dressed even worse than their kids.
In my opinion, dress codes for school help students understand that there is one standard for your professional life and another for your personal life. When you have students coming to school dressed like streetwalkers and dope boys, you are setting the tone for the "learning" environment. The question is, what are they learning? In our school, they are learning that everything goes.
Every time restrictions are placed, there will be those who will find away around them. Different people are distracted by different things.
The last time I renewed my license, a high school age girl was there, wearing the uniform of one of the private Christian schools, consisting of a wrinkled, grayish white blouse and a plaid pleated skirt which barely covered her underwear. Obviously, she had been wearing the same shirt since her enrolment, 6 inches ago, and washed all her clothing without separating colors from whites. I was distracted, but she was probably technically in compliance.
My point is, there could be a manual a foot thick, and it would still not cover every eventuality of a dress code. I am more in favor of a very basic, simple one, and then dealing with big problems as they come up.
Perhaps none of you has any experience with a school that has quit enforcing dress codes for students. It has been three years since we had a principal who would back teachers up on enforcing dress code violations. Now we have girls wearing see-through shirts with just a bra on underneath, girls with midriff tops up to their bras, boys wearing their pants three inches below the bottom of their buttocks with knit boxers underneath that leave no illusions to their manhood, students wearing shirts advertising drugs, alcohol, or with nearly naked women on them, sweat pants on both boys and girls which also leave nothing to the imagination, boys with just wife-beaters on for shirts, and hats on both boys and girls. The one rule I don't care about is earrings on boys, which is no longer just a gang sign. There are gang members displaying all over the place, including wearing their hats cocked to one side. I can't go for that at all.
ETA: By the way, when the parents come to the school, they are quite often dressed even worse than their kids.
In my opinion, dress codes for school help students understand that there is one standard for your professional life and another for your personal life. When you have students coming to school dressed like streetwalkers and dope boys, you are setting the tone for the "learning" environment. The question is, what are they learning? In our school, they are learning that everything goes.
Thank you for your post. It certainly shows the importance of administration supporting a reasonable dress code.
Sadly, many of those students may start to think that wearing clothing like that is acceptable everywhere and wonder why they can't find a job or have difficulties when they leave their immediate community/neighborhood.
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