Toddlers who are terribly shy. (daughter, kid, mom, home)

[Marlow]

Based on what you've said, there's nothing wrong with her and you and your mom need to back off. There's no way to predict what kind of person she's going to be based on how she is at 19 months and even if there were, there's not much anyone can do about and nothing you can do about it.

[GiGi603]

Originally Posted by GKelly

Every time I see my niece she seems unhappy but maybe she's just shy. I can't tell ya know?

I think the best thing to do is give her space and don't force yourself upon her. You can passively try to engage her in an activity. Find something she might be interested in and maybe she will be slowly play along. I know hand puppets are great things. They can work quite well. Instead of talking to a "person" they are talking and engaging in something less threatening.

[MoonBeam33]

I would suggest you purchase a copy of "What to Expect the Toddler Years" and read every stage that your niece is in. It might help you understand the toddler years a little more.

[nana053]

Originally Posted by GKelly

Ok, thanks. I'm not a parent. I don't know what's normal and at what age.

At 19 months, separation anxiety is normal. Between 12 and 24 months is the peak age for this. She may not be *shy* at all really. She just wants to be with her mom or dad.

[janet bubby]

Sounds like this poor child already senses how overbearing you and your mom are. Leave the poor child alone and just let her be, with her parents.

[COCUE]

There's no normal. She's just 19 months old. She may well be a different child in 6 months or not. Each of my kids were different as babies and then as toddlers. My very shy infant and toddler with massive separation and stranger anxiety as a baby is the friendliest 4 year old today and hasn't met a stranger that he doesn't want to say hi to. Why knows who he will be as a 10 year old, 15 or 30 year old

[spchtx]

If she doesn't get much engagement at home, than it may be difficult for her to interact in a big group of not so familiar people. Maybe when she clinging to her dad, play a game of "peek-a-boo" with her, as she hides behind his legs. Meet her where she is, and engage her there.

Your engagement does not have to come from a place of judgement on what her parents are/are not doing with her. It can just be you making your time with her special. If you can see her more often in her environment, that could help too.

[PeachSalsa]

Originally Posted by WildColonialGirl

When you become a parent to your own child you'll realise it's not that you're creating the sort of person you want, you're unwrapping the person you've got.

My children were all different as toddlers. My most friendly and outgoing toddler is a homebody as an adult. My clingiest baby and toddler is a very outgoing, social, and dynamic adult.

Who she is at 19 months is not who she will be (next month, next year, as a teen, as an adult).

My advice is to relax and just enjoy who she is NOW. Stop pressuring her!

[kitty61]

Originally Posted by GKelly

My 19 month old niece is terribly shy. My brother says she's loud and runs around the house when she's at home and she'll play with other kids. But when she's around other adults, she gets painfully shy. We had breakfast with her the other day and she wouldn't even look at us (everyone but my brother). I sat with her in the backseat to play with her but she just looked bored and grumpy the entire time. My mom sees her about every two weeks and she's still closed off to my family. When we're around she'll cling onto my brother and he can't even put her down. I hung out with them the whole day and I didn't see her smile or make a peep the entire time unless I wasn't around to see or hear it while my brother played with her. I asked what would happen if my brother put her down and let her cry. I don't know if that might be a bad thing since you don't want your kid to not trust you to be there for them at a young age. From what I hear she's very stubborn and has a bad temper.

My mom thinks my brother and his gf doesn't take my niece out enough and doesn't interact or read to her. I hear my niece's mom puts Sesame Street on the entire day and leaves her alone with the TV. She doesn't read to her, sing to her, play with her, take her to story time or the park.

I'm not the parent so there isn't much I can do. I'm wondering if my niece will grow out of this extreme shyness? I'm a bit worried about her if she doesn't grow out of it. Maybe she'll grow out of it when she's in school (dear God I hope the mom doesn't decide to home school her) and interact with teachers. The only thing I can do is try and understand her situation. Any insight is welcomed.

Shyness and clinging is not atypical. Neither is stubbornness and temper. They grow out of it in 99.9% of cases.

When she was little, my youngest sister used to run and hide under her bed when people rang the doorbell. She would not eat so Mom had to pretend little sister was a puppy. Sister would be on the floor on all fours and bark for another bite.

Well, big change !!!! Sister is a professional entertainer, pres of community league, musician, author, mother of two, excellent cook, and now a government office employee in the elections financial department. She is the most social of all of us sisters and mother, father.

[prayercall]

My 2 year old is very SHY!! We do not take her outside often maybe twice or 3 times a week. In home she is a menace. Loud destroying everything in her path jumping screaming etc. Outside at the park she is quiet and scared. I finally started to get her to play with others by bringing a ball and showing her playing with other kids are ok. she starting to slowly warm up.

note: I live overseas. I do not leave the house unless neccesarry, so thats why we do not exit from our home much. but she has plenty of balcony time. (: