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It is just hard to feel a lot of sympathy when you have lost babies. I'm not one to say "your feelings don't matter because people have had it worse", in general. That bothers me. But..."I'm sad I am having a girl" is sooooooooo hard to swallow after so many losses. It is painfully immature. The OP should be doing back flips her child had a heart beat.
You're wrong.
My wife lost two, then got the cancer and the treatment eliminated the possibility of any more. That doesn't make me unable to understand the OP's disappointment. Your inability is on *you*.
Ha ha Id be very surprised that this poster can actually carry a baby, I think its a teenage boy having a laugh at us all on here, he or she must have five posts on the go on Parenting, He or she has joined in June, first posts.. different names.. He or she is determined to take over the Parenting threads on here.. and are sitting back laughing... It might be a group of friends on their own computer and why its not showing in IPs..wake up posters were being duped.
I know from the topic it sounds horrible, but it is true. I am 24 and have been married two years to a wonderful man. To be quite honest I really would prefer a boy. It may sound really cliche but to be quite honest I really am not very "girly' or are really into typical girl things and it bothers me knowing I am having a girl. I grew up with two sisters who were very annoying and frankly can't stand so it's not as if I don't know what it is like growing up with girls considering they are both younger and I helped raise them.
I also realize the gender is out of my control and it was a possibility but I really hoped it was a boy, and when I recently found out I was having a girl I admit I cried. My husband says he would have preferred a boy as well but we can still have a good time raising a girl which I am sure he is right, but it doesn't really help me. Again, I know it sounds horrible, but I can't help how I feel.
Hormones can do crazy things to our minds. If you are just disappointed about your baby's gender, that's normal. But, if you find yourself really dreading having a baby because she is a girl, please talk to your doctor and get a referral to a therapist.
Do this as early as possible, even before giving birth. Having a baby is a big change, and sometimes we need a little support to work through our emotions while going through this change, especially when hormones are running rampant. There is no shame in asking for that help. In fact, that's part of being a good parent.
My best friend's husband is #7 of 8 boys. My daughter plays soccer with a family that has 5 daughters. You are statistically more likely to continue having the same gender after you already have 2 of that gender.
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_q2010
Source?
I have three sons. Probably because of them, I seem to know dozens of other families with 3 sons. I'd be interested in that source too, as it seems to be a possibility. My mother had 4 sons before her first daughter.
I wasn't willing to keep trying to see if that happened in our case.
I know from the topic it sounds horrible, but it is true. I am 24 and have been married two years to a wonderful man. To be quite honest I really would prefer a boy. It may sound really cliche but to be quite honest I really am not very "girly' or are really into typical girl things and it bothers me knowing I am having a girl. I grew up with two sisters who were very annoying and frankly can't stand so it's not as if I don't know what it is like growing up with girls considering they are both younger and I helped raise them.
I also realize the gender is out of my control and it was a possibility but I really hoped it was a boy, and when I recently found out I was having a girl I admit I cried. My husband says he would have preferred a boy as well but we can still have a good time raising a girl which I am sure he is right, but it doesn't really help me. Again, I know it sounds horrible, but I can't help how I feel.
Get some help before the baby comes, please. Go get some counseling or therapy.
Seriously... you wanted a boy and are not getting one, so you're not happy about having a girl. WOW. And your hubby would prefer a boy too, right? Be prepared, chances are that the next one will be a girl too... I've seen it time and time again.
Ever think of being grateful for the fact that you ARE pregnant and can have a child?
Girls are undesirable? Sounds like you have some issues about loving females and probably yourself deep down inside.
Get help. NOW. Do it for your unborn child. If you truly don't want her, please give her up for adoption forthwith and allow her to have a loving Mom and Dad who would be thrilled to have her or any child grace their lives.
I know from the topic it sounds horrible, but it is true. I am 24 and have been married two years to a wonderful man. To be quite honest I really would prefer a boy. It may sound really cliche but to be quite honest I really am not very "girly' or are really into typical girl things and it bothers me knowing I am having a girl. I grew up with two sisters who were very annoying and frankly can't stand so it's not as if I don't know what it is like growing up with girls considering they are both younger and I helped raise them.
I also realize the gender is out of my control and it was a possibility but I really hoped it was a boy, and when I recently found out I was having a girl I admit I cried. My husband says he would have preferred a boy as well but we can still have a good time raising a girl which I am sure he is right, but it doesn't really help me. Again, I know it sounds horrible, but I can't help how I feel.
I suspect that when she's born, you'll feel that deep parental love we get for our children.
Also, keep in mind that this isn't the 1850s. What do I mean by that? Well, for decades now, tomboys have been considered happy well adjusted children. And in the past two generations, girls have blazed trails and blasted stereotypes. They're athletes, they're scholars, they become doctors, scientists, engineers. They work in IT.
Today's girl is different from pre WWII era girls, for example. You may find your daughter to be completely outside stereotypes of days gone by.
You do have to let kids' own personalities develop, yes, but you can expose her to athletic and other activities.
And not to impose religious views on people- but, well, we're individual spirits or, if you prefer, core personalities first and gender is secondary if not tertiary.
My wife lost two, then got the cancer and the treatment eliminated the possibility of any more. That doesn't make me unable to understand the OP's disappointment. Your inability is on *you*.
I guess you are the most empathetic person on earth. I bow down to you.
I understand what you are saying. It's just I worry about getting a "girly girl". I don't know much at all about fashion, or even makeup really. And I worry she will be one of those kind of girls. Not to even mention all the crazy emotions to deal with in her teen years. Boys are a lot easier to handle and far less problems.
Lol, say what? You must not know the boys I know then.
Perhaps a little generosity of spirit could be spared. She is having her first kid, she is likely overwhelmed (as others mentioned), and processing a lot of emotions on a lot of different hormones that aren't what her body is used to.
I can't imagine what the country would be like if everyone was so judgmental, writing everyone else off so quickly, but to their faces. Glad most people vent that side of themselves online I suppose, though it is getting worse and more common for it to spread to personal encounters.
She's the one "writing off" the baby.
And while I'm no psychiatrist she said it was because she had issues with sisters and having to "raise them".
So this baby is being born behind the eight ball as it is.
Might be fine. When baby is born, moms often feel a deep rush of love and the bond comes in. I've heard of parents who had such thoughts and did a complete 180 when they held their newborn.
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