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My uncles and aunts forced me to hug when I was little. One aunt (she was about 80) kept wanting me to kiss her old wrinkly face. I hated all of it.
Maybe my parents should have called the police .
You guys are overthinking all of this. Insanitary? Really? I ate cat food and dirt when I was little.
Pedophile? Okay, so what arousal would she get from a little kiss? What would be the next step after the kiss? I don't think a woman ever sexually abused a 5 year old. I mean - HOW would that even work??
Is the kissing teacher/mom from a different country?
Wow you are sadly ill-informed. Women do molest children.
I don't think the woman is likely a pedophile (although she isn't keeping proper boundaries), but female pedophiles DO exist and parents need to follow their gut instincts to keep their kids safe. Google it. Here is a good start: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_child_molesters
As an aside, my kids rarely even hugged their preschool teachers, and not many hugs Kinder and above (maybe quick side hug at the end of school). Never kissed a single one of their teachers...ever.
I don't think this woman is a predator, but she seems to be feeling a sense of closeness with your child that doesn't really exist. It makes her feel wanted and important. You probably could talk directly to her rather than go to the director...but since you have the other issues as well.....
Stagemomma, you said it perfectly. This is how I feel! She is forcing a closeness with my son. She does it every time I pick him up and I find that very odd. It is like she is trying to prove something to me. Or to herself. I don't know.
And just to clarify, she is a parent of one of the students and was recently hired as a part time teacher. I find it very odd that she was so involved in the class even before getting hired. She would bring the kids gifts (fireman hats, pirate coins) and buy pizza for the class. It was too much. They are there to learn and I find it strange that she was spending so much time in the class.
How could anyone think kissing on the lips is not unsanitary?! I am baffled by this. For instance, strep throat is going around the class. This teacher handles all the kids. Chances are good she is going to catch it. It is incubating in her and she kisses my son. Now my son has strep. Also as a previous poster mentioned, what if she has herpes or mono. It is definitely a sanitary issue.
Just to update, I talked to the director today and she agreed it was out of bounds. I mentioned numerous times that I know that you cannot rely on the word of a 5 year old but that she needs to investigate it and let me know what she says. She is going to talk to her about not crossing those boundaries. Funny enough, I passed the teacher on the way out of school today when I picked up my son. We were talking to his teacher as my son had a bad day and we were discussing what happened. She walked over while we were talking to the teacher and she ran her hands through my son's hair. My son hates having his hair touched and immediately moved away. To me she is trying to show me how much she knows my son and how close they are. In reality she is making him uncomfortable. I don't know....this is a lot of touching for me to be comfortable with. Unfortunately she has just been assigned to my younger sons classroom and now we will have to deal with her on a daily basis while this is getting worked out.
Yes talk to the teacher,tell her to stop all those affections to her son saying it makes your son uncomfortable.Granted you might also be too paranoid like alot of parents these days espically mothers their VERY protective of their sons and quite paranoid when another woman comes into their son's existence.Think before you go and try to mess up this lady's teaching career.
Yes talk to the teacher,tell her to stop all those affections to her son saying it makes your son uncomfortable.Granted you might also be too paranoid like alot of parents these days espically mothers their VERY protective of their sons and quite paranoid when another woman comes into their son's existence.Think before you go and try to mess up this lady's teaching career.
I won't be messing up her teaching career. I am first and foremost an advocate for my son. My son doesn't know what is right or wrong at this point. I rely on the teachers to keep him safe and not cross any lines. If the school investigates and feels it was inappropriate, then she is messing up her own career. I didn't ask for her to be fired. But I did ask the director to ensure she does not kiss my son on the lips. I don't think that is being overprotective .
I love when my son is affectionate with his teachers. He had this one teacher that he was in love with. Would sit on her lap, give her hugs, high fives, cry because he wanted her to come to his birthday party. And she seemed to really love him. I had no problems with this. We actually became pretty close with her. Because it was not forced or awkward. This time feels very different.
The more I think about it, the more I feel that I am right in thinking something is a little off. I am going to trust my instincts and keep a close eye on this situation.
Yes, absolutely trust your instincts. This woman's behavior is weird. And I don't care what "culture" she's from. In our culture, normal people/teachers don't go around kissing young children on the lips, or force them into hugs or any other physical contact. Period. You have every right to request that your child be placed with another teacher.
It sounds like a woman overly focused on trying to get a job. Let the kids show their parents they love her, etc. For what it is worth, Most preschools hire moms of students to teach. Maybe she is trying too hard?
The touching, constant hugging is bad enough. No one should have to be touched if they don't want to. But the kissing on the lips...ugh. That's gross. You don't know where her lips have been. You don't know if she has cold sores or is coming down with strep. I got p.o.'d at my dd's dance teacher who passed her lipstick around for all the girls to use. Luckily my dd had enough sense to decline. I can't imagine someone actually putting their mouth on hers. There's no way that is acceptable under any circumstance.
Not to say the woman is some kind of predator. She sounds pretty clueless and desperate, like she's trying too hard to prove she loves the kids and they love her. Even though she probably means no harm, she needs to know her behavior is not appropriate. You shouldn't have to beg and cajole and force affection from little kids. Either they give it freely or they don't. If they don't, let them be. You are 100% right in nipping this in the bud now.
As a father, I would feel the same way. It's potentially innocent, depending on the woman in question, but in this day and age she should know better so it does seem inappropriate... or worse. If she's like that with EVERYONE then she might just be one of those very touchy-feely affectionate people -- I've known some -- but I completely relate to your concerns here.
Would the concerns be any different if it were a male teacher and female student or same-sex for both? The motivations behind the act (if it occurred) are a factor. Also, be aware of how you treat and discuss this around the child; he is still in the range of the Oedipal stage and is sorting things out - setting a template for future development.
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