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A couple of my relationships with women in the past have suffered, because I didn't want to have children cause I was afraid that they would be autistic like I am, or I was afraid that I would not have in me to raise them cause of my condition. I was willing to adapt a child in the future, with enough money, but most women do not want to adapt as a compromise, from what I know.
So what do you think? I talked about it with a friend and he said that I am rejecting of my own kind, like the same way a black person in the older days, might not want to have kids, cause they fear that they will not be socially accepted as much; and I should not be ashamed of my kind. That was his analogy anyway.
Autism is a really broad diagnosis that covers a range of people from the highly intelligent and highly creative to those whose disabilities may prevent them from being able to live without a caregiver and to support themselves. People with severe disabilities might have a great deal of difficulty in being a parent and might not even have the maturity to be able to consent to sex. People who are highly intelligent or creative and on the spectrum will probably have no problem at all raising a child, especially if they have a spouse who is great at handling the basic details of life and making sure everything gets done...sometimes people with extraordinary intelligence or creativity can get so focused on their pursuits that they lose track of things like mealtimes and laundry, so it helps to have someone keeping track of that stuff when a small child is depending on you.
Seeing a genetic counselor might be helpful for you. Also, adoption is not the only option. Using a sperm donor would be an option, if your future wife wanted to have the experience of pregnancy and birth.
I don't think you're rejecting your own kind. I think you want to make sure you're able to provide for a child and to parent a child, and it's good to think about things like that in advance.
If you're able to find women who are willing to have children with you, you must have wonderful enough qualities that they aren't afraid of what you're afraid of.
My son is five and I just came to the realization that he might be autistic. You're question actually made me very happy.
A couple of my relationships with women in the past have suffered, because I didn't want to have children cause I was afraid that they would be autistic like I am, or I was afraid that I would not have in me to raise them cause of my condition. I was willing to adapt a child in the future, with enough money, but most women do not want to adapt as a compromise, from what I know.
So what do you think? I talked about it with a friend and he said that I am rejecting of my own kind, like the same way a black person in the older days, might not want to have kids, cause they fear that they will not be socially accepted as much; and I should not be ashamed of my kind. That was his analogy anyway.
What do you think?
I don't think you hold base your decision based on whether or not they maybe autistic but whether or not you will be able to parent any child with love, affection, patience, etc. If the answer is yes, than I would think whether or not the small chance your child will be autistic shouldn't really be the deciding factor.
Autism is a really broad diagnosis that covers a range of people from the highly intelligent and highly creative to those whose disabilities may prevent them from being able to live without a caregiver and to support themselves. People with severe disabilities might have a great deal of difficulty in being a parent and might not even have the maturity to be able to consent to sex. People who are highly intelligent or creative and on the spectrum will probably have no problem at all raising a child, especially if they have a spouse who is great at handling the basic details of life and making sure everything gets done...sometimes people with extraordinary intelligence or creativity can get so focused on their pursuits that they lose track of things like mealtimes and laundry, so it helps to have someone keeping track of that stuff when a small child is depending on you.
Seeing a genetic counselor might be helpful for you. Also, adoption is not the only option. Using a sperm donor would be an option, if your future wife wanted to have the experience of pregnancy and birth.
I don't think you're rejecting your own kind. I think you want to make sure you're able to provide for a child and to parent a child, and it's good to think about things like that in advance.
My niece married an autistic man. They have four children and ALL of them are autistic in varying stages. The youngest is one of those that is locked into his own world and does not communicate. I do not know if any of the others are "highly intelligent" - I met them only once - but I could tell that the other three received some very good training. The oldest is married with a family of her own now.
Autism is known to be highly hereditary. Something to consider. Can you handle your own issues and having a child with issues similar or perhaps worse than your own?
Oh see things like that which Bluesmama mentioned got me all worried. Some people say it's a small chance but Bluesmama example, was that where the parent had four autistic kids.
And yes, me and my brother are both autistic. We have a sister to, but she never showed any symptoms and seems smarter than us, so to speak.
Do you agree with the one autistic friend who told me that I am acting like one of those black people, who are afraid to have children, because of how society would treat them in the older days? Am I going against my own kind, like he said? He's autistic and has children, but do not know if they are since we are just becoming friends and have not asked him yet. But since he doesn't go against his own kind, as he puts it, he probably wouldn't have a problem with it.
Oh see things like that which Bluesmama mentioned got me all worried. Some people say it's a small chance but Bluesmama example, was that where the parent had four autistic kids.
And yes, me and my brother are both autistic. We have a sister to, but she never showed any symptoms and seems smarter than us, so to speak.
Do you agree with the one autistic friend who told me that I am acting like one of those black people, who are afraid to have children, because of how society would treat them in the older days? Am I going against my own kind, like he said? He's autistic and has children, but do not know if they are since we are just becoming friends and have not asked him yet. But since he doesn't go against his own kind, as he puts it, he probably wouldn't have a problem with it.
This is silly. Autism is certainly not heritable to the same degree as "race". Life is not a contest to see who can raise kids in the least prejudiced manner - it's about what kinds of RISKS are YOU as an individual willing to take on. You aren't showing society anything by choosing to take the risk. YOU are accepting the risk as YOU will have to raise the child, afflicted or not. This is NOT a game.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have children - I actually don't think the risk is an overwhelming one - I'm saying you should get genetic counseling if you are that concerned. Do not listen to your silly little friends who want you to "show the world".
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