Daughter had to get stomach pumped upset at sorority. (babysitter, teenagers, baby)

[AnnaGWS]

The responsibility for your daughter's behavior lies 100% on her. Please stop making excuses for her behavior. She drank alcohol. It doesn't make her a bad kid.

Use this as a learning experience. Transition your parenting style to mentoring. Give her the information she needs to make adult decisions. College is a tough transition for a lot of kids. She should be able to call you (without blame) if she needs you to help her navigate this period of her life.

Ask her how she felt being out of control of herself, being medically affected, etc.

Teach her about alcohol. Especially portion sizes.

Might as well discuss birth control while you are at it.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by wrl11

She did this to herself. You can say peer pressure, but the reality is if she would have said no, I bet her "friends" would have actually had more respect for her the next day and thought of as a stronger person. Hopefully she learned this lesson with no lasting damage done to her.

[Ms. Tarabotti]

Originally Posted by Ginerene

My daughter is a great person and has always made good grades and helped in the community but like many young people she can still make mistakes. When she went off to college she joined a sorority, I admit I was a bit apprehensive due to what kind of stuff can go on in these Greek houses whether they be sororities or fraternities but didn't say anything.

But my fears came to pass when last Saturday she ended up drinking so much she had to be taken to the hospital and get her stomach pumped. My husband and I drove over two hours to get to her when we found out. Thankfully she is okay but she is only 19 and I am furious she was allowed to drink. Neither my husband or I drink and she never drank in high school, we even warned her about it.

But I understand peer pressure especially when you are in something like a sorority, and as far as I know they are looking to find out who supplied the alcohol.

She is thankfully fine, and I am not saying she is completely innocent but the fact she was allowed access to it at all and no doubt peer pressured into it greatly bothers me. She has said she just made a mistake and doesn't want anyone to get in trouble and she said she doesn't know who supplied it.

Shouldn't this kind of stuff be closely monitored by the school?

What does your daughter being a great person and getting good grades have to do with her getting drunk?
Many college students can claim these values.

Your daughter is an adult now and is capable of making her own decisions- including decisions about whether she wants to drink or not. You don't drink and told her not to but you have no idea if she followed your advice in high school. Not all Greeks drink to the point of intoxication either and most college students consume alcohol during their time on campus.

At most you should determine whether this was a result of hazing. If it was, then the appropriate steps need to be taken. You don't know if she was 'peer pressured' into it or whether she made a conscious decision to imbibe. Why are you furious that she was 'allowed' to drink- her college has no power to stop her from drinking- she has to do that. Ultimately the responsibility for this is on her.

[chicagoliz]

It doesn't have much to do with greek vs. non-greek. It has to do with college kids.

You know how many people I knew who ended up in the hospital at some point due to over-drinking? A ton. It happens in college. Just be glad your daughter is ok.

My kids aren't college aged yet, and I'm sure I'll be worried quite a bit about this. But there is not a whole lot you can do as a parent. College kids are going to get alcohol.

[Kibbiekat]

Drinking is not allowed in sorority houses, and binge drinking happens in many settings in college, not just the Greek system.

The people she attends parties with are her peers. It is not their job to allow or not allow her to drink. She made that decision on her own, as many of us have. Don't blame the sorority or the party or the school. Blame her. Use it as a teachable moment.

[fluffypoopoo]

Let this serve as a lesson to her and hopefully she'll remember this incident when future opportunities for consuming alcohol arise.

[HighFlyingBird]

Who is paying her dues? They are not cheap. If my daughter had to get her stomach pumped at a party I was paying dues for, I wouldn't be paying them.

My oldest got someone else to pay his for a few semesters and then even he had enough. I don't approve of them,I don't care what people say about life long connections. Blah. I wouldn't pay 3K a semester for that nonsense

[HighFlyingBird]

All those saying it is a college thing, not a greek thing...I respectfully disagree. In my experience with recent college kids, greek really does bring with it extra binge drinking opportunities and an atmosphere that makes it ok. When my oldest quit his frat he started drinking much less and joined other groups that, while might have a party aspect, did a lot more.

drinking happens a lot in college, but greek life often makes it even more so...esp if they live in the house

But I do fully agree that this is all on the girl in question. No one comes along to college with you to keep an eye on your drinking habits. Its all about making your own decisions. The OP is lucky someone noticed enough to get her to the hospital!!!

[ovi8]

Just saying - I recall being hugely more responsible with decision-making at 21 than I was at 19. Must be why there's a legal age limit for alcohol. Not enough punishment or attention for underage drinking so many still casually do it.

[coschristi]

I gave myself alcohol poisoning when I was 14.

I'm 48 now & to this day I cannot STAND even a sip of alcohol...the taste...the smell...Eeww!

Maybe your daughter will have a similar experience.