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Loved and still love my sorority. Never drank myself stupid in college. Not only was I raised to be smarter than that but my parents had gradually loosened the leash enough that I was beyond prepared for college. I did feel like I was surrounded by toddlers at times though.
Plenty of kids grow up being told no drinking or drugs and then don't drink or do drugs in college.
That old chestnut is just silly.
Motivated kids with serious goals get through high school and college without doing naughty things all the time.
Spare me.
Yep. The wildest people I knew in college were those who came from the most permissive homes. Those of us who weren't allowed to drink, do drugs, party, etc. actually are still (I keep in contact with many) the most "conservative" with these things.
College is college, and drinking happens. It is the daughters fault for drinking and caving to peer pressure. It is possible to say no, even if people say otherwise.
You want the school to monitor young adults' alcohol use? Said school will also not inform you if your under-18-year-old has to go to the hospital for any reason...and will also not allow you to see their records unless they have signed a waiver allowing you to view them.
It's time for her to grow up and for you to let go, at least some. We all make mistakes. It'll be OK as long as we learn from them.
Just saying - I recall being hugely more responsible with decision-making at 21 than I was at 19. Must be why there's a legal age limit for alcohol. Not enough punishment or attention for underage drinking so many still casually do it.
Ehh I don't find that to be the case for myself, I'm 21 now and I've been pretty mature for years now. I think in college though for some people, they get introduced to intense partying for the first time and get carried away.
I think the drinking age being so high in the US is largely why there's a huge youth binge drinking culture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird
My in-laws like to serve "a little bit" of alcohol to teens in the family, pretending it was best and "European". I threw myself into researching the pros and cons (because my gut said it wasnt actually beneficial, but I wanted to be sure).
There was overwhelming evidence that the allowing children to drink "a little bit" correlated to alcoholism later on.
I didn't find it to be an exact cause, but enough for me to think providing your child with alcohol isn't advisable.
I'm not sure how true the bolded is
Also, kids are gonna drink whether or not they're allowed to. As young as 15, I had a lot of peers who were into binge drinking and I'm pretty sure their parents didn't give them any alcohol. Just like lots of teens smoke weed, I'm sure most of their parents don't allow it. That's just part of being a teenager.
I started drinking at 15, I'm 21 now and drink probably once a week.
Loved and still love my sorority. Never drank myself stupid in college. Not only was I raised to be smarter than that but my parents had gradually loosened the leash enough that I was beyond prepared for college. I did feel like I was surrounded by toddlers at times though.
I didn't have good parents but I was allowed to party as early as I wanted (starting around 12). I was lucky but 18 I was soooooo over it. I only lasted in the dorms for a week before moving out in a rental room. I might has well been with a group of toddlers...well toddlers who wanted to have sex and drink heavily. I just wanted to study.
Ehh I don't find that to be the case for myself, I'm 21 now and I've been pretty mature for years now. I think in college though for some people, they get introduced to intense partying for the first time and get carried away.
I think the drinking age being so high in the US is largely why there's a huge youth binge drinking culture.
I'm not sure how true the bolded is
Also, kids are gonna drink whether or not they're allowed to. As young as 15, I had a lot of peers who were into binge drinking and I'm pretty sure their parents didn't give them any alcohol. Just like lots of kids smoke weed, I'm sure most of their parents don't allow it.
I started drinking at 15, I'm 21 now and drink probably once a week.
I wish I had written a paper. I did many hours worth of research on it. This isn't about kids who drink, it is only about parents who supply alcohol to their kids.
There are some other variables. It could be that parents who allow kids to drink as teens have drinking problems, so their kids would be more likely to (genes or example). There is also cultural issues at play.
My daughter is a great person and has always made good grades and helped in the community but like many young people she can still make mistakes. When she went off to college she joined a sorority, I admit I was a bit apprehensive due to what kind of stuff can go on in these Greek houses whether they be sororities or fraternities but didn't say anything.
But my fears came to pass when last Saturday she ended up drinking so much she had to be taken to the hospital and get her stomach pumped. My husband and I drove over two hours to get to her when we found out. Thankfully she is okay but she is only 19 and I am furious she was allowed to drink. Neither my husband or I drink and she never drank in high school, we even warned her about it.
But I understand peer pressure especially when you are in something like a sorority, and as far as I know they are looking to find out who supplied the alcohol.
She is thankfully fine, and I am not saying she is completely innocent but the fact she was allowed access to it at all and no doubt peer pressured into it greatly bothers me. She has said she just made a mistake and doesn't want anyone to get in trouble and she said she doesn't know who supplied it.
Shouldn't this kind of stuff be closely monitored by the school?
Your kid is an adult. Stop pointing fingers at anyone but her.
You have a great opportunity here to make sure she understands this one is 100% on her....don't helicopter in and make excuses.
She is thankfully fine, and I am not saying she is completely innocent but the fact she was allowed access to it at all and no doubt peer pressured into it greatly bothers me. She has said she just made a mistake and doesn't want anyone to get in trouble and she said she doesn't know who supplied it.
Shouldn't this kind of stuff be closely monitored by the school?
"Allowed" access? You mean, she actually picked up a glass and drank it? Someone wasn't standing by the bar and saying, "NO! YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS! NO ALCOHOL FOR YOU!!"? Oh, puh-leeze.
She's handling this better than you are -- she's had a valuable lesson, and I suspect she will govern herself more strictly from now on, because these kinds of events tend to be memorable.
What kind of "stuff" should be closely monitored by the school? The same school that won't even tell you what your child's grades are because they are over 18? THAT school? A university isn't Mommy & Daddy U -- there is an assumption that the students, who are almost all over 18, are able to take responsibility for their own actions.
It's an assumption that you probably need to adopt. OK, you were there for her, and that's fantastic. But don't go looking to blame anyone else for this incident -- at least, don't look any further than your own daughter. She's figured that out. Time for you to figure it out, too.
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