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Spent some time last weekend with a family friend. Noticed that, in reference to her child, she made an excuse for her child's actions. Not once or twice, but every time a story was told about her child.
For example, her child used to do track, but no longer does. The mom quickly said, well, that's because we don't have very good track facilities in our new city.
Or she went to swim camp, and she lost the race at the end of camp. That was due to, apparently, the instructors not teaching her the particular stroke, and the other kids had instruction outside of swim camp and that is why they won.
I could go on and on, but each and every story always included an excuse on why someone else didn't do their job, didn't do a good job. It was never "she didn't try hard enough" or "she didn't want to". Always the fault of someone else.
Do you do this?
Kind of like, "my work schedule makes things hard?"
My aunt is a good one for excuses. her daughter does heroin because her teeth are bad.
Her father paid to get her teeth replaced with dentures full set. Low and behold her daughter still does heroin. Part of the reason her daughter is the way she is, is she lived a life where nothing was her fault, always someone elses fault
Wow, I have never heard that excuse for being an heroin addict before.
My kids are too young at this point for me to really think about making excuses or not. I would imagine that when the time comes, if excuses are warranted then i will make them and if they are not then i wont. I imagine that knowing myself, I typically dont care much about what other parents think of me so i probably wont bother. Perhaps, the mom in question felt she or her daughter was being judged and she started making excuses. Perhaps that just how they roll, and I would tune off, if i found it annoying and not listen.
I do know that I try not to judge what other parents are doing as I may never know the full story. Like the PP, that has a daughter with OCD, in her situation, i think its way easier to make excuses than to have to explain my child's specific medical situation.
One thing that I have found common here on CD, is that when it comes to parenting, there's so much judgment. Correlation often seem to be equal to causation. There's the folks that seem to believe that children that dont work through high school and college wont amount to anything yet I'm sure most people know tons of very successful adults who never had to work through school. And lots of other judgments everywhere. Yeah, there's the one that if your parents pay for college then you will goof off, and yet again, thats not always the case.
I just think that its impossible to see what is happening in another family's life if you are not in it. Sometimes, even if you are in it, you never get the full picture. All i know is that we do and cope as we can
I heard a psychologist say: Parents tend to take too much credit for their children's accomplishments and not enough credit for their failures. Maybe it applies to this mother in some way; like having her child in activities which don't interest him and then blaming others for his lack of success.
I heard a psychologist say: Parents tend to take too much credit for their children's accomplishments and not enough credit for their failures. Maybe it applies to this mother in some way; like having her child in activities which don't interest him and then blaming others for his lack of success.
Even though you're agreeing with me, I'm tired of parents getting blamed for every d*mn thing.
My aunt is a good one for excuses.her daughter does heroin because her teeth are bad. Her father paid to get her teeth replaced with dentures full set. Low and behold her daughter still does heroin. Part of the reason her daughter is the way she is, is she lived a life where nothing was her fault, always someone elses fault
That girl had "meth mouth". Because she, at some time in the past, used methamphetamine long enough for her teeth to rot out. Heroin is just another drug of choice for her and it's in vogue again.
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