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Ok well I have to say I do have an older dictionary but I bought about 10 years ago so it should still be sorta current right? LOL
Mine is probably about that old too. I'll have to run upstairs and get it. But looking on wikpedia...... Gay - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
At least they give the changes the term has made thru the ages.
Instead now the "insults" will be............
"geez, your happy"
"your such a happy dork"
"how happy"
"can you be any more happy"
"don't be so happy"
"your acting happy"
I would express my disapproval (as you did) and let it go. Kids say these things to one another, and while it's not nice and not acceptable, it's not really bullying if it's between friends and meant lightheartedly. Good job on being vigilant, though... I'm a mama bear like that myself.
I told my daughter that I posted this on City-Data and was relieved that all you nice parents agreed I should let it go. She was terrified at one of the suggestions that Adam calls Carson's bluff and say "Yeah, I'm gay. Wanna hang out?! Her face was PRICELESS!!! She said though, sometimes, the equivalent but nicer word in middle school parlance was "fruity". That is sooo fruity!
Okay..please bear with me as I have to provide the background on this. Here are the players (names changed):
My daughter - Katie - 13, 8th grade
Her good friend - Ann, 8th grade
Carson - Ann's current heartthrob
Adam - my son, 11, 6th grade
Adam inadvertently became the subject of discussion among Katie, Ann and Carson at the lunch table. Carson thought it was amusing and downright juvie for Adam to be playing the internet game Runescape and said only gays like that game. As a joke, Ann suggested that Carson write Adam a note expressing his disapproval. Carson writes note, Adam laughs it off. Note said something to the effect that anyone playing Runescape is gay.
Mom (that's me) finds note on kitchen counter and told Katie and Adam I was going to send a copy to the principal as I did not appreciate anyone calling anyone gay, least of all my son, who could care less (he was much too secure in his stash of testosterone!). Both kids whine...Katie defends it as a joke. She did not want to be in bad terms with friend Ann. Ann thinks now she was a bad friend and thinks I'm upset with her. Adam whines too...he thinks it would open himself up for further retaliation from Carson and the other 8th graders. Alternative 2: Carson needs to write a letter of apology to Adam. More whining...I held my ground.
Next day a letter comes to Adam from Carson. I'm sorry, he said. I was just kidding. Let's hang out sometime...(cute)
Am I overreacting to this letter? I just thought that I should send home the message to this boy that it is not alright to be calling someone that. This is how all these school shootings happen. At the same time, should I put both my children in a position where their overly cautious Mom makes trouble for a simple joke and puts a damper on their popularity, or in the case of my son, open him up for future ridicule and bullying?
Thoughts from parents?
You are overreacting. Sorry! I also agree, and don't consider that bullying (at all). You would open him up for future ridicule! I also don't know why you would bring this to the principal!!! If you REALLY wanted to discuss this, I would have a sit down with the kids and explain why calling someone "gay" is not a good thing to do.
I think as parents, if you promote gay/lesbian tolerance, you should be disapproving of use of the word "gay". Sure its slang, I hear it at work, even. But you have to react and disapprove, so your children know your expectations for their behavior. Are they going to keep saying it when you're not around? Most likely, but at least (hopefully) it will plant the seed and someday they'll start thinking about what a perjorative and harmful term it is.
I think as parents, if you promote gay/lesbian tolerance, you should be disapproving of use of the word "gay". Sure its slang, I hear it at work, even. But you have to react and disapprove, so your children know your expectations for their behavior. Are they going to keep saying it when you're not around? Most likely, but at least (hopefully) it will plant the seed and someday they'll start thinking about what a perjorative and harmful term it is.
On this one, I disagree... "gay" has many meanings and contexts... moving it to the point you want then the word just became politicized and only has one meaning/context...
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figures don't tell my kids though.
She was terrified at one of the suggestions that Adam calls Carson's bluff and say "Yeah, I'm gay. Wanna hang out?! Her face was PRICELESS!!! She said though, sometimes, the equivalent but nicer word in middle school parlance was "fruity". That is sooo fruity!
