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I had to place my 10 yr. old son in a residential live in school courtesy of anger outbursts. They can earn time home if they behave. He's earned time for Thanksgiving. I went to pick him yesterday. The majority of the teachers and staff there are women. They're trained how to sit on the boys there if they have outbursts. It's where 1 of the ladies will take a boy off to the side, or out into the hall ad sit on him until he calms down and can rejoin the class/group. She'll put him lying on his belly, hands held behind his lower back and sit over his thighs. My son has seen this happen o several occasions, including yesterday when I went to pick him up. I witnessed it as well. This 1 boy in the hall was cussing and waving his arms. This 1 lady, probably in her 40's, simply got him lying on his belly, held his hands firmly behind his lower back, put 1 leg over each of his and sat on his thighs. He cursed at her, trying everything to push her off of him. Her tush and legs never moved at all, and she held his hands easily behind his lower back. My son watched this, and the boy saw him. They know each other. He begged my son to help him push her off, saying he can't. My son looked at me, then back at the boy and starting walking away with me. The boy began crying profusely then, seeing he was going to continue getting sat on by her. After we got in the car, my son began bragging that if she tries to ever sit on him, he'll push her off easily. From what I saw, that won't happen. She's well trained, as are the other staff there. That boy knew it too. I don't want my son to suffer the humiliation from 1 of those ladies that I saw on that boy's face. He cried very hard. It didn't take long for his bragging to disappear. My son would suffer the same humiliation. I don't want that to happen, but he's adamant he's tougher than those boys. How do I get through to him? Thank you.
I think you need to talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist about that. This is a really specialized problem. He might need to be sat on a few times to realize he isn't going to get away with that behavior.
I assume you did your homework and it's the best option for your son. Don't let your fear of him being humiliated make you second guess that. Behaviors have consequences and if he attacks someone, he will be restrained.
Take your son out of there. Change environment, change school, change your neighborhood, change his diet, change how you interact with him.
Whatever you do, do not forfeit the privilage of your being his parent and your duty.
He is only 10 years old. You have only so much time to turn things around.
Do not surrender to the heartless modern cruelty called "treatment" like that.
That isn't cruel. That is how you manage a out of control child. A rubber room is worse.
You don't know what she went through to get here. People don't just ship off their kids because they are bored of parenting. They do it when they have nothing left. And there are plenty of kids who have major psych illnesses and can not be managed at home
As for the previous "women? That goes against my experiences". Have you been to every therapeutic home in the world? I've seen lots of women working there. More women then men. But I haven't seen them all.
As for the previous "women? That goes against my experiences". Have you been to every therapeutic home in the world? I've seen lots of women working there. More women then men. But I haven't seen them all.
I didn't see myself but it's common to sit on a child to restrain them, the way the op shared. I've seen a foster mom do it. Sadly, I have had to do it as well. I'd rather have a female doing it then a male. Once you get leverage on them, it's not a hard hold. You don't have to be big or strong.
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