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With my first child I didn't leave him home alone until he was about 10(5th grade). I would leave him home alone, but not with the other kids. There weren't that many opportunities for him to be home alone since he was the oldest. I was ok with him being alone for a short period (under an hour) if I was someplace local.
My second child was sick and he was around 9 years old (4th grade). I had been home with him all day. He had some viral infection and was not seriously ill but he was tired and didn't want to go anywhere. I had to go get my youngest child from school, about 2 miles away. He just wanted to rest and BEGGED me to leave him home alone. He promised up and down he would just lay on the couch, watch tv, not answer the door, and wait for me to get home. I let him stay home. From then on I left him alone for very short periods of time if I was local.
When my youngest child was 10 (5th grade) I had about a 30-60 minute gap between when he got home and when I got home. He really wanted to go home right after school so he could do his homework. He said it was distracting to do homework at aftercare. He PROMISED he would walk straight home from the bus, take a snack from the pantry, let the dog out, and do his homework. We agreed to try it with the understanding that if it didn't work out we would put him in aftercare. He was fine and we kept up the arrangement for the whole school year.
My daughter had a fifth grad graduation. By your definition that is a "coming of age" celebration. They do not have a 8th grade graduation.
If you actually read your links, many states do not have a minimum age allowed. Kids start to think like adults when they are taught to think and be responsible like adults. They are taught by having real life conversations and given responsibility.
I work in the LEO community, so my children are a little more aware than most children.
I see.
I did read the link(s), and I have had these discussions before. I know that most states have no laws. In fact, for my state, Colorado, they have 12*. However, I have read in more Colorado-specific sites that most judges use 10 as the age under which it is not OK to leave a child home alone. By my definition, a 5th grade graduation is not a "coming of age" celebration, nor is a pre-school or kindergarten "graduation". In fact, my kids' elementary school has 5th grade continuation parties.
Quote:
Originally Posted by turf3
Wow!
I definitely remember walking to school by myself at 7. By the time I was 10 I would go everywhere within our little neighborhood (not crossing any major streets) on my bike. I definitely remember being at my grandmother's apartment and riding my bike around and around the block it was on, and that was with training wheels so I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 (She was inside, not outside watching me.) This was in a major city, not out in the country or some small town.
What's this about kids that are afraid to be left alone at 10?
I really think some of you ought to reconsider how tightly you keep your children attached to your apron strings. I know people whose 16 and 17 year olds can't drive, don't want to learn how, and are afraid to do so. Really?
Are you really equating walking to school and playing outside with being left home alone with no adult supervision, not even an adult inside to go to if there was a problem?
What age did I leave my kids alone and what is the proper age might be 2 different things, plus we all have our own ideas. I am not sure what age I left mine, but I am guessing about 8 or 9. I would leave our oldest daughter and take the little ones unless they were playing at friend's homes. Right now, our granddaughter is faced with a choice. Her older daughter is 10 1/2 and will be entering middle school. She has been left alone for up to an hour in the past but now wants to be able to come home from school and stay by herself until her parents get home from work. I think she will get out of school and on the bus about 3pm. Her parents get home anywhere from 5pm to 6pm. Her mom is a nurse practitioner and works long shifts sometimes. Other times she has days off. Hubby gets home about 6pm. They haven't decided for sure if they will let her stay alone which will be a couple hours a day or not. She is mature, but also still only 10. By the time my kids were 11 or 12 they were baby sitting kids in the neighborhoods.
Am more than happy to leave my 6 year old home alone for twenty minutes or so now, building up towards August when she'll have at least two days a week when she'll be home alone for an hour or two (depending on how long it takes her to walk home from preschool) or possibly alone every morning for about an hour (depends on whether I'll be carrying on with my second job or not though I'm leaning towards no because I'd rather see her off in the mornings to be sure she leaves on time)
I've discussed this plan with her social worker who has no problem with it before anyone worries it might be neglectful or illegal - its not in Finland, where children are expected to be responsible and independent from a younger age than in many other countries.
I was walking to the school alone, staying home and running around with a home key on a shoelace around my neck since I was 6 year old girl. Was totally happy, and never thought it is something abnormal.
Of course, laws are frequently interpreted insanely, but that's meant to address situations where a kid is left alone for days or weeks, not for half an hour. Unless the kid burns the house down, they are not going to starve to death, die of dehydration, etc., in an hour or two.
Understood and I believe I stated that; however, some people here are saying they would or have been left alone at 6 or 7. If something was to happen to them during those 5-20 miniutes of the parents being gone, Im sure the law would use that against them. Also a lot of us are saying as kids we were left alone at a young age. Myself included. I walked a mile to school alone at 5. I'm in my 40's. It's a different day and age.
Yes, it is. But that's how kids think. The older one was actually almost 11. People sometimes hire 11 year olds for babysitters. Think about that.
Always some excuse. The same thing could happen in your "very upper class safe area". Kids aren't trained LEOs. Kids do not think like adults, period. Almost every society, primitive to sophisticated, has some sort of "coming of age" ceremony at around 13. Here in the US, think 8th grade graduation, confirmation at church, Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, etc. That's the age when kids start to think like adults. The process isn't finished for a long time.
Your link says 49 of the 50 states allows latchkey kids before 8th grade graduation - - maybe 43 out of 50 if you count the six "unknown" states.
Good numbers of elementary school students walk to my son's elementary school without adult supervision (could be anywhere up to probably 8 blocks away). Now oftentimes they are in groups and I'm guessing they are the 4th and 5th graders - - but they are also dealing with traffic, a danger obviously not found in the home.
If you wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the child longer than five minutes, he's probably too young. Otoh, he might be ready; you might not be.
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