What trait (if any) do you dislike in your child?

[CGab]

#1 Is WAY too sensitive and now that she is almost 12 it's becoming a problem because she cries very easily. The great thing is that she is the sweetest kid you'll ever meet and is liked by everyone!


#2 Is the total opposite of #1. She is VERY outgoing which is great, but must have her way which is not so great.

[mochamajesty]

As someone who had horrible parents, this thread fascinates me.

I was always the 'crazy' one to my mom - yes, she actually called me that to my face.
My mom and my sister get along fine, as they are just alike.

It hurts to know that your parent likes your sibling more than you.

Now don't get me wrong, my mother loves me and would do anything for me now, but it hurts to know that she doesn't like me as much as my sister.

As I read this thread, I get an underlying sense of, "Jimmy is (insert whatever trait here). Oh, well.".

Let me ask, can you change these unlikable traits in your child, or are you just resigned to them?

How much influence does parenting have?

[SoftSleepyKitten]

Originally Posted by mochamajesty

As someone who had horrible parents, this thread fascinates me.

I was always the 'crazy' one to my mom - yes, she actually called me that to my face.
My mom and my sister get along fine, as they are just alike.

It hurts to know that your parent likes your sibling more than you.

Now don't get me wrong, my mother loves me and would do anything for me now, but it hurts to know that she doesn't like me as much as my sister.

As I read this thread, I get an underlying sense of, "Jimmy is (insert whatever trait here). Oh, well.".

Let me ask, can you change these unlikable traits in your child, or are you just resigned to them?

How much influence does parenting have?

I think for most traits it is worth accepting then.
Especially if it is just a preference.

For example my eldest is a perfectionist which can be annoying to me but this trait helps with his school work, projects and clubs.

There are other traits like being controlling that I interfere more with but overall it can be good he likes to take control over a situation.

As parents we will have unlikeable traits too.

[DubbleT]

Originally Posted by mochamajesty

Let me ask, can you change these unlikable traits in your child, or are you just resigned to them?

How much influence does parenting have?

Good question. I don't think as parents we can change those traits, not in my experience at least. I think our children can change themselves to a small extent, if they find the motivation to do so. (My unambitious daughter decided it would be worthwhile to go back to school and finish her degree when she realized that having no ambition at all meant not having any kind of worthwhile life)
I agree with sleepykitten that even the traits we dislike have an upside to them that make them easier to deal with. My daughter's lack of ambition goes hand in hand with a lack of greed or desire for material things, and a willingness to accept people from all walks of life without judging them on superficial things like cars, clothing, status, etc. So it balances out IMO