A while back I posted this thread found here....
http://www.city-data.com/forum/paren...-may-want.html
Many of you replied with encouragement, insight and support for which I am forever grateful.
My son did come back home officially as of around 3/3/08 and agreed to a home rules agreement on 3/6/08. I thought I'd come back and give an update as to how things are going.
Ever since he broke up with the girlfriend and has been back home I have seen my son back. It was almost as day and night when they broke up as when he first changed being with her.
He has been abiding by the agreement completely. Doesn't go out often at all and when he does he is back home earlier than expected. He's pretty much dropped all the friends that he acquired during the relationship which all were not on the right path themselves.
He is attending school and working towards catching up and obtaining his graduation status come this May.
He's been looking for employment and has something promising but waiting on final decision from regional manager.
He knows that I am proceeding with my marriage plans and relocation plans come June and had stated at the beginning that he wanted to stay here where we live now. Being that he is 19 I saw that as his choice to make though he was always part of the plan to relocate as well.
However, he is looking at things a bit more realisticly now and understands taht he probably will not have enough money saved up to do this responsibly by the time I move. He is currently without a car and needs to save up money to get one as well as a place to live, utility deposits, etc.
He and a previous ex-girlfriend have been talking. This is a girlfriend that they broke up for silly, immature reasons and were really each other's first love. I like her and she has a good head on her shoulder. Well they have been talking and she has been encouraging him to do what in the long run will be better for him and that it will not affect where they are right now.
As a result, my son yesterday asked if we could talk and asked me if he could still come with me when I move. This is going back to what we had originally talked about where my fiancee was going to hook him up with a job where he works, he could live with us for a couple of months, contribute some towards food, utilities and save money to be able to set up a place of his own.
The girl he is talking to is 18 and saving herself to move out as well. My son and her are taking it slow and she told him that they can see each other on weekends, much like my fiancee and I have been doing.
Her parents are possibly going to be getting a divorce and selling the house she grew up in so she told my son that she would actually like to move from here. She said that if everything goes well with them and they work out that she would even consider moving to where we are going and they can continue the relationship and possibly get a place of their own.
All in all everything is going great. His dress and appearance has improved and is back to how he was prior to the other girl he was with when all the problems happened. Right now the only thing that is still in the process of being fixed is his language basically as being on the street and around the people he was with curse words was a very common thing. He sometimes says them and doesn't even realize with what ease they come out over just simple things like playing a game or describing something he saw. I am pointing it out to him when it occurs and he apologizes and the frequency is reducing.
He was out in this environment for 3 months and out on the street living from place to place for 2 of those months so I can not and do not expect it to be overnight so am more focused on the effort that he is making, especially when they are being used in a manner that is not intended to be disrespectful.
So anyway... that's the update. Thank you all for the support you offered me on these boards and for those of you that held my family in prayer. God does answer prayers and I thank him everyday for that.
Mari
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