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You don't keep your child from drinking. They will get it somewhere.
You teach your child how to drink responsibly.
Teenagers will not abstain.
Not true. Some do. My daughter never touched alcohol until she was almost 20 and in her second year of college. Her father was an alcoholic, and she was terrified that if she drank, she would find out she was one, too.
And guess what. She is. I think her struggle to stay sober would be harder if she had been drinking since her teenage years.
But there are a fair amount of kids who don't drink.
So both of your kids are not coping well, the 18 year old you posted on another thread is basically freeloading and now the 16 year old thinks your home is a party house. You may want to consider therapy for yourself to understand why you enable this unacceptable behavior from them.
If they threaten they will move out/leave then you should be ecstatic, it might be the kick in the behind that they both need to bring them back to reality and maybe appreciate what they have at home. They both sound abusive imo.
No offense but if my child threatened to leave, I would help them pack their bags. They have to understand that a family is a team and you work together for the greater good of all and not be self absorbed to the point where the parent is walking on eggshells in their own home.
At this point, I would probably teach responsible drinking.
Don't drive, don't over do it, always know your surroundings, never go to sleep on your back (I had an uncle die this way), and always make your own drinks.
I usually err on the more conservative side, but one thing my dad did was encouraged me to drink at home. I know it sounds crazy. But, it's worked for my sister and I. As an adult I very rarely drink. I never got so sloppy drunk that people could take advantage of me.
My dad would make me watered down adult drinks (Mint Juleps, Mudslides, White Russians, etc.). They were really into malt beer or different flavors. I'd come home and he'd be like, "Want to try this peach IPA?"
Idk, it just never was something, "cool," to do, because my parents made it lame. Nothing new to try really either since Dad covered everything from absinthe to MD2020 to draught Guinness....etc. Very rarely I'll have a small cup of red wine, or a vodka & cranberry if we go out. That's it & not even annually.
I'm sure there's some statistic against that, but your son is already doing it.
One thing that really turned me off from drugs/alcohol was talking to addicts and watching a few of my parents friends die. My mom was always an incoherent sloppy drunk too, perhaps you could pretend to be drunk and act really embarrassing? Get creative...I'd probably even make fun of him for the Bud light...teens hate their, "cool," rebellions being turned into a laughing stock.
One of my ex's mom's died of liver failure. It's not a pretty way to go...I'm sure you could find some images online of how the body looks while dying and jaundice.
But, make sure he knows the law, the implications of caught (MIP perhaps?) and safety.
Not true. Some do. My daughter never touched alcohol until she was almost 20 and in her second year of college. Her father was an alcoholic, and she was terrified that if she drank, she would find out she was one, too.
And guess what. She is. I think her struggle to stay sober would be harder if she had been drinking since her teenage years.
But there are a fair amount of kids who don't drink.
Of course there are SOME kids who don't drink - but the majority will at least try alcohol and/or drugs, sex, and all of that good stuff. So I agree with the other poster, in that it's more important to teach them responsible use. Sort of like the old sex education vs abstinence education debate, where again, I (and many others) feel it's better to prepare them than pretend they'll listen to "NO."
Of course there are SOME kids who don't drink - but the majority will at least try alcohol and/or drugs, sex, and all of that good stuff. So I agree with the other poster, in that it's more important to teach them responsible use. Sort of like the old sex education vs abstinence education debate, where again, I (and many others) feel it's better to prepare them than pretend they'll listen to "NO."
I do agree that it's important to teach them responsible use with alcohol. My dd had the same boyfriend all through high school, starting when she was 14. I made sure she knew to let me know when she wanted to go on birth control and that she should be on it before. When she was 16, she asked me to take her.
But I was just saying that she and her group of friends in high school were all non-drinkers. Some do exist.
My exh and I used to say, "Why isn't she out drinking and smoking pot in the woods like we were at her age?"
Location: The Land Mass Between NOLA and Mobile, AL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
I do agree that it's important to teach them responsible use with alcohol. My dd had the same boyfriend all through high school, starting when she was 14. I made sure she knew to let me know when she wanted to go on birth control and that she should be on it before. When she was 16, she asked me to take her.
But I was just saying that she and her group of friends in high school were all non-drinkers. Some do exist.
My exh and I used to say, "Why isn't she out drinking and smoking pot in the woods like we were at her age?"
I agree with Mightyqueen here. I can empathize with how hard parenting must be. However, when I was a teen, I was what many would define as "bad." I smoked dope and drank too much. I also always had a part-time job, and when the time came, at 18, I moved out and paid rent for myself. I learned from my mistakes. Although it is undoubtedly heartbreaking to do so, parents have to learn to let their kids sink or swim. That doesn't mean they should take away the proverbial net. Life is and will always be the best teacher. Wishing the OP the best.
I do not think - as my children are only 7 and 3 at this stage - that my goal will ever be to prevent them drinking it. Rather I will over a long period of time help to nurture an informed and experienced and mature relationship with alcohol that will then be long established in them _whenever_ they themselves start to drink it.
And that will likely involve me - as a parent - ensuring I am the one that introduces them to alcohol and their early experiences with it. Ensuring that as they learn its effects - and their own limits - that they do so safely with me as their parent rather than around other boys and girls that might take advantage of their vulnerability while using it.
I do not think - as my children are only 7 and 3 at this stage - that my goal will ever be to prevent them drinking it. Rather I will over a long period of time help to nurture an informed and experienced and mature relationship with alcohol that will then be long established in them _whenever_ they themselves start to drink it.
And that will likely involve me - as a parent - ensuring I am the one that introduces them to alcohol and their early experiences with it. Ensuring that as they learn its effects - and their own limits - that they do so safely with me as their parent rather than around other boys and girls that might take advantage of their vulnerability while using it.
Good luck. I hope it works for you. It didn't with our oldest son.
You don't keep your child from drinking. They will get it somewhere.
You teach your child how to drink responsibly.
Teenagers will not abstain.
This
I grew up where wine at the dinner table was normal. As a young teen, I was allowed to get drunk in a safe setting so I could learn my limits and learn why a hangover the next morning isn't such a great thing.
If you have alcoholism in your family history, you probably need a different approach. For most people, you're way better off teaching teens how to drink responsibly.
because at 16 the child can legally just leave. if you try too hard to enforce rules like that, it can leave home or run away and just drink way too much on its own.
he drink bud lidght everyday and get drunk with friends
Why?
Where does he get the money for the beer?
This young man and likely the immediate family need counseling
This is self-destructive behavior and it doesn't happen in a vacuum
There are reasons--whether peer pressure and boredom or other issues--pushing him into this behavior rather than others
And unless the REASONS change, the boy won't...
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Wishing the OP the best.
