How do you deal with your kids hearing profanities in public? (teens, games)
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When I was a kid growing up in NYC, whenever I hear adults shouting or using profanities in public, my parents would tell me to close my ears and try not to listen to adults saying bad words. Living in NYC I would hear profanities used often in certain parts but not always. Then in public school, I rarely hear profanities until high school in NYC.
My kids told me that other kids use profanities often in 3rd grade and up. Then in public we often hear adults using profanities openly unless we avoid going to certain parts of NYC or avoid certain places like subway trains or malls.
Now I've already educate my kids about what profanities are and that they should not be used at all because it's not nice if you say it all the time and it's disrespectful. But my son said that his friends parents use profanities at them all the time.
I would tell my children those people must not have any soap at home when they were young or their parents would have washed out their mouths with soap and gotten rid of their dirty mouths. In other words, they were not brought up right so it is better to stay away from them.
Whether it's to tell kids our adults, I always think that people who use a lot of profanities just have a limited vocabulary and are unable to describe their feelings in a more intelligent way.
When my kids were little, I told them those were rude words and not to say them. I middle school, that changed to not saying them outside of the house. I can't control what anyone else does, so my kids were going to hear those words. They just needed to know those weren't polite words and even if they heard other people using them, they weren't allowed to do it too.
We didn't see it a whole lot. I just pointed out to my kids that it didn't sound nice to hear that in someone else's conversation when we were out and about. I didn't want them to be like that. They're teens now. We are transitioning to the adult world. I allow curse words behind closed doors because it's not a sanitized world out there where no one curses.. I'd prefer they not use the F bomb. If I hear a discussion that is too salty, I say something.
Whether it's to tell kids our adults, I always think that people who use a lot of profanities just have a limited vocabulary and are unable to describe their feelings in a more intelligent way.
I agree, and that's what I used to tell my children.
They are just words that arbitrarily became "bad". They are just letters that form sounds that have meaning.
Don't like certain words? Then just clearly explain to you children why you think "x" word is bad, but "y" isn't, when the meaning is the same.
Now, using ANY word to defame or insult another person or group of people is always wrong. It's not the specific words being used, it is the intent that is mean and derogatory.
My kid spent her first 10 years coming to adult softball games and tournaments. You hear a lot of swearing at those! :lol We told her when she was little that there are adult words just like there are adult drinks, and they aren't for kids.
We couldn't tell her that any people who swore were disgusting people because there were a lot of great friends and acquaintances who might throw out a bad one when they got caught out or whatever. Which is different from people who throw f-bombs constantly as nouns, verbs, adverbs, all in the same sentence.
They're just words. Words that have a place and time and yes, sometimes a use for getting a point across. I heard my mom swear a very few times in my life, and you can bet I remember those times!
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr
Now, using ANY word to defame or insult another person or group of people is always wrong. It's not the specific words being used, it is the intent that is mean and derogatory.
Yes, absolutely! I can have at 'er like a sailor on shore leave, but I have never sworn at someone.
Luckily we didn't come across a lot of cuss words in public, but if we did and it was a "drive by" this situation that was over and done, I would ignore it at first. If the kids said something about it, I would just say something about how they had forgotten their manners for a minute.
When we first got season tickets to the local NFL games, when my oldest were about 5, we soon discovered that the four guys with season tickets behind us were constantly making lewd and crude profane comments about the cheerleaders.
In the second quarter my husband turned around and said, "We're sitting here with our kids, and we can hear ever word you're saying. Y'all can have a good time without cussing like that."
And they stopped. I couldn't believe it, but I think just being called out on it worked.
As for people who cuss at or in front of their kids, that's a short-sighted and trashy way to live.
They are words that most people find to be impolite. Some people choose to use them, and that is their decision. Everyone has different opinions remember! Some people only use them when they get hurt or are very, very angry. I'd prefer you do not use them, at least until you grow up.
What else is there to say? You can't go around saying, "Those are bad people!" about everyone who curses.
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