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My 22yo stepson doesn't get it yet. His wife doesn't get it yet. My two daughters don't get it yet. Finally, my 20yo stepdaughter has her head on straight, got her associates degree and joined the National Guard to pay for her remaining college. She reports for basic in January after her fall Junior semester.
Rare holiday weekend for my stepson. How many 3 day weekends does a private employee give you if you don't work for a bank....2? .... Instead of meeting me and my wife at one of CT's few major fairs this weekend, so his mother (Oma) can dote on her 3 year old granddaughter and we can eat bad for you fair food, OR, catching up on house projects (they bought a huge house last April and to date have only painted 2 rooms....2 rooms in almost 5 months. They are totally house poor) he grabbed long weekend overtime shifts at work. So his weekend is sleep in, have breakfast, and has no time to accomplish much at home before he reports to work mid afternoon....He'll have a fat paycheck, but he is sacrificing the few precious years of holiday weekend things, like Oma and me doing fair things with their 3 year old, because when she is 6, it won't be as exciting for her to look at chickens and rabbits an sheep. He has no holiday weekend fun at the expense of his wife, his child, and his mother....for a couple hundred bucks. And Oma had open heart surgery (triple bypass) last November and has not recovered yet.... Yeah, she can live another 20 years until her 70's, or she can die tonight. She is in constant pain.... I don't think her son gets that.
My two daughters, no clue...they stopped responding to my text messages and didn't bother to show up for my dad's 88th birthday last week...did not even respond to my text messages. Embarrassing to respond to questions about where my daughters were. Except for the one in Colorado, all but one of my dad's grandkids showed up.
Especially with my stepson, one would think that he would be looking forward to a few days off.... he has a tough and dangerous job... Almost lost half a finger last month.
Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-29-2018 at 01:43 PM..
Reason: Any poster can respond to your thread as long as it is on topic
Choosing to work for overtime rather than kicking back at the fair seems to be the opposite of self-absorbed... ? You said that they're house-poor, so I'm sure they need the money. If you're so concerned about whether their house gets painted, maybe you can volunteer to help. Oma can visit with her granddaughter while you and the adult kids tackle house chores one Saturday afternoon.
You must be exhausted trying to run some many lives.
I'm truly sorry your wife had surgery and I'm sure that rocked your world. On the other hand, trying to force adults to do what you want them to do is a waste of energy. I'm not sure it matters to your stepson that he's not painting his house as quickly as you would like. Maybe they have an unexpected expense coming up that they need his overtime pay for--didn't you say they're house poor? I think if he'd turned down the overtime you'd have a problem with that too.
And if your text messages to the other steps and your bio children are anything like this post, no wonder they stopped responding.
Try to enjoy the activities you have. Try a less abrasive approach with all the children, they might be more receptive and you'd be able to see your granddaughter more.
As for children not attending family gatherings--I've never taken credit for my kids' achievements, I surely won't take the blame for their failings. If anyone says anything about their absence, offer the kids' contact info so the nosy-nelly can ask them directly.
That was hard to follow. I don't think working OT on a holiday weekend is self absorbed. There will be other weekends. Many others before the 3 year old turns 6.
I agree with the others. From the description in the opening post, I don't feel the stepson is self-absorbed. In fact, I admire a kid that age who's willing to work overtime to support his family. Good for him! There will be other weekends in the future.
OP, I suspect you tend to meddle too much in the lives of your bio and step kids and that your persistent disapproval is what keeps them from responding to your text messages. (Just a guess, based on your opening post only.) Give them a little time, and when you do talk with them try not to be judgmental. They are entitled to live their lives as they choose. Hopefully they will come around in time and you will all be close one day.
PS - I'm over 60 and I still get a kick out of looking at the rabbits, chickens, pigs and other animals at fairs.
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So your stepson has a job, a house, and a family that he supports... But somehow that all makes him self absorbed?
You don't care about his need to support his family, only care about seeing the chickens and rabbits at some fair... But he's still the self absorbed one?
Is there a reason you can't go pick up your granddaughter and take her to the fair yourself? It seems you're really only interested in spending time with her this weekend, so there's no reason your stepson also has to be there. Or what about inviting his wife to come along to the fair with you since you seem to think she isn't going to have an enjoyable holiday weekend.
PS - I'm over 60 and I still get a kick out of looking at the rabbits, chickens, pigs and other animals at fairs.
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I'm 33 and always enjoy the farm animals at the fair. Even better when I can spend a few dollars to feed the animals. I don't know why the OP thinks this is something only 3 year olds like.
he grabbed long weekend overtime shifts at work. So his weekend is sleep in, have breakfast, and has no time to accomplish much at home before he reports to work mid afternoon....He'll have a fat paycheck, but he is sacrificing the few precious years of holiday weekend things
So, which is it???
He's trying to rectify the money situation and you're chastising him for not spending time with you?
So why don't you and Oma go pick up the baby and babysit this weekend so dad can sleep and mom can get stuff done around the house?
The only one self absorbed right now seems to be you. They are trying to get ahead. Be supportive.
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