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None of this add ups. How did he get your email address? How does a junkie owe more than $150k in back child support? Does your son have any contact is ex’s family? What does your ex#2 say about this?
oh yes totally civil with the person he considers his dad, we just decided we wanted different things in life but nothing bad happened between us, and I feel he is a good person. He talks to my son and sees him etc. And he pays some child support as well.
Have you talked to him? What does he think you should do?
You need a lawyer NOW have him file papers to sever and rights he thinks he has to the child, including seeing him.
If he has never paid child support that was ordered then he has no right to see the child.
None of this add ups. How did he get your email address? How does a junkie owe more than $150k in back child support? Does your son have any contact is ex’s family? What does your ex#2 say about this?
He found me on facebook and messaged me. When we split up he was ordered to pay child support plus half of expenses ( daycare, sports etc) . I am basing that amount on if he actually paid what he was supposed to, with what the judge thought he can and should make. As far as I know he works on and off, but really have no clue. He still denies using drugs or ever putting my son's life in danger. I only found out about it all those years ago because one of his friends left a note for me saying to never leave my son alone with him and told me what had been going on. I have no idea if he still uses them or not, but it actually doesn't matter, he needs to be self aware and put the kids needs first, take some responsibility.
no my son has zero contact with any of his family. And none of them have ever tried. Part of this is my fault and I know, I should have brought it up more often that he had a bio dad out there, but I didn't since he was about 5 or 6.
My son's dad in every way that counts is as horrified as I am about the whole thing. But not at all surprised.
Last edited by Alyssa2019; 12-21-2018 at 04:00 PM..
You need a lawyer NOW have him file papers to sever and rights he thinks he has to the child, including seeing him.
If he has never paid child support that was ordered then he has no right to see the child.
The issue I am having is that if I keep him away, he will eventually find him as an adult. And then what? He will tell the lies and all that at that time. And my son may be angry at me for keeping him away. It's just a mess.
He owes over 150,000. He doesn't care though, thinks he is above the law, always has. I haven't pursued it because he is such a martyr and if they did take his money I don't want to hear about it.
He owes that much money? Has he spent time in jail for not paying? If so, then why not?
You do need a lawyer and definitely tell the lawyer that the bio dad never paid child support. It's long past time for your ex to face the consequences of being a deadbeat dad.
He owes over 150,000. He doesn't care though, thinks he is above the law, always has. I haven't pursued it because he is such a martyr and if they did take his money I don't want to hear about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint
The support money would be for your son, so you owe it to HIM to try to get it. In reality though, the ex most likely couldn't pay. By trying to get it though, you might scare him away.
Great points.
While it is a long & complicated story, the mother of a good friend of my son refused to fight for child support money for their three children after she divorced her dead-beat husband (their father).
It ended up that the biological dad "turned his life around" and ended up getting an extremely well paying job about a decade or so later. While the children literally had periods in their life when they did not have enough food to eat, had four people living in a one bedroom apartment in a bad neighborhood, and eventually all the children had to get huge, huge loans & work multiple jobs to pay for college, their biological father was taking his new wife and new children to annual vacations to Europe and living in a million dollar home. It ended up that the children were angry at their mother for being so short-sighted that she did not fight for child support money for them. Even though he abused drugs and was a dead-beat loser in his early/mid 20s by the time he was 35, or so, he was making (probably) $200,000 dollars a year in wages and could have paid his back child support payments.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD
He owes that much money? Has he spent time in jail for not paying? If so, then why not?
You do need a lawyer and definitely tell the lawyer that the bio dad never paid child support. It's long past time for your ex to face the consequences of being a deadbeat dad.
He owes over 150,000. He doesn't care though, thinks he is above the law, always has. I haven't pursued it because he is such a martyr and if they did take his money I don't want to hear about it.
You MUST file for back child support and make sure your deadbeat ex pays. Your son deserves to be supported by both parents. You can deposit the money in an account for your son one day or use it yourself since you have been doing all the supporting.
Do you consider your son mature for his age? For instance, could he read your concerns here and understand why you never tried to co-parenting with his father?
It would be nice if you could get child support, but I realize this isn't your biggest concern at this time. You may have to trust in your son to see his bio father for what he is.
Threaten him with jail time if he contacts your son. Not paying child support can really add up. He probably owes 10's of thousands of dollars in back child support. Even if you don't have documentation the threat may be enough to scare him off. In any event, move forward with trying to get your owed money.
This.
It would take exactly thirty seconds for family court to pick up the ex and keep him in jail until he pays or starts making payment on what he owes.
He can't just walk away. The court system will not allow him a passport either.
I'm questioning all this anyway. You cannot walk away from child support with no repercussions. It doesn't work that way. The courts will extradite him for less than ten grand.
Have a conversation with your son ASAP. His birth fathers true colors will show soon enough.
STOP any contact with your ex and lawyer up.
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Has he spent time in jail for not paying? If so, then why not? 
