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Preschools have protocols in place for hitting and biting as it is common for the age. Parents cannot actually address the hitting that happens at school because the timing is not going to work.
In general, what our preschools did was to shadow the hitter or biter to prevent the hit or bite. Then they would talk to the kids together and give the aggressive child other things they can do instead. Parents can talk to the child at home and should, but the school needs to address this in the moment.
Parents can talk to the child at home and should, but the school needs to address this in the moment.
The peace token is part of how Montessori schools do deal with aggression "in the moment."
They have a whole system that builds "peace education" in with the curriculum, but at this age IMHO it doesn't deal quickly enough with the actual problem.
OP did you choose this school for a reason? I would sit down with the school director and talk about your concerns that your child is being continually victimized while they stick to a protocol that doesn't seem to be working with the hitter.
Then you need to re-evaluate whether this is the preschool for you, based on their response to your concerns.
You march your self in the school and raise hell.you are expecting little kids to deal with this on their own?! The school is obviously messed up if they don't intervene...
At my grandson's preschool, they call the parent's sometime and they have to pick the offender up. They teach empathy and alternative behaviors, but sometimes the behaviors continue so the kids are denied permission to stay with the other children for the rest of the day.
I picked this school because of their approach to learning - giving the child time and the atmosphere to focus and go deeper into activities. And I do like the peace token idea of resolving conflict. I’m just wondering, what the limits are, and if I pull her out, am I giving her the wrong message that I don’t think she can stand up for herself? I want her to be strong and resilient. When is it too much, though?
The hitting stage usually doesn't last long, so pulling her out may be too big of a reaction. My son was frequently bit and hit by a kid in his preschool class. We talked about what happens right before he did that--so that my son could identify when he was at risk. We also talked with the kid's parent and learned that he was seeking some physical interaction, so my son started giving him high-fives (alot at first!) and it worked.
I picked this school because of their approach to learning - giving the child time and the atmosphere to focus and go deeper into activities. And I do like the peace token idea of resolving conflict. I’m just wondering, what the limits are, and if I pull her out, am I giving her the wrong message that I don’t think she can stand up for herself? I want her to be strong and resilient. When is it too much, though?
Eh I feel like at age 3 kids should know not to hit. My kids are 3 and 5 and we haven’t had to deal with hitting in school on either side. So the mom here has reason to be mad.
I picked this school because of their approach to learning - giving the child time and the atmosphere to focus and go deeper into activities. And I do like the peace token idea of resolving conflict. I’m just wondering, what the limits are, and if I pull her out, am I giving her the wrong message that I don’t think she can stand up for herself? I want her to be strong and resilient. When is it too much, though?
In kindergarten I was regularly punched in the stomach by a boy named Scott Parker. I'm clueless why he chose me to be the one that he punched; I guess if he hit another boy they would punch him back. He was eventually removed from class but it didn't stop him until he was kicked out of school.
I'm going to be 54 in a month and still remember the punches, I wasn't much older then your daughter. If it doesn't stop, your daughter could potentially have memories of this girl hitting her with the school not stepping up for the rest of her life too. She is being bullied.
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