Drinking Advice (daughter, 19 years old, natural, learn)
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I have at age 2, but it was an accident. At a wedding dance. The adult went dancing putting their glasses on their chairs, and I started emptying them one by one. My mom said I slept well that night.
But seriously, I remember having a glass of champagne (with Alcohol) for every new year celebration, since before i was a teen. Had some wine every so often with the meal since maybe age 13. Could drink pure whiskey (nothing mix with it) like water by age 16. After 19 I slowed down and now only drink as a social drinker. Ok I am French, if you didn't guess right away.
I am to assume that most of the responding posters never drank underage??
When I was young the age was 18. My friends took me out to celebrate and I had a whiskey sour. No one in my family drank. It wasn't an issue or desire. When I got to college I drank at parties because everyone else was and to feel grownup. I never saw any reason to drink anything unless it was sweet and yummy so I never drank anything hard. I never bought any alcohol just to drink by myself in my room. Thirty years later I still haven't. I guess I don't have the gene.
I am to assume that most of the responding posters never drank underage??
Oh no, I drank like a fish from around age 15 on.
But my parents were largely cool with it. My Dad set a very good example and would never drink too much and then drive the car and I followed his lead on that. I grew up in an area where it was quite easy to get around on foot. And I never caused any trouble due to my drinking.
They sort of took the "European approach" for lack of a better description. Ease the boy in, demystify it and teach that like all things, it has its limitations.
That was their choice and will be mine as well. But ultimately its this guy's parents, not us, who decided that. At least while he is dependent on them.
I am to assume that most of the responding posters never drank underage??
No-I didn't. Difficult to believe-I get that, but there are some out there who get that there are reprocussions to stupidity. Seriously-my mother would have killed me and it just wasn't worth the hassel for me. I insisted my boyfriend not drink if I was with him at a party too until he was 21. He's now my husband so I guess he didn't get too mad about it.
Hi, I am 19 years old and I enjoy occasionally having a glass of wine or a drink, but have never once became intoxicated. I had three 1 oz bottles of vodka, one was empty, in my closet and my younger sister "stumbled" upon them and told my mother who is, in my opinion making a mountain out of a mole hill. She freaked out because I had, to her knowledge, 1 drink. She is busy trying to develop some kind of punishment and is acting like I deliberately broke her trust and what not. In my opinion, it is not a big deal. I do not go out and get drunk, I don't party, I simply had a drink.
What is your opinion, what would you do if you found out your 19 year old, adult daughter had a drink?
My kids, now age 21, 21 and 23 have all heard me talk to them about alcohol (and other drugs that are addictive, toxic, and life-threatening) since they were about 5 years old.
I tell them they have a choice to drink and do drugs and that is their choice. I also tell them the consequences: your brain is impaired, you act like an as*hole, you endanger your own life and other people's lives. If you end up in jail i will leave you there (they know i mean it too) and tell you i love you and give you a list of meetings for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Also I have taken them each to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous so they can see the reality of what is ahead of them should they choose to drink.
Yes it is one drink. yes it is one joint of marijuana. yes it is one shot of heroin. They are one and the same. Choose drugs and your life goes in the toilet, that is your choice to make. Just because it's legal and seen as "acceptable" (alcohol) doesn't make it any different than heroin or crack cocaine. It leads to the same point: death, destruction, prison, you destroy your body you destroy your life.
It's not a moral lecture, i believe with my kids whatever age, age 4 and 12 and 19 and 23, to know they have choices to make, and to go in with their eyes wide open regarding the natural consequences of those actions.
Also i let them know they have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism. My son at age 4 was diagnosed with a compromised liver already. So he knows any poison he puts in his body, he's playing with a loaded gun.
It's his choice, and he knows that.
There is no "safe" use of drugs or "safe" level of drinking, just as there is no "safe" level of using crack cocaine or heroin.
At 19, you should be able to enjoy a glass of wine or a beer or a cocktail without having to hide it from your parents.
Because people make such a big deal about alcohol in this country -- we have rampant underage (and legal age) binge drinking.
I was raised in a family culture where alcohol (wine) was part of a meal and to be savored and enjoyed with food.
I don't see a problem with a 19 year old having a drink -- but she shouldn't have to hide it
The problem is alcoholism. There is no sane or safe use of alcohol. Period. Yes cultures "accept" and "ecnourage" and "savor" alcohol and they are nations of addicts and alcoholics. It is not high class. It is just addicts trying to dress up as high class. Be honest. Get real. No different in mind, body, spirit, or reality than the junkie on the street, just dressed better, eating fancier food, and wallowing in denial.
Where did you get the 1-oz bottles of vodka? Where do you get the wine when you drink it?
Do you have any alcoholism in your family? Did you mix that vodka you drank with anything or just drink it straight? If it's no big deal can you just stop drinking period so as to not worry your mother? Does the thought of not drinking anymore make you feel a little anxious? How long have you been drinking? Do you usually drink alone?
wow, settle down, she said she had 1 drink. and doesnt "party" doesnt sound like an alcoholic to me. the kids you have to worry about are the ones who go to college having never tried alcohol, those are the ones that wake up in jail or the hospital having no idea how they got there
The problem is alcoholism. There is no sane or safe use of alcohol. Period. Yes cultures "accept" and "ecnourage" and "savor" alcohol and they are nations of addicts and alcoholics. It is not high class. It is just addicts trying to dress up as high class. Be honest. Get real. No different in mind, body, spirit, or reality than the junkie on the street, just dressed better, eating fancier food, and wallowing in denial.
i mean honestly. everyone on this post is a little out of control. get of your high horses and accept the fact that some drugs are ok in small doses. Especially if they are legal. Do you drink coffee? Seriously, lets not make a big deal out of a 19 year old woman who seems to have her head on her shoulders having one drink. yes she's in her parents house, so should abide by their rules, but that doesnt seem to be the argument here.
I think the overeacting of the parents would cause more damage to her then the single drink.
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