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Well she's an adult and should make her own decisions....
However I suspect sleeping in the car will get old fast if she has no experience. One night of that and I promise your daughter will spend the rest of the nights in a hotel room.
Came to say this.
I seriously don't even understand all the concern, first of all. Like I'm sure she isn't going to choose the seediest place she can find to sleep. Do we really think all men are this criminal minded that if any man sees a woman in a car he's going to hurt her? WTF?
Totally agree that one or 2 nights in an SUV, unless it's a REAALLY big one or she's super tiny...is going to suck. lol I tried it once. Once.
As a woman who's traveled solo off and on since I was your daughter's age (oh, the stories that I could tell!), my advice if she's going to go the sleeping in her car route is to not sleep in random neighborhoods and parking lots, but to take her rest in *very* well-patrolled rest stops preferably near the building itself where it's well-lit and where there most likely will be cameras. Get her some pepper spray and if not a firearm, a small, easily concealed knife (I kept both on my person when I traveled stateside--never abroad). The knife comes in handy for things other than self-defense, so it's nice to have one on hand. For showers, mainstream brand truck stops are excellent (Travel America/Pilot/Love's), cleaner than one might expect, and relatively safe so long as she's remains alert and aware of others.
That being said, I'd keep strongly encouraging her to look into staying in hostels as she can find them; inexpensive motels when she cannot--especially since you're willing to chip in to help her pay for them.
OP for a young woman who wants adventure the idea of traveling WITH parents is probably the very last thing on earth she wants. Part of the adventure is feeling independent and knowing you can take care of yourself and your own needs. Lots of young women travel alone. I did it, my daughter did it, at 21 it's not like you're sending a child out into the world.
BUT, the last time I traveled and tried to sleep at a rest stop I was moved on by the police, apparently it's considered too unsafe and frowned upon in many places now. I would not count on being able to use them for overnights. Using random parking lots and nice neighborhoods could draw unwanted police attention too. https://www.boondockersbible.com/kno...t-a-rest-area/
I'll add to the suggestion of hostels. It has more of an adventurous feel than a motel stay, while being slightly more civilized and comfortable than sleeping in the car.
Pepper spray, a spare portable phone charger, and a supply of ready cash are great things to have for emergencies though.
I understand your concern OP, but I admire your daughter's moxie. Two of my own kids (both males) drove (separately) across the country at about the same age. They enjoyed the experience enough to do it again. They slept in their cars or set up small tents, depending on the weather.
There is a C-D poster who has been traveling and living out of her car for the past couple of years, just for the joy of seeing the country. Read her latest thread, it has some useful tips, especially where your daughter might safely find a place to park her car and sleep. https://www.city-data.com/forum/camp...situation.html
Well she's an adult and should make her own decisions....
However I suspect sleeping in the car will get old fast if she has no experience. One night of that and I promise your daughter will spend the rest of the nights in a hotel room.
Agree - sleeping in a car for 2 weeks will get VERY old. What is she planning to do for showers during that time? She's an adult and can make her own decisions. OP can rest assured that the sleeping arrangements won't last more than a few nights. But that should be her decision, and no one elses.
Time to modernize, there parents. Sleeping in your car is the way it is done nowadays.
Here are a couple of apps to tell you where: AllStays and Hipcamp,
Sometimes you need a permit, sometimes you pay a little, sometimes you get a shower and breakfast, and on and on. It is all pretty normal. The days of a perp walking up to you in a highway pullover are passe (and dangerous). So a niche market has developed. I know, "oh the horrors". I went through that that first it was sprung on me by the dear ones.
Consider the probability of a bad outcome (pretty low) X the severity of that outcome (horrible) and you'll realize it's a very bad idea.
Just, nope. You can't force her not to, but you need to bring the heavy hardware to your arguments. At a minimum she needs a companion, whether human or canine.
As the parent of grown kids who have done things of this nature in the past, and being a parent who tried to do what the OP's did (offer to pay, come up with alternatives, etc.), I can tell you this much: they are going to do what they are going to do, and honestly there isn't anything that can be done about it on your end- there will be times that they will give in because your alternative sounds better than their own, but for the most part all you can do is step back and choke down the fear because...well, because there's nothing left to do. I can say from VAST experience with this very situation, you will make yourselves miserable trying to get a handle on a situation that you know can be pretty dangerous...and it will continue to be that way for you unless you just let go. I know how hard and scary that is, believe me...I still do it all of the time- but I've come to a point in my life where I realize that I'm still trying to 'protect' them, somehow, some way....and at some point in our, and their lives? We just can't anymore. We think that we are somehow in control of the situation if we can steer the direction it's going in, but truth is, we're fooling ourselves. We can't. And man....that is a hard, hard, hard thing to accept. Been There...Done That....Got the Screaming Meemies because of it, lol.
This is a long post, and I apologize...but you remind me so much of myself and I had more than one to 'let go of' (six...yep.). Best advice I can offer is something I had actually heard before, but most recently on that program 'The Tudors' (lol).....
Praise the God of all......
Drink the wine.....
Let the world be the world...
;D
PS: I really do like the idea of the German Shepherd or Rottweiler as a traveling companion, to whoever said that up there, lol- really good idea!
As long as she's sleeping in well-lit rest stops (like the kind with 24 hour gas stations and McDonalds) or 24 hour Walmarts, and has something to block out her windows, she'll be fine. Uncomfortable, but fine.
Everyone needs to travel alone at least once in their life, or they're likely to grow into the kinds of people who aren't comfortable eating in a restaurant or going to a movie alone. Being alone is a skill that we all should have. While I agree it would be better to stay in a hotel, if she's insistent on staying in her car then there are ways for you to encourage her to do it safely.
One option is to get a tent and stay in designated camp spots. Beats sleeping in a car, plus you get to learn some outdoors skills. Only problem it that the desired route may not have aforementioned designated camp areas, plus you might have to reserve camp spots in advance. Requires some proactivity and planning ahead.
Edit: sorry never mind , didn't realize this is the parenting forum. Just clicked on "hot threads" and without reading properly I thought it was travel forum or something. I don't know anything about dealing with stubborn kids lol
Edit: sorry never mind , didn't realize this is the parenting forum. Just clicked on "hot threads" and without reading properly I thought it was travel forum or something. I don't know anything about dealing with stubborn kids lol
It's NOT a stubborn kid. It's a clingy, controlling parent.
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