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If the mother continues to live there she might find another way to escape to have quiet time. People don't find ways to get out of a house when the home is warm, cozy and welcoming.
There is more to this story.
Not necessarily. People dodge adult responsibility all the time. Women sometimes leave their husbands with no mother in the picture at all; they've even been known to abandon their children. But I see the time-honored tradition of "blaming the OP" is alive and well on C-D.
OP, your daughter isn't being fair. The horse is half yours, and you pay half the board.
Make a schedule for riding time, you get three nights/week, she gets four. I understand the situation at the barn. You can't avoid having the same barn "friends"
OR, it won't kill the horse to be ridden twice in an evening, one hour each, unless the horse is under 5 years old. Some lesson or trail horses get ridden 3 hours a day or more.
OR, tell your daughter that you will only pay a fraction of the board from now on, unless she gives you more riding/barn time.
Buy a second horse? Then it wouldn't be necessary to squabble over the current horse.
Is the daughter possibly depressed? Seems like she would want to spend some time with her husband and child. Seems like the child might be interested in spending time with the horse as well.
No matter what we are only getting one side of the story, but it does seem to me that if she's just trying to avoid her Mother that she would welcome time with her family while the Mother spends evenings at the barn..
Exactly. She's running away from the husband and child as much as -- or more so than -- the mother; the mother's presence just makes it easier for her to do so. I wouldn't call that "depression"; maybe mania??? But, as others have guessed, maybe a roll in the hay down at the barn is more likely. Who exactly are these new friends of hers? Either way, the mother is enabling the whole scenario by both monetarily supporting the horse and picking up the daughter's slack at home. Cut off the gravy train and let her either finance her social life herself or get back to the real-life duties she's signed up for that await her.
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