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When I called them neighbors maybe I should explain. They live next door. When we walk out to our cars, they are literally standing at theirs. Our driveways are next to each other.
It started like this...My daughter did not have her license for the first two weeks of school. We saw them getting into their car on the first day of school and the mother asked if my daughter would like to ride with them. She said okay and got in the car. We carpooled for the first two weeks and then my daughter got her license and car. It would have been weird not to offer for her to drive when we had been carpooling.
I didn't exactly throw my daughter under the bus here. She is not the shy type, we are just new to town. I think the parents know there is an issue with their daughter. She rode last year with a few others in the neighborhood and they will no longer take her because she made them late every day.
This isn't just about my budding friendship. It is just the neighborly thing to do. We are in a gas shortage here and everyone is trying to carpool.
I am going to talk to the other mother this afternoon and see if we can work something out. I just don't want to make enemies of the next door neighbors.
Thank you Veuvegirl. You completely understand where I am coming from.
Do keep us updated and in the loop, would you? I think we all wind up feeling protective of the children and our peers, their parents, who are suffering the consequences of social relationship problems. We hope we help; we pray for successful and benevolent resolution.
I don't understand why everyone involved doesn't just take the bus. Is it a public bus or a school bus? With the gas crisis, it doesn't make sense for teenagers to drive to school unless they regularly have something after school.
I don't understand why everyone involved doesn't just take the bus. Is it a public bus or a school bus? With the gas crisis, it doesn't make sense for teenagers to drive to school unless they regularly have something after school.
She has an after school job and has to go directly from school. She pays for her own gas and insurance.
Last night we had the Dad over for dinner. (Mom was out of town.). The daughter came over before going out and was very rude to her father. When she came home, she walked over as we were all outside. Again, very rude. He was obviously embarrassed at her behavior. My husband said, "well teenagers can be that way. She has not been very nice to our daughter either." The father asked what his daughter had done and so we took the opportunity to bring the subject up. He said he would have a little talk with her. I am hoping this helps, it could make it worse. I told my daughter and she said she told her Friday that if she left her door open one more time (she has done it twice) that she would need to find a new ride. The girl then slammed my daughter's car door closed. My daughter said, "look if you don't want to ride with me it's okay." The other girl just walked off.
We have decided to give it one more week. If she doesn't get any better I will just be honest with the couple. My daughter shouldn't have to ride with someone who is so nasty to her. We were all trying to be nice. Some people are so strange. I mean, how difficult is it to just be nice? It's only 3 1/2 miles or so to school.
I would just call and say "So sorry, my daughter isn't able to drive your daughter anymore. It just isn't going to work." If you really feel uncomfortable, suggest your daughter leave for school a half hour early for a week or two, suggesting she has an early hour commitment and that is the reason she can no longer drive the neighbor's daughter. But, I for one, would not want to teach my daughter to put up with that kind of behavior and be so "used and abused!" Good luck!
VBmom...
I'd just say something to the effect of "isn't it a shame the the girls didn't click like we hoped and since Sally really needs to be at school on time, it doesn't look like she'll be able to give Judy a ride any more."
Tactful and to the point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VBmom
When I called them neighbors maybe I should explain. They live next door. When we walk out to our cars, they are literally standing at theirs. Our driveways are next to each other.
I didn't exactly throw my daughter under the bus here. She is not the shy type, we are just new to town. I think the parents know there is an issue with their daughter. She rode last year with a few others in the neighborhood and they will no longer take her because she made them late every day.
This isn't just about my budding friendship. It is just the neighborly thing to do. We are in a gas shortage here and everyone is trying to carpool.
I am going to talk to the other mother this afternoon and see if we can work something out. I just don't want to make enemies of the next door neighbors.
There are a couple points to address here: One; Neighborly thing to do, gas shortage, trying to carpool, vs. being treated badly, running late, etc.. Either put a stop to it, or don't complain.
Second and most important, are you absolutely certain that in your state, 16 year old kids can carry other kids in the car without a licensed adult? Here they can't. In some states your daughter would be in violation and could lose her license.
There are a couple points to address here: One; Neighborly thing to do, gas shortage, trying to carpool, vs. being treated badly, running late, etc.. Either put a stop to it, or don't complain.
Second and most important, are you absolutely certain that in your state, 16 year old kids can carry other kids in the car without a licensed adult? Here they can't. In some states your daughter would be in violation and could lose her license.
Yes, I am sure about the license thing. She can take one non family member under the age of 18 in her car.
I really didn't feel I was complaining. I was simply asking what others would do. I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing/nice thing. That's just me. I wouldn't call myself a doormat but I do like to do for others. I do however no when to say no.
As I stated before we had a talk with Dad on Fri night. He agreed to talk with his daughter and my daughter agreed to give it one more week.
As of this morning the other girl was outside waiting on my daughter. I am hoping that if everyone tries this will work out for all involved. If their daughter continues to be difficult, I will give her the boot. I feel like I have given her every opportunity to change her ways. I won't feel guilty if she can't.
I would just call and say "So sorry, my daughter isn't able to drive your daughter anymore. It just isn't going to work." If you really feel uncomfortable, suggest your daughter leave for school a half hour early for a week or two, suggesting she has an early hour commitment and that is the reason she can no longer drive the neighbor's daughter. But, I for one, would not want to teach my daughter to put up with that kind of behavior and be so "used and abused!" Good luck!
I agree, have the daughter leave earlier making it inconvenient on the other girl so she want to go anymore.
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