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Do you think the military will REQUIRE a 19 year old talk to his parent, and not have sex? The 19 year old is ADULT, bottom line.
Unless the rules have changed, when one is in the military, one does NOT want the SO to call them in and ask WHY they are not calling/sending letters home.. A simple phone call to a state Senator/Legislator from a concerned parent is all it takes. This was rules when my dh was in service.
At least if they are having sex with the same gender they can't get somebody pregnant! Either way they can get STD's, but at least doing it gay-wise you can't get yourself or somebody else knocked up.
I don't know if this OP is serious as this is their only post and they haven't responded to any of the replies. Unless the parent is paying for things - cell phone, tuition, rent, bills, food, transportation, clothing, any of all of these or more... - then the parent needs to let go. At 19 you may not emotionally or mentally be an adult, but legally you are viewed as one so the parent needs to back off. If the parent is paying for something, they can simply set their rules for behavior that the child must abide by in order to benefit from the parents financial assistance. If the rules are broken, the financial assistance stops.
Is it me or does some of these posts seem anti-parenting?????
Maybe it's because I'm from the slow South, but common respect SHOULD play a very important role here with the young man to his parents regardless of who is paying for college.
Not answering phone calls from parents is childish and disrespectful in any shape or form.
Even MY 19 yr old did not do that, and believe me, he did plenty other things.
When a young adult is off to college, yes he/she is going to party and do things that were forbidden before. But, cutting off the very people that will always stand behind him thru hell or high water is not showing much maturity. Say he is on scholarship for college, he is letting down the very people who provided funds for him to be able to go to college. This could interfere with future young men and women who might also want to go. IF enough students act like this young man, these monies might be cut off.
Today's society in the young adult world is very sad. Many, not all, but many feel they deserve or are owed things in life. THings that require time, sacrifice and work to obtain. When they do not get these things, they then react out, and somehow this is the parents fault? Not in my book.
I'm dealing with this at an even younger age than with my oldest. My youngest, 15 has started touting this line of baloney! What is being taught in schools, on tv and out in the world that make them think that they can do whatever, whenever with no consequenses....oh, wait....we only have to look no further than our wonderful government to show if we fail, we will get bailed out..and the list continues....raising kids in today's world is hard as hell, and the more conservative one is, the harder it is to teach....why should they take the hard road when the easy one is what everyone else is taking...why should common respect be something they should learn, or responsibility, or morales, or just living right, and learning it takes hard work to achieve something worthwhile in this world.
Dear parent, I hear ya, understand your pain, and wish I had an answer for you. Unfortunately, the deck is stacked against you with the low standards of todays world. Seems parents have lost any and all rights to their children, yet we are also the 'bad' people when these same children fail and come to moma to get bailed out and we refuse.
What is wrong with this picture.? Times, they need to change. Put some accountability back into peoples lives. IF they learn that if they do something wrong, they must suffer the consequences. If they screw up in college partyin, then they pay from then on out...if they get a girl pregnant while at college, tough luck, learn to work and go to college to support YOUR family....and while I am still on my soapbox....
I also believe being gay is wrong.....judge me all you want, the only judge I care about is Jesus Christ, and what He sees in me....
well you are from california so of course you are going to say that. and, i am from texas so of course i am going to say it is nasty. i know you are thinking "who are you to judge someone for their sexuality". well, who are you to judge me for thinking homo's are nasty? huh? huh?
Not all Texans are like you. Thank goodness. I'm from Texas and I support same-sex marriages and gay rights. I believe that the religious beliefs of some should stay out of the private sexual and romantic lives of all.
This is totally OT though. Sorry... but just had to defend Texans. We're not all bigots.
Not all Texans are like you. Thank goodness. I'm from Texas and I support same-sex marriages and gay rights. I believe that the religious beliefs of some should stay out of the private sexual and romantic lives of all.
This is totally OT though. Sorry... but just had to defend Texans. We're not all bigots.
no...you are in oregon...you have moved where you belong obviously.
[quote=aiangel_writer;6398894]Is it me or does some of these posts seem anti-parenting?????
Maybe it's because I'm from the slow South, but common respect SHOULD play a very important role here with the young man to his parents regardless of who is paying for college.
Not answering phone calls from parents is childish and disrespectful in any shape or form. quote)
I believe the point was that the op was suffocating the young man.
Responsibility is something else entirely.
If you aren't answering when we call we aren't paying
Then they have a contract of sorts with me for my grades
If I get all A's that semester they pay 100%
If I get even 1 B I have to pay 25%
If I get even 1 C I have to pay 50%
If I get a D or F I have to pay 100%
If I don't show them my grades they would automatically assume I did poorly and I'll have to pay 100% of my tuiton.
Maybe think about doing something like that to hold him accountable. A lot of the time if a student is paying they'll realize oh every class I miss is costing me 200 dollars (or however much it works out to).
Hold him accountable, he's an adult. I would say as for the sex and stuff, there is really no way for you to control that, I would focus on things you can control, paying for school and his phone etc. Because he could just hide that he's sleeping around pretty easily from you, he can't hide bad grades or not answering the phone if you know what I mean!
Good luck!
no...you are in oregon...you have moved where you belong obviously.
I resent you, and every American who soils our country's name with these ass-backwards beliefs.
While the rest of the country, and world for that matter, are progressing and worrying about more important issues with the economy, you're worrying if your neighbor is doing another man in the ass. Give me a break.
time for you to cut the cord. take the t bird away.
he can talk to an army recruiter about a college education.
codependent on jr. no more.
american parents cannot bear to deny their children the things they never had, of course that is what made them strong.
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