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Hmmm... I guess you should have told my parent's that then, since I didn't get allowance unless my chores for the week were done.
Allowance in my home is based off the chores that are done, compared to the chores that were set.
So yes, it is a reward for working hard and doing what you are told.
I completely disagree with you.
Children should do chores because they are part of the family not because they will get paid for doing them. There should be consequences for not doing chores but not monetary. JMO
Children should do chores because they are part of the family not because they will get paid for doing them. There should be consequences for not doing chores but not monetary. JMO
You are right that is YOUR opinion, not mine.
What you do in your home is NOT my business, but please don't try to tell me or thousands others what we do in our homes is wrong.
Children do chores because the are told to do them, to teach them responsibility, not to be part of the family; in my home anyhow.
They are rewarded with allowance due to their work, that way they learn that with responsibilities come rewards; at least in my home.
Our kids (6 & 9) are required to do what they are asked to do. As I'm a sahm and my dh works from home, we do the majority of the chores, with help from the kids. They have money making opportunities tied to certain jobs, with double pay if they take it upon themselves to clean rather than waiting to be told/asked.
I do not believe in giving anyone something for nothing, especially not my children. I have relatives who STILL (at age 45, 35, 33 and so on) expect their mommies to GIVE them money, just to teach them to handle it... I believe they should EARN money, then learn how to handle THAT.
My dh's younger sister threw a fit because her mom told her she was thinking of not paying her car insurance anymore. This "adult", married with kids, started called everyone in the family asking if they could believe that her mother would ABUSE her that way... after all, her mom TOLD her when she was 16 that she would pay her car insurance... it's not FAIR to stop... no, I'm not kidding! If you didn't agree with her, she hung up the phone and added those people to the list she was bad mouthing.
It's 2 years later and mom is STILL paying for her car insurance. Pathetic!
My stepsiblings can't understand why my dad and their mom are leaving me everything in their will. I am YOUNGER than all 3 of them (they are 38, 40 & 42). Here's an example as to why:
Last spring break, we wanted to take the kids to Disney. My dad and stepmom asked to come along. As they are SoCAL residents, they picked up the tickets, and I agreed to reimburse them when we arrived. I made the hotel reservations. Of course, they would NOT let me reimburse them for the tickets and paid for the hotel too. While in Disney, we would stop in a gift shop and they would get FURIOUS when I paid for something for the kids or my dh or myself. I stopped at one point and bought everyone Mouse Ears ice cream... again, got yelled at (in an affectionate manner). Same thing when I paid for dad's coffee, etc.
During this trip, while my stepmom was LITERALLY shoving me out of the way at registers and buying stuff for the kids when my back was turned, my stepsiblings called our parents several times... during the 2 days we were at Disney, all three of their cars broke down in the middle of nowhere. Costs to repair ranged from $300-$1500. 2 of them got disconnect notices from the electric company and one had some type of $500 banking emergency. Now, my parents didn't believe any of these things actually occurred - it was my stepsiblings reaction to any $$ being spent on someone other than them. It is ALWAYS their reaction when I visit. They don't think our parents are smart enough to see their patterns. My stepmom despairs over the way she spoiled them.
BTW... when we went to Disney, my kids, age 5 & 8 then, had saved change for 2 years for the trip in their piggy banks (actually a crayon bank). They EACH had $30 of their own to put on a Disney gift card to spend any way they wanted to while there (plus the $10 their Great Grandma gave them for it, because they had saved so well).
I have CONSTANT reminders in my life as to why being forced to EARN every penny was better for me than my stepsibling's easier life/childhood. And so do my stepbrother's children.
We are planing our 3 yr olds party and it looks to be about $350 bucks for an event of some sort( mini golf, jumping place, princess land, zoo etc). We need indoor and apparently that will cost you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaimik
Just wondering if everyone has a set amount you spend on your kids for their birthdays, Christmas or other holidays? If so, how much per child? And does it depend on their age?
We have a two year old and another on the way. My dh and I tend to be pretty minimalistic, preferring time as a family and experiences, to more stuff. But, my two stepchildren (12 and 13) have just moved in with us, and are very focused on material things. We're just trying to figure out what is reasonable for kids their age.
Also, do your kids have cell phones, ipods, digital cameras, computers and things like that?
Do you pay allowances? Based on what?
What type of chores do you expect from your pre-teens and teens?
Thanks in advance for your insights. Going from a small young family to a larger family with a teen and almost teen is challenging all of us!
Any outtings that we ever did, were usually those roller skating parties that we won for 10 people. I highly doubt any of our birthdays were over $50 combined with gift. Nor do I ever remember feeling deprived.
We are planing our 3 yr olds party and it looks to be about $350 bucks for an event of some sort( mini golf, jumping place, princess land, zoo etc). We need indoor and apparently that will cost you.
I have 14 year old twins. What I spend for birthday/christmas varies depending upon what they would like and what they need (and I don’t spend the same dollar amount for both kids, because their wants/needs aren’t the same and the amount spent isn’t an issue for them).
Both of my kids have cell phones (prepaid), ipods, digital cameras, computers, and all game systems except playstation. They both have an allowance. They receive the equivalent of $1.00 per year of age/per week, paid monthly (so when they turned 14, they began receiving $60 per month). Their allowance isn’t connected with chores, it’s to learn now to manage money. Basically, I pay for what they need, and beyond that they pay for what they want, and I’m flexible depending upon the circumstance (special events, concerts, etc).
Chores…I’m an at home mom and do the majority of the housework, however both kids are responsible for the cleaning of their rooms, bringing the laundry out (or it doesn’t get washed) and putting their laundry away. Ds puts the garbage out and plays with the cat every night for 1/2 hour – the cat is active and does somersaults and such. Dd helps with the cat in other ways (nail clippings, etc) and since she makes the biggest mess in the hall bathroom (makeup and such) she cleans the bathroom except for the toilet. They both do other chores when asked.
Everyone does things differently and each family has to learn what works for them. Our way of doing things works for us .
How much $$ to spend on kids - depends on budget & child's age. I have 3 kids & I spend $100 per child on Christmas & about $50 per child on bdays.
My kids are too young for cell phones probably won't get one until they are old enough to pay their own bill.
My kids have mp3 players but I choose all the songs & they have to be kid friendly only.
My kids are not going to have their own laptops until they are in high school & I think that they are responsible enough.
All three of my kids have an allowance. They all get $2 each per week. $1 for church, .50 c for long term saving & .50 for spending. I keep a behavior & chore chart & if they do well (above 70%) on their behavior & chores then they recieve .25c extra for ever 5 percentage point over 70%
My kids are young but their chores include cleaning the mirrors, sweeping, keeping their room clean, folding their laundry, and taking out the trash.
Once they are teenagers, I will expect them to do much more around the house like mopping, washing their own clothes, vaccuuming, basically everything around the house.
Just wondering if everyone has a set amount you spend on your kids for their birthdays, Christmas or other holidays? If so, how much per child? And does it depend on their age?
We have a two year old and another on the way. My dh and I tend to be pretty minimalistic, preferring time as a family and experiences, to more stuff. But, my two stepchildren (12 and 13) have just moved in with us, and are very focused on material things. We're just trying to figure out what is reasonable for kids their age.
Also, do your kids have cell phones, ipods, digital cameras, computers and things like that?
Do you pay allowances? Based on what?
What type of chores do you expect from your pre-teens and teens?
Thanks in advance for your insights. Going from a small young family to a larger family with a teen and almost teen is challenging all of us!
We do not have a preset limit. Many times gifts depend on the child, their interests, how much money we have at the time, and what they need. One year my middle son got a piano which cost us $3500. Other years he has gotten a $50 gift. He had been taking lesson for a year and we told him if he still wanted to play we would buy him a piano. That was a one time deal.
We do make their birthdays more special than Hanukah. Their birthday is the time they may get something bigger like an ipod or computer.
We also chip in with my parents, MIL and other gift givers if we are thinking of a larger gift. We really try to tailor the gift to the child and what is going on in their life. Our oldest just got golf clubs for his birthday. He plays golf quite a bit and these are adult sized golf clubs. That was expensive but something he will use for years to come. We try not to buy stuff like a pile of video games but usually focus on a larger, gift that they can keep for years.
Our kids do not get an allowance but we do give them lunch money. If they want to save some lunch money by bringing lunch from home they are free to do so.
They have to do chores because they live here. We don't pay for everyday stuff but we pay for extra stuff. For instance we don't pay them to take out the garbage, clean up the kitchen, help with the laundry, etc. If they clean out my car, or clean out the smoker we pay them a few $$. If my oldst babysits on a Sat night that he could have gone out we pay him. If we need him to look after the little ones when I go to the grocery store we do not pay him for that.
My older 2 kids have cell phones and ipods. We pay for the phones. My middle got an ipod for his birthday. My oldest got my old ipod when I got an iphone. My middle son likes photography and he has a digital camera. He saved his money and bought that himself.
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