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You would have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you had bothered to read even some of the posts in this thread. No one here suggested that the OP hit her child. Most advocated taking away privledges and having the boy do extra chores.
Never said she did, just ruled it out from options
Well, here's the update. XBox and iPod are gone. I've been having him perform chores like crazy. Folding laundry, dusting vacuuming, etc. I had him scrub the whole pool on Monday. He is earning "chore money" via time and that's what I'll use to pay myself back. He's not a happy camper but I'm not so sure he's learning a lesson. He cried for a while initially but I don't think it is because he felt bad (at least at that time). He felt worse about not getting Halo 3 for Easter. I explained that since he spent $$ on some download, it prevented me from buying (a used) copy of the video game to go in his basket. It bothered me that he was more upset about that, than spending $125 plus.
I think that right now he understands and feels bad. We have been having conversations about "the big picture". His splurge on a download (for immediate gratification) prevented him from getting something he really wanted. He didn't look to the future.
We'll see how it goes. Thanks to everyone (and I mean everyone) for all of your advice!! While some of the ideas won't work for me, there are many that will. You guys rock!
Glad to hear that you came to a decision that you thought best that would work. He may not be a happy camper right now, that is the whole point in punishment. They are not suppose to like it. But I can almost bet you dollars to doughnuts that by the time he has "paid" you back with the not so pleasant chores he will have learned his lesson.
Sell the xbox... problem gone!! and what you get for it should cover the amount stolen from your debit card. If he so desperately wants an xbox in the future he can earn money each week by getting an odd job or an allowance and save up to buy himself one, after all... isn't that what we have to do, when we want something expensive.
I always felt the do unto others as they do to you method works best.
One of my sons took some of my art supplies, brushes, paints, whatever... unfortunetely they were expensive, (I know he didn't know that), but never the less he ruined them...
So I took his favorite coloring book and crayons, and was coloring on the kitchen counter next to the sink, (see where I am going with this) and what a coiencedence, it was at the same time I was soaking a pair of socks in the kitchen sink, when accidentely oops the coloring book fell into the sink.. and was ruined..................................
see what happens when you touch things that do not belong to you.
it was a lesson well learned. we now both respect each others property.
Your first mistake was in downloading your debit card information on to his X-Box...of course, I'm sure you figured that out already. I'd be making sure that information was no longer available to him...period! I would then notify Microsoft of what had taken place.
Find some extra chores he can do to pay you back for your loss and make sure this never happens again. We no longer alllow those types of games in our house....not for many years and truthfully, our kids don't miss it one bit.
I am trying to be rational here, because otherwise I will ground him until he is 18.
A bit of background: Back in February, when I got my desperately needed tax refund, I loaded my debit card info into my son's XBox so he could buy points to download an add-on for a game. That was the end of it. At some point in early March, over the course of 2 or 3 days, I had multiple charges for downloaded content on XBox, iTunes, and our PS3. (I previously had my debit info on the other machines for my use.)
By the time it was done he had "stolen" $124.25 from me via my debit card. I grounded him for 2 weeks from playing any electronic device that was connected to the internet. Re-payment issues still need to be resolved.
Well this morning I got up and he is playing a game on his XBox, online, and I heard him talking to his friends about a download that was released today. He asked me 2 days ago if I would get it for him and my response was that I would think about it. He apparently went ahead and downloaded it. I checked my bank account and sure enough, there's a debit from Microsoft.
He will be 11 in July and I am sure he knows better. He absolutely knew it was wrong but did it anyway.
What would you do and what do you think is appropriate punishment?
(No need to tell me to remove my bank info from the XBox - I've learned my lesson)
I think the paddle or even the cane would be appropriate.
You need to take your debit card and the offending x-box and go find someone and sit the two exhibits down in front of them and then having explained the situation as described above,
turn round,
bend over,
and take 6 of the best for being so dumb!
Lordy-I cant get over the stuff I find tonite while I cant sleep!
Hope you didnt watch Dr Phil/Inman kids-what their dad made them do/watch when someone stole from him........
There are so many that will attempt to steal from you. Wise up and protect your data. My definition of theft is those that take without exchanging anything of equal value. Thus that definition extends to almost any that ask. Your child. I suggest you spend your time on teaching your child how to spend money well. True, a very difficult task indeed. One worth teaching and often lifelong usefulness.
I just realized that my son downloaded over $500 for playstation over the last 3 or 4 months. I have been swamped and not looking at my email or credit card receipts until just now. The first time I saw he did this, I sat him down and told him I was disappointed he took advantage of me using my credit card without permission. Now, he clearly has a habit he cannot control. All the other electronics I have a password and it requires me inputing the password. I honestly thought I could trust him on this, but I was wrong. I am unbelievably disappointed in him and me for just now catching it. He will lose use of the Playstation, timeframe my husband and I will agree on, and discuss paying me back. He is a very active boy and I had noticed him getting more attached to the Playstation. (He is on more than one travel ball team). There is more at play here than the credit card. School just started this week, so a good time to refocus him and start over with awarding certain periods of time. Reading this string was helpful.
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