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We have this family of four that lives down the street from us and both our sons are in the same grade so they sometimes play together although they were never really close or anything. The mom is a stay-at-home mom and this last year she signed one of the older kids up for baseball and began dropping her other son off with us whenever there was a game or practice. At first it wasn't too bad but after a while it became a regular thing and she totally expected us to be available for her whenever she needed it. She wanted to go to the store, dump the kid on us. She wanted to go out to eat, dump the kid on us. And even her son began calling my son to "play" by saying "I don't want to (insert go shopping, to to baseball or go to the store here)" and we also found out that they never played together at school, just when he wanted to get out of doing something with his family. I also had told her that we worked till 5:30 and we often get home to find her frantic messages on our machine about how she needs us to watch her son. It's like she doesn't understand that we are not her babysitter. Recently we all became sick of it and my son found some other friends he has started playing with instead and now when the wack neighbors call they actually get mad at us for not be able to accommodate them. And her son who has ignored my child at school now has begun to speak to him on a regular basis...to be mean to him. I am really not sure how to handle this other than going over there and re-arranging the parents faces. It is just so mind-blowingly self-centered that I am just at a loss.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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A few years ago, I had a very similar thing happen to me. Same things you're talking about it and then some. My neighbors even went so far as to spy me packing up my minivan to head to the neighborhood pool and have their kids run over, in swimsuits and everything, begging me to take them. It got to the point that I felt like they were watching our house to see when we were coming/going.
Once I figured out what was going on, I had to cut all ties and just send the kid back home every time he knocked on the door, showed up in a swimsuit. I felt bad for the kid, but you have to put your family first. The mother wouldn't let it go, though, and still called and left messages. Ultimately, the mom actually had the nerve to confront me (about what, I still don't know). I guess she was just mad that I wasn't a free babysitter and tried to start an argument about how the kids just wanted to be friends and I (by not watching her little brats) was standing in the way of that. Thank goodness they moved shortly thereafter.
What I took away from the experience is pretty simple: 1) some people are incredibly self-absorbed and unreasonable and will never change and 2) never argue with idiots b/c you'll never win
What I took away from the experience is pretty simple: 1) some people are incredibly self-absorbed and unreasonable and will never change and 2) never argue with idiots b/c you'll never win
Some sage words of wisdom right there.
I would be very direct. "I am not your free babysitter. You need to hire someone and pay them. I don't impose my family on you, don't assume that you have the right to do it to me. Take your son with you, like millions of other parents when there is no baby sitter. If your kid bullies my kid, we'll have to involve the school. If you are going to be angry about this, please demonstrate that by ignoring us."
That is crazy and very presumptuous of her to think you would be responsible for her son at any time. You need to nip this in the bud for good. Call and calmly tell her that you are sorry but you will no longer, at anytime, be available to care for her son. That's that. If he shows up again, send him home.
That is crazy and very presumptuous of her to think you would be responsible for her son at any time. You need to nip this in the bud for good. Call and calmly tell her that you are sorry but you will no longer, at anytime, be available to care for her son. That's that. If he shows up again, send him home.
I agree. This family clearly has no sense of boundaries. You will have to set some for yourself. If they get mad, so be it. You aren't really friends with these people so you really have nothing to loose and everything to gain. If the child continues to bother your son at school, report it to the teacher. Bullying is something the school will take care of.
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