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Hello, everyone. Apologies in advance if this is the wrong forum - if necessary, move this thread to the appropriate forum.
Anyway - I'm 23, and going to school full time. This summer, I spent the first half working as a residential adviser at my university, then the second half was spent vacationing with my family, working as a camp counselor for a Deaf camp, and volunteering at a local soup kitchen. While not fully busy from 9-5, I was fairly busy doing different things. Today, out of the blue, my mom sat me down, and said that I need to pay $800 in rent for the two months I spent at home. I never was informed of this, and cannot afford the $800 rent because I need to pay off my college expenses, flight back to school, and have some left over for food and other miscellaneous spending expenses. When I explained that, plus the fact that I owe money already, my mom claimed it was not her problem, and that the rent was non-negotiable. As I am Deaf, I rely on SSI monthly, which has been cut three times. The economy is really bad, and I'm struggling with money as it is. What recourse do I have, since I was never informed of this in advance, nor given any warning?
Hello, everyone. Apologies in advance if this is the wrong forum - if necessary, move this thread to the appropriate forum.
Anyway - I'm 23, and going to school full time. This summer, I spent the first half working as a residential adviser at my university, then the second half was spent vacationing with my family, working as a camp counselor for a Deaf camp, and volunteering at a local soup kitchen. While not fully busy from 9-5, I was fairly busy doing different things. Today, out of the blue, my mom sat me down, and said that I need to pay $800 in rent for the two months I spent at home. I never was informed of this, and cannot afford the $800 rent because I need to pay off my college expenses, flight back to school, and have some left over for food and other miscellaneous spending expenses. When I explained that, plus the fact that I owe money already, my mom claimed it was not her problem, and that the rent was non-negotiable. As I am Deaf, I rely on SSI monthly, which has been cut three times. The economy is really bad, and I'm struggling with money as it is. What recourse do I have, since I was never informed of this in advance, nor given any warning?
Thanks for the advice!
Your mother is doing you an incredible favor. She is teaching you that you have to be responsible for your own expenses in life. You are an adult, and if you were not living at home you would be responsible for your own living expenses.
It sounds an awful lot like you need to get a job! It is unfortunate that you have a disability, but you need to get out there and find a job to support you so that when you DO move out of mommy's house, you can take care of yourself. Get hoppin.
There is way more to this story. I would like to know what is your mother's position. Does she need the money for expenses also that were perhaps increased because you were home? Were they expecting you to get a job since you are 23 and an adult and not mooch off them for 2 months?
You really dont have to pay it but what would you lose? gain? You would need to move out and maybe they would never want to help you? Have no idea of your personal relationship but something is missing from the story.
I suspect they were/are irritated to the extreme by a 23 year old adult moving back home and taking it easy (In their eyes) doing what you wanted to do. Are they trying to teach you a lesson?
Again, you dont have to pay it but you will give up far more than the $800 to do it that way.
Yeah, I can see the benefit in making a child responsible, but in this case, it should have been made clear BEFORE the child came back for the summer. To all of a sudden say that $800 is due, when this was not previously discussed, is poor form. IDK about recourse, except that you should plan on NEVER coming "home" again (which may be what your mother wants?) unless you want to pay to be there. Offer her a payment plan on the money, say $80/mo over the winter, and be sure to make other plans for next summer, as well as winter and spring breaks. And since this sounds like it might get ugly, I would also remove any property you have at her home. I hope it wouldn't go to the legal extreme, but if you didn't sign a contract/lease, you don't *legally* owe her the money.
This happened to my friend as well. Her friends invited her to stay the summer rent free since the husband had to work away for the summer. The rent free was explicit. She helped take care of the dogs, bought her own food, helped clean and gave money for utilities. Then with one month left, they said she owed them a ridiculous amount of money for rent. She was beside herself! She ended up paying I think, but really--rental agreements need to be arranged up front!
I like the idea of setting up a payment plan. I would have a frank discussion with your mom about your confusion over this and how all rental agreements are made upfront and wished she would have discussed this with you before the summer began. It is all you can do.
Whether or not she should have been paying rent is not the issue. I think it is ethically wrong to demand two months rent from anyone after the fact without prior discussion of monies.
Your mother is doing you an incredible favor. She is teaching you that you have to be responsible for your own expenses in life. You are an adult, and if you were not living at home you would be responsible for your own living expenses.
It sounds an awful lot like you need to get a job! It is unfortunate that you have a disability, but you need to get out there and find a job to support you so that when you DO move out of mommy's house, you can take care of yourself. Get hoppin.
20yrsinBranson
What part did you miss that this person is a full time student?
What part did you miss that this person is a full time student?
And the part that she worked half the summer but then took time to spend time with the family, worked at a camp for deaf kids, voluteered at a soup kitchen, has to pay for her plane ticket back to school, pay for her food once there...not sure on the financial arrangement for tuition. It doens't seem like she is a slouch.
I'm not saying she is guilt-free. Obviously, something went wrong in the communication which is almost always the fault of both parties.
What kind of parent charges their kid rent to come home for the summer? To me the only reason to charge rent to one's children is to force them to move out after they are done with school.
Hello, everyone. Apologies in advance if this is the wrong forum - if necessary, move this thread to the appropriate forum.
Anyway - I'm 23, and going to school full time. This summer, I spent the first half working as a residential adviser at my university, then the second half was spent vacationing with my family, working as a camp counselor for a Deaf camp, and volunteering at a local soup kitchen. While not fully busy from 9-5, I was fairly busy doing different things. Today, out of the blue, my mom sat me down, and said that I need to pay $800 in rent for the two months I spent at home. I never was informed of this, and cannot afford the $800 rent because I need to pay off my college expenses, flight back to school, and have some left over for food and other miscellaneous spending expenses. When I explained that, plus the fact that I owe money already, my mom claimed it was not her problem, and that the rent was non-negotiable. As I am Deaf, I rely on SSI monthly, which has been cut three times. The economy is really bad, and I'm struggling with money as it is. What recourse do I have, since I was never informed of this in advance, nor given any warning?
Thanks for the advice!
Ok..something else is bugging Mom.
Time to sit and REALLY talk to her.
If you want to get down to the real Judge Judy part of it, if the $$ wasn't discussed BEFORE you got there then she doesn't have a leg to stand on.
And $800.00 is a little steep for a college student.
I hope you can work it out because if my Mom pulled this stunt?? I wouldn't be coming home anymore. I'd spend the summer elsewhere.
BTW..you're on the right course..don't let things like this stop you from what you're doing now.
Personally, I think it is rediculous of anyones parent to say at the last minute they expect all this money when it wasn't discussed up front. But at the same time, I'm asuming that you did not flat out ask her before you stayed there if she would be expecting any compensation.
Well if wasn't discussed up front she can't do anything about it. Except not let you stay there ever again. So it's up to you. You either pay her in case you might ever need her help again, or you don't and risk losing your support system. But as far as her idea of you owing rent that wasn't discussed, you can tell her that it's not your problem that she doesn't know how the law works.
And you might want to inform her that had you gotten a HUD apartment instead, you would have paid like $200 a month - which includes utilities. Because the government says that's what you can afford on your income. So unless you didn't help her out with the cost of food while you were there, she can stop being greedy!
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