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It's been a couple of months since I stated this thread and thought I would update. The kid that hit my son continues to be an issue at school. He still hits and is unruly but (and here is the kicker) not to my son at all. He totally stays away from my son and although I am sorely disappointed at the school for allowing this crap to continue, I am happy my son is being left alone.
Thanks to all for your posts!
And that word will go with your son for a long time. Whoever is the new bully in a few years is going to remember your son is NOT weak and can not be bullied.
As a parent if my child came home and had been touched by any child in an abusive way the first call I'd be making is 911. I'd be filing a police report and charges so fast. Think about it........ in the real world with grownups if someone hits you then you can file assualt charges. Lets start doing this with these parents that allow their kids to beat up others and it might come to a stop or at least slow it down.
It's been a couple of months since I stated this thread and thought I would update. The kid that hit my son continues to be an issue at school. He still hits and is unruly but (and here is the kicker) not to my son at all. He totally stays away from my son and although I am sorely disappointed at the school for allowing this crap to continue, I am happy my son is being left alone.
So, I have a 6 year old in public school Kindergarten. There is one boy in there who has major issues. Always hitting, spitting in other kids faces etc. Probably needs an aide with him but that hasn't happened yet. Today at drop off for school this kid comes up to my son and hits him. (I wasn't there but it was described by other parents and the rest by his teacher who was outside also.) My son hit him right back. The other kid grabbed my kid's hair and kicked him. According to the teacher - my son went crazy and started punching him in the stomach until he let go and then they had to pull them apart.
The teacher gave them both the "no hitting lecture" and sent the other kid to the principal. At pick-up the teacher came to talk to me to tell me what happened. She said when she told my son no hitting, he said "my Mom told me if someone hits me I should hit them back." (Kinda wish he had kept that to himself - lol.) And I did say that. But the teacher said if he gets hit he has to find a teacher and tell them. I said my son has a right not to be abused and I will not tell him that he shouldn't hit back because that is just not real world. I feel like he needs to stand up for himself and put a stop to that BS now or it can go on for years. The teacher said if this happens again she will send him to the principal as well.
What do you think? Should I be telling him two wrongs don't make a right and all that good stuff? Or just back him up in the Principal's office?
You tell your child this - never start a fight, but always finish it if you are attacked.
You've received a lot of wise responses here. I'm so sorry that you and your son had to go through this. It's no fun and is so unfair.
As a family we have experienced these situations as well, mostly with our oldest son. (We have 2 boys - 10 and 14). We've moved around quit a bit (4 different states in 7 years) for DH's job and have experienced different public schools. They have all been in nice, affluent neighborhoods and were all supposed to be very highly rated schools, but they were each different of course in several ways.
What we have noticed is that there seems to be, in some schools (even the so-called "best" schools) a certain tolerance or acceptance of bad behavior. Some of the schools our boys have attended have had a very compassionate, passive and peaceful atmosphere... while others seem to just tolerate the bullying with that old mindset of of "boys will be boys" or that it's OK for kids to "fight it out" and that sort of thing. Two of the schools our boys attended went all out and had "anti-bullying" assemblies and workshops... but then when things would happen there really weren't any real repercussions for the bad bullying behavior when it happened. The school talked the talk but didn't walk the walk kind of thing.
You might want to really think about the culture of the school that your child attends. Is it really just this one bully kid or is it something bigger? If you think it might be the culture at the school you might want to find a school that's more proactive and progressive when it comes to children's behavior as far as what is accepted and what is not.
I am not saying this to ruffle any feathers or anything, but we've also noticed that the schools where sports/athletics (especially American football and basketball) are a bigger deal seem to also have more bullying and behavior problems. That competitive environment and all that added pressure on the kids can sometimes bring out not-so-great qualities if left unchecked or if not guided in the right direction by positive role models/adults.
I have the same problem only my son is in the fourth grade and the bully is in the 6th. He's new to town and has those wonderful parents who insist he's an angel because he has "anger issues" and "adhd". Give me a break-This kid had two weeks of non-stop hitting and bullying and the school really can't do anything because of his "conditions and disabilities". The parents have this down to a fine art. Anyway, this kid followed my son (the fourth grader) and my sons friend (a girl) and tried running my son over with his bike and pushed the girl down. Thanks to my husband and I telling him that if another boy hits you or treats a girl badly or hits a girl, deck em and deck em hard. I know, violence at its worst, but I feel that's half of the problem with America's youth is that they are not taught how to stand up for themselves anymore-get mommy and daddy to do it-see a girl/woman getting hurt, don't get involved-HOGWASH! Stand up for yourself and those you care about and love-My son helped the girl up, walked over to the bully and decked him, I mean sent the kid home crying to mommy with a bloody nose. The mom was at our door within 20 minutes threatning to sue until I showed her the girl (whose hand was cut from getting pushed) and my son's leg which needed stitches from the bike hitting him. I let her know that the more her son continued to treat other kids like this, the more he was going to come home with bloody noses. Haven't had a problem since and my son has not hit anyone or anything with the exception of a baseball since then. You can teach a child to defend themselves and still teach respect and non-violence-it's just in how you explain it and approach it
we are taught that beating assaults and sexual misconduct are appropriate for us to receive at a very early age. later on they tell us that self defense is filing a complaint about an assault.
K12 best social engineering machine ever created.
its purpose is to domesticate young white males.
so here is what happened to me .............
im a 13 years old boy and i was at school, when it was gym class we were playing basketball so when my team play we just scored 3 points in a row and i yell 3 to 0 and a kid says its 3 to 2 so i say when did you guys score he gets mad and pushes me and we push each other until he gets more ma dand try to punch me i dodge his punch and tripp him to the ground the kid hit his face on the ground. I am the one who got in school suspension and the kid got it too but he got one day i got 2 days do you think they did the right thing ?( i apreciate your help ) my email is [email]biiell96@hotmail.com[/email] pleas send me message about this
so here is what happened to me .............
im a 13 years old boy and i was at school, when it was gym class we were playing basketball so when my team play we just scored 3 points in a row and i yell 3 to 0 and a kid says its 3 to 2 so i say when did you guys score he gets mad and pushes me and we push each other until he gets more ma dand try to punch me i dodge his punch and tripp him to the ground the kid hit his face on the ground. I am the one who got in school suspension and the kid got it too but he got one day i got 2 days do you think they did the right thing ?( i apreciate your help ) my email is biiell96@hotmail.com pleas send me message about this
I'm sorry this happened to you, but without being there to see it there's really no way for any of us to know what the fair disciplinary response would have been.
You also might think about not concerning yourself with the other kid, or whether it's "fair" or not. Life's not fair much, even most, of the time. So, the sooner you stop thinking in those terms the happier you can be.
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