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Is it a social taboo to say that raising children bores you? Do you secretly hate having to read the same bedtime stories to your children over and over again? What about having to go to their music recital, all three nights?
For most moms, it is considered inappropriate to express boredom with these natural motherly duties, but freelance journalist Helen Kirwin-Taylor is one mom who isn't afraid to break those taboos.
Kirwin-Taylor, a mother of two young boys, says that "day after day after day, I think it gets very boring." She was so disturbed by the unwritten rule against saying anything negative about child-rearing that she wrote an article for London's Daily Mail entitled "Sorry, But My Children Bore Me to Death." Now a stay-at-home mom, Kirwin-Taylor admitted that she was bored stiff when taking her kids to birthday parties, to play dates and to school plays, and her article caused shock waves on both sides of the Atlantic.
I agree to some extent. I really don't like the Christmas concert. I go and clap and ooh and aah but I find it all very boring. On the other hand my husband loves it and would go to every performance if he could. I LOVE going to football games and practices. I am there constantly for my kids sports. My husbands job keeps him busy most evenings so he really doesn't like the sports.
There are other things that I find boring and unnecessary but I do without complaint. It's all part of being a parent. I think the parents who love every part of parenting are the super mom/dad types. Those are lucky kids! We are who we are right?
I am a working mother, and I love my children more than anything in the world, and I would do anything for them. Financially, I have to work to pay the bills. But, it would DRIVE ME NUTS to be a stay at home mom. I just don't have one of those personalities that can think of cute, educational, different, energy-expending things to do all day, day after day.
Does this make me a bad mother? Gosh, I don't think so. I love them, and acknowledge what my own faults are. So, I find a daycare (mine are 2 and 4) that I think will take proper care of my children, and look out for them. I think if I stayed home day after day, I wouldn't appreciate my time as much with them as I do. (never mind, they wouldn't be as smart...how do they teach them all that stuff?!?!)
Ok I guess I'm the wacko here...I actually love all the "tedious" stuff about being a stay at home mom. Now that's not to say I don't have an occaisional moment where I realize I know more lyrics to Wiggles songs than to more current contemporary music....but hey it's all still good. They are only small once and soon they won't want to spend all this time with me, so I cherish it now while I still have it.
If you're getting bored with the everyday stuff with your kids
re-invent yourself
try new things
now boredom with the Christmas play I can't help that
but I guess when you see how happy they are it makes it worth it
and as for the night at school with santa
Science night and all those other lame thingies they have
I ask my kids if they want to go and remind them of how they got bored last year
usually they agree they don't want to go again
especially if i offer them dairy Queen
I think some moms do much better with their children when they are older, and are more *formed* personalities.
I instantly fell in love with my babies, did not mind the monotonous chores.
Sure the winters could be long, but I did okay, each day brought something new. I was the kind of mom who wrote down each new development, each new word learned. I *loved* bedtime stories, the whole bedtime ritual.
However, I completely understand how some moms could not only be bored to tears, but rather resentful.
When their child becomes older and responds in a more sophisticated way, the relationship can improve, become more interactive and thus more rewarding for mom.
It would seem that we narcissistic Yuppies/Baby Boomers, who act like everything we do is being done for the First Time Ever, turned having kids into some sort of competitive Power Parenting.
Now today's young parents have a new set of standards--and maybe they've taken it even farther.
It's too bad we have these mommy wars. Every mom has her strengths and vulnerabilities. One thing I do know is that no working mom can have it all, especially in the United States, which lacks organized maternity leave.
Kirwin-Taylor laments the fact that her article created a war, instead of dispelling a taboo.
But is there a middle ground when it comes to the mommy wars? Authors Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile, who co-wrote "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids," think they have found it.
"We're not united enough," Nobile said, "and we're kind of pitting ourselves against each other in order to just make ourselves feel like, 'Oh, I'm doing a good job. I'm making the right choice.'"
Probably true.
I love being able to stay home,but,I do not love all the tedious stuff that goes with it.I do,however love it when we have specific things to do.I love all the concerts,swimming lessons,soccer games,playgroups,storytimes that I can go to and watch my children at.I waited a long time to have kids,I love to see their progress,enjoyment,and accomplishments.I do miss having more time to myself to sit and read or whatever.
I also was bored sometimes with things I had to do with my son as he grew up. I didn't like to play games and different things. I DID like to watch cartoons with him. Especially Winnie the Pooh. That was something we enjoyed together. Maybe because I'm lazy and that's kind of "passive"
When he reached high school, (before he began driving himself) I had to sit out outside to pick him up and he was such a social butterfly, I had to sit outside the school hot and tired after working all day while he finished chatting with all his friends. Sometimes I even had to get out and go in and drag him out. Today I would try to move heaven and earth to again be able to play a board game or read to him or sit cooling my heels outside that high school. Any of it would do... because five years ago he was killed in a car accident at age 16. I'm not saying this to elicit sympathy or put some guilt trip on moms that feel harried.
Motherhood is not an easy job and sometimes, it IS tedious and boring, but I do write this in hopes that it will cause you to consider the alternative...
It took me a LONG time to like (not love) motherhood. I was very independant and a career ladder climber. I prefer an urban lifestyle and dispise housework and making dinner.
I didn't stay at home when my DS was a baby - it would have drove me up a wall!!!! Il ike the school plays and sports events etc - that I think is fun. It's like reliving it for me.
But you can take all the tedious crap in between. My house is a stye...I'd much rather have a wine tasting dinner party and have my life back then keeping a toddler occupied day in and day out.
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Motherhood
I had to sit outside the school hot and tired after working all day while he finished chatting with all his friends.
Sometimes I even had to get out and go in and drag him out. Today I would try to move heaven and earth to again be able to play a board game or read to him or sit cooling my heels outside that high school. Any of it would do... because five years ago he was killed in a car accident at age 16. I'm not saying this to elicit sympathy or put some guilt trip on moms that feel harried.
