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Will it work for my 21 month old? How do I do it? I'm at my wits ends with him. My daughter was such a good sleeper, I just thought I'd do the same thing with him. Boy was I wrong. My little one is up a lot at night, he still enjoys night nursing, and I'm pretty much done with his nighttime habits. I've always hated the thought of Ferberizing, but I'm reaching my breaking point.
Give me some tips... tell me it will work... how long does it take... how guilty will I feel... any alternatives?
I am not an advocate of the ferber method but I know there are many that are. I would highly recommend "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley (sp?). I read it when my youngest was around 2.
I don't have the foggiest idea of what "ferberize" means, so I can't offer an opinion.
However, I had one like that. It was horrible as it seemed as if we never got more that a couple of hours sleep at a time.
Our doctor said that sometimes babies just get into the habit of just sleeping in spurts, then waking. He precribed some sort of sleeping pill for about a week to break this habit. The first night, the child would wake up, stand up in this crib, cry a little and lie back down and go back to sleep. By the time of the last pill, he slept all the night. This may be an extreme way to handle the problem, but you might want to discuss this possibity with his doctor.
He grew up to be one of those people that can stay up all night working or having a good time without any extra sleep afterwards. Maybe he just didn't need a lot of sleep. I do think that a lot of his problem as a baby was that he got in the habit of sleeping only a short while.
I looked up "feberize" on the 'Net. I agree, it's just a version of letting the baby cry it out. With a child the age of yours, it's not likely to work. We tried everything with ours. Letting him fuss simply didn't work. The older child has the ability to be stubborn and has the physical ability to endure a long time without sleep if he starts crying (or screaming as the case may be)
We did find that a cute little blue elephant nigh tlight next to his crib helped. He seemed to watch it instead of crying.
When I lay her in her crib at night I'd let her cry for 5 minutes then go in and talk to her but not pick her up. Leave the room and if she was still crying go back in 10 minutes later, then 15, ect.
It took a week. The first night the crying lasted almost two hours. I'd have to go outside in-between the trips in to talk to her. The second night it was about an hour, the third a little less. It was hard on me but it worked out great in the end. She's a great sleeper now.
Yeah, I kind of wonder if I missed the boat on the Ferber thing. I'm so strongly against it, but like I said, we have reached a point that we will do almost anything for a good sleeper. I can say it because he's mine: he's just the most spoiled little thing when it comes to night time. I always used his age as an excuse, but now that he's almost 2, I'm out of excuses! I will try the no cry sleep solution. I've seen it and heard it's good.
Treeg, how old was she when you started? My thing is that my little one is a toddler, not an infant. I think he might be too savvy for the cry it out thing.
well i had to look it up myself and i am so NOT and advocate of this method!
my son started sleeping through the night when he was about 5-6 months.
that doesnt mean he didnt cry or wake occassionally. i always picked him up, and am so glad i did. many times he needed to burp and felt uncomfortable. then he would fall back to sleep and i was comfy in the knowledge that he was fine and i could go back to bed. and yes i did work and i lost a lot of sleep his first year.
i did not take his bottle away when he turned 1 either.
he is past 2 now and yes he still has a bottle of milk before bed. i rock him to sleep in my arms while listening to music. many people think this is a bad thing or he is too old for it etc.
i dont care what anyone thinks. i know my son--and experience has shown me that if i put him in bed while he is still awake, i will be having a LONG night.
i know someone who does the Ferber method with her child. i have baby sat for her and she has asked me to use her method. it kills me every time. the child screams and cries himself to sleep. she tells me she never checks on him at night if he cries, etc.
the child is so underweight its rediculous.
i think the methods you use has an effect on the health of the child.
I totally agree with you. I have never let my daughter cry, at all. We coslept with her and it was the best experience of all. She started sleeping on her own without nursing or rocking before she was 18 months. She the dream example of how cosleeing makes great sleepers. My son is totally different. He slept with us for a little while, but he was such a thrasher, it never really worked out well, so now he sleeps in his room on a futon. I put him down asleep or I nurse him to sleep. He wakes up every night, wants company, wants to nurse. He gets so offended when he wakes up and finds himself alone... heaven forbid.....So I end up sleeping with him. I'm just kinda done with it. I'm happy to nurse him, but not at night. I'm just done.
If it helps at all (because misery likes company, they say), my son is 22 mo. and still night nurses multiple times during the night. I feel stuck, too. I am really ready to sleep through the night, but it seems like to do anything about it, I would need to get even less sleep for awhile.
We tried the Ferber method last summer and it didn't work. The kid could cry all night if he wanted to. Well, he almost did. I don't like the method at all, but I actually tried two different times. There was no 3 hour, then 2 hour, etc.; it was ALL NIGHT!
Anyhow, my plan of attack (eventually) is to get my husband in the act. So many times he is fine with my husband but not with me because I have the milk. He usually wakes up around 11 p.m., 2 a.m. and 4 a.m., although he is finally starting to get rid of the 11 p.m. feeding. I figure I would first keep the 11 and the 4, but let my husband take the 2 a.m., then the 4 a.m. after awhile, then the 11. I don't know if this will work, but I am basing it off my son's enjoyment of nursing. I'm hoping if he realizes that he won't get the milk, he will be able sleep for longer periods.
If your husband is a little hesitant, remind him that the more sleep a woman gets, the more likely she will feel like being intimate
Also make sure he has an extremely full belly before bed, in case he really is hungry. Another mother suggested having a sippy of water on hand for the middle of the night--indeed, my son gets very thirsty in the night (although he will still nurse after drinking water).
Finally, they say that "genius" babies have a tendency to not sleep very much. While I don't really think my son is one of them (he hasn't started talking yet, even), sometimes in the middle of the night, it is nice to think of that fact, as if perhaps it will all pay off in the end!
Good Luck!
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